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-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
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amother
Hawthorn
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 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 12:46 am
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I agree with the advice to transition your parenting techniques at this point to more of a logic and coaching role. Reward and punishment IMHO will send you down a spiral with them. Its okay to let your dh do most of the parenting right now if he is more suited to this age children.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Mar 25 2024, 5:02 am
| amother Hawthorn wrote: | | I agree with the advice to transition your parenting techniques at this point to more of a logic and coaching role. Reward and punishment IMHO will send you down a spiral with them. Its okay to let your dh do most of the parenting right now if he is more suited to this age children. |
This is what I do already. Younger teens can have consequences occasionally, older ones cannot. This is exactly the issue, how to coach them when they don't see eye to eye with you. You'd think logic works, an 18 year old can be very illogical.
I asked mine this past shabbos to use grape juice for kiddush (he came home from shul after we had finished pur meal already) instead of wine because the wine we had out was stronger than the usual one we use, and he told me that that's his decision to make and I shouldn't be taking away his choices because he's too old for that and I'm controlling.
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amother
Strawberry
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Mon, Mar 25 2024, 5:59 am
| amother OP wrote: | This is what I do already. Younger teens can have consequences occasionally, older ones cannot. This is exactly the issue, how to coach them when they don't see eye to eye with you. You'd think logic works, an 18 year old can be very illogical.
I asked mine this past shabbos to use grape juice for kiddush (he came home from shul after we had finished pur meal already) instead of wine because the wine we had out was stronger than the usual one we use, and he told me that that's his decision to make and I shouldn't be taking away his choices because he's too old for that and I'm controlling. |
Is there truth to what he's saying? At that age you can suggest and explain but you can't demand such a thing. If he was 13, I would understand but 18 is quite big. Even if he was an alcoholic it would be difficult to demand that.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Mar 25 2024, 9:51 am
| amother Strawberry wrote: | | Is there truth to what he's saying? At that age you can suggest and explain but you can't demand such a thing. If he was 13, I would understand but 18 is quite big. Even if he was an alcoholic it would be difficult to demand that. |
I don't demand. I asked him a simple question in a polite manner.
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amother
Hawthorn
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Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:21 am
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So let your husband be the one to communicate these things. Just like in general mothers are better suited to small children, fathers have a way with older sons.
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