How to parent toddler instead of potching

amother

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 9:03 am

amother Taupe wrote:

I work in an elementary school and at times I see girls doing certain things or behaving in a certain way and all I think is this kid needs a good slap.
I know many of you will disagree with me. I was bh brought up in a very functional home, and yes, my parents on occasion slapped me, and sometimes it even hurt.
I don’t believe there is something wrong with a child knowing who is the boss. Children need to learn what no means, and that it is non-negotiable.

Just to give an example - there is one girl in second grade that is always complaining that she is sick. The mother told the teacher to ignore when she complains and not to send her to the office. In addition, she is seeing the social worker because of this.
In my opinion, this child needs some strong chinuch. The social worker sees her and validates her, plays with her, etch etc.
I don’t see anything wrong with mom saying (obviously after first making sure there is no bullying or other things happening to her physically or emotionally) ‘zeeskite, if the school calls me one more time that you are sick and you are really feeling fine, xyz will happen’
It isn’t fair to the teacher to have to deal with the girl sitting in the room and constantly crying/ complaining because her mother is not giving her some tough love.

Maybe because I'm the new generation (and obviously I don't have kids that age either) but I don't see how a potch would help at all here? Clearly something is bothering the kid.. I think the mother is making good parenting choices

amother

Taupe

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:12 am

Right. If something is bothering the kid, then what I said doesn’t apply.
But I was referring to the child just acting out, not wanting to sit in class cuz she’d rather be home, and wanting attention.
In this case, the child is getting the attention due to her behavior - she gets to go out of class and talk to the social worker (which is considered fun in this school).
I think this child needs to get positive attention when she behaves positively. And needs to be told sternly that when in school, you do as you are told.

amother

Mayflower

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 12:40 pm

I say HOT very sternly when I turn on the oven from when my kids are really little. If they start coming close then they have to sit far away when I open the oven. That teaches them it's dangerous and they know to be careful.
Some kids have zero sense of danger, though, and calmer tactics won't work. If your kid is like that, you'll have to teach them in a stronger way (like putting them in the crib/stroller).
Kudos to you for thinking into how to deal with things and trying to be an awesome mom. Your kids are lucky!

amother

Opal

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 1:44 pm

Oh my gosh. I can't even read all these replies, I am feeling so triggered by ppl even contemplating hurting their own child! Do you know the long term damage hurting hitting or beating up your own child causes??? Don't go there!! And don't ask such advice on imamother - ask a parenting expert or read Sarah Chana Radcliffe's book Raise your kids without raising your voice. Definitely no hitting necessary. You are meant to be a safe place for your child! For a long list of long term damages caused by hurting your child just search online for long term affects of hitting children or long term affects of physical abuse. Yes it's abuse. You're bigger than your child so it's abusive and bullying to hurt them
How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk is another great book

amother

Royalblue

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 6:28 pm

Raised many children BH and have never had to potch a child.
You can do it OP.

I currently have a toddler and it's hard but doable. It entails a tremendous amount of supervision, but that's my job as Mommy, to watch him and keep him safe (with Hashem's help of course, but I do my part).