How do I let friends know we are by ourselves w/o sounding

amother

Amber

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 4:23 pm

What's wrong with eating alone as a couple? You wouldn't think twice about enjoying a meal alone with your dh on a regular Tuesday. Suddenly it's Yom Tov and everyone feels the pressure that they HAVE to host or be guests. Why?
You want company? Go for a walk after the meal and visit friends. I can't handle this madness anymore surrounding obligatory long meals with too much food for days on end every Yom Tov. Everyone needs to calm down.

amother

Maple

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 5:38 pm

If you aren't up to hosting, maybe they aren't either? Don't keep pushing. I am saying this as someone in terrible financial difficulties and would hate for people to push themselves for an invite from us. We get tomchei (hard where I live... very tough to get approved). I would love to host but totally cannot at this time.

At the same time we get almost no invites ever. In the past one of the kollel wives (who has kids) from my shul was talking to me about inviting people over and somehow it came up that we were going out (super rare). she said "I assumed you don't eat out because of the kids". I said I would totally eat out. Her immediate response was "well my husband does the inviting, not me".
I guess you don't want us over. Very obvious. If you wanted us over you would say "I will talk to my husband about inviting you over sometime, he does the invites so I don't know when we have a free meal". They invite a lot of people. She talks about it.

lamplighter

Tue, Apr 30 2024, 10:41 pm

When people say, were home, there is no indication that they want anything different. Lots of people are happy to be home.
You can just be honest and say, we are home unless we get an invitation out.

On the flip side, as someone who often has guests and sometimes doesn't, there are a million and one reasons why people are not inviting, you yourself have reasons.

When it's not Yom tov, you can talk to your friends about how you enjoy getting invited out. Some people don't want to be guests, so could be your friends don't know.