How to balance everything

amother

Thu, Apr 18 2024, 3:16 pm

My baby is 7 months and im embarrassed to say that I still don’t feel I know how to be a mother. Or more like how to be a mother,wife, and myself. Im having such a hard time taking care of him and taking care of myself. My baby is extremely needy/clingy. I never have a moment to myself. Im nursing and should be eating well but I find that a whole day goes by and all Iv eaten is a banana. No wonder I have a headache. Now with pesach prep,and it being the first time im making pesach. Im losing it. Im up till 3 every night to get things done while he’s asleep for the night. Then waking up early. It’s been tough. Any tips are appreciated.

mummiedearest

Thu, Apr 18 2024, 3:28 pm

Ouch.

Babies are needy little creatures, and that is exhausting at times.

Do you have a baby carrier/wrap/sling? If not, get one. Wear the baby while doing things around the house. It’s a learned skill, but once you get it, it’s a relief.

Are there teens in your area who could come hold the baby for a while? Take baby out in a stroller? Are you able to pump once a day so hubby can feed the baby at night and let you sleep?

There are a lot of “rules” that we hear when we first become mothers, and we are usually not told to just relax about them. Look at what you need to function, then adjust as necessary. Do you need to allow the baby formula once in a while so you can get stuff done? Do you need to learn to nurse in a baby wrap? Do you need to cosleep to maximize sleeping hours?

It’s your first time making pesach- do you know where you can cut corners? Don’t organize or spring clean. Just find chametz and trash it. Kitchen- self clean oven, close off cabinets, clean counters. Clean sink and fridge. Get a dish bucket for the sink, don’t kasher it. Clean your counters. If you spray something with cleaning chemicals, it ain’t chametz. No need to scrub. Get a frying pan and pot, spatula, large spoon, knife, chopping board and go grocery shopping. Actually, send hubby shopping. Use boxes as your pantry for a week. Use as many disposables as you can. Have hubby do as much laundry as possible, but don’t bother sorting it. And put him in charge of feeding you! Don’t forget to drink water. And remember, your dh has the obligation to search for the chametz pre-pesach. Do what you can, but don’t go nuts.

Good luck!

amother

Thu, Apr 18 2024, 6:52 pm

Husband is at work most of the day he’s in a business where pesach time is the busiest for him. But when he’s home he does help, and make me food. But that’s already evening.

I also do co sleep thank goodness so I do get some sleep.
I will try the baby carrier he really hates it but I’ll keep trying.
Thanks for the validation. And tips.

mummiedearest

Thu, Apr 18 2024, 9:18 pm

Ask your dh to pre make some easy things for you.

Suggestions:

Smoothies- include yogurt, nut butter, some greens. Easy way to pack in nutrients.

Hard boiled eggs.
Salads with your favorite dressing- top with eggs or baked chicken cutlets or a can of tuna.

Baked potatoes.

Burgers with veggies and pickles.

Pick three and ask him to make them in the evenings. He can make bigger batches so you can grab them from the fridge.

Can you keep some cut up fruit on the counter so you can snack throughout the day? Or a veggie tray with dips? Keep a huge bottle of water there as well. You need to drink a lot.

If your dh can help you in this way, you may find that your baby nurses less frequently and is calmer. If you’re not eating and drinking properly, your milk supply may be low. If you can hire a lactation consultant, she should be able to tell you one way or another. That may help your peace of mind.

Some things to remember:

No one really does everything perfectly. We only think so. Forgive yourself for having to figure things out, we all do.

You are the same person you always were. Motherhood doesn’t give you a brand new personality. It just gives you new obligations and responsibilities. As you meet those, you may find your priorities start to change naturally. That’s a good thing. Your old interests may resurface when your children are older and don’t need you constantly. You don’t need to find yourself right now. This stage is survival mode for you, so just focus on that. You’ll get through it and still be you.

amother

Thu, Apr 18 2024, 11:42 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

Thank you! Love the idea that my husband should prep me some foods. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. And he’d probably be happy too.
Really appreciate this!