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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling -> Seminary Info

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amother

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:11 pm

Dd will be going to a seminary an hour and a half away. The setup is that they come home every weekend.

I'm not sure why I am feeling so stressed out by this. I feel like it would be easier to just stay in one place, but this is what she wanted and of course I love the idea of seeing her every week!

Can anyone who has btdt, give some practical ideas of how things worked? Packing up every week? Laundry? Not even sure what I'm asking.

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:18 pm

What's the question?
She'll come home every week and probably bring her laundry unless she has machines in her dorm.

I spent time in high school boarding during the week and came home on the weekends.
If my main place of residence was my dorm then I'd like to leave most of my things there and pack it back with the essentials, or have double hair, brushes, shampoo etc.

She will probably still want to leave her nicer shabbos clothes at home other than maybe one or two things. Tights, underwear bra etc maybe she'll leave maybe she'll bring.
She'll figure out what works. Depending on the dorm set up, she might choose to leave more things at home for space.

I would for short encourage her to make her main living space school. So this way she feels more acclimated and has the opportunity to possibly go to a different friend if she would like to.

Im married and have double of these things that I leave at my parents house for the five times a year I visit.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:25 pm

My son does this. He is away during the week and comes home every Shabbos. I like the setup bc he's away yet home often. He does his laundry every week at home.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:27 pm

He usually just brings a small carry on home each week.

amother

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:29 pm

Thanks for the replies. Would most girls shlep their laundry back and forth every week?

amother

Snapdragon

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:32 pm

I went to seminary in Israel and was sooo homesick the whole time, I would’ve loved a set up like this! Smile

amother

Kiwi

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for the replies. Would most girls shlep their laundry back and forth every week?

If she's at the seminary age, why are you so concerned about her laundry? She's capable enough to take care of herself...let go.

amother

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:36 pm

amother Snapdragon wrote:

I went to seminary in Israel and was sooo homesick the whole time, I would’ve loved a set up like this! Smile

I actually think it's a great compromise! I'm just trying to figure out the logistics.

amother

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:39 pm

amother Kiwi wrote:

If she's at the seminary age, why are you so concerned about her laundry? She's capable enough to take care of herself...let go.

Lol. Was waiting for this. I'm just using this forum to get some practical tips. She is BH very capable and I'm perfectly capable of letting go.

amother

Heather

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 7:26 pm

She will figure out the laundry. She might want to do in her dorm and not schlepp. For now, let her know the home is there, let her invite a couple girls (not 10 at a time, put your foot down) and prepare food/salads she loves. You are not cooking for her during the week. Let her know she needs to tell you her schedule if she is coming home or staying in the dorm for Shabbat by Wednesday. This way you can shop and prepare. Enjoy it. Don't be nervous.

shirachadasha

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 7:44 pm

Will there be girls in the same school who don't have family nearby? Encourage dd to invite them to come home with her.

amother

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 8:03 pm

I like these ideas of her looking out for others who may not have the same cozy setup as her!

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 4:42 am

amother OP wrote:

In israel, so many high schoolers and sherut leumi and army/heseder guy do this. They are gone all week in school or doing sherut leumi or army/hesder and then bring home their dirty laundry on thursday night or friday morning. Its no big deal.
It becomes their new normal. Nothing to worry about.
She will bring home whatever SHE wants to.

essie14

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 5:44 am

This is exactly what my DD did for Sherut Leumi. Her sherut apartment was about an hour and a half away. We drove her on move in day with whatever she needed to get started and she came home every Shabbat on public transportation. She brought her laundry home and did it herself and took back whatever she wanted to take back on Sunday morning.
I was not really involved in the details, just happy to have her home for Shabbat. She worked it out herself.
Your DD will be fine.

DVOM

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 6:43 am

My son (10th grade) has this set up. He loves it.

He leaves some things in his dorm. Extra sox and underwear, towels, bathing suit, sweatshirts, a extra shirt and pants for school. He has a wheelie he takes back and forth. There are machines in school, and he does sometimes do laundry there.

He does the bulk of his laundry as soon as he comes home on Friday (after eating whatever Shabbos food and cake he can get his hands on!). I make sure the washing machine is empty for him, but other than that he takes care of it himself.

amother

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 8:20 am

Thanks all! Sounds like it works well!

amother

Lily

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 8:53 am

Do they never have an in shabbos?

amother

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 10:34 am

amother Lily wrote:

Do they never have an in shabbos?

I don't think so

mha3484

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 10:36 am

Assuming most of her HS friends are in E'Y encourage her to bring friends home so she has company and doesn't find herself lonely on Shabbos afternoon.

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