My toddler broke my nose

amother

Ghostwhite

Fri, May 03 2024, 12:23 am

I actually think he’s probably just very advanced and mischievous and that this is a big game to him. Seems like an extreme case of the terrible twos although I bet he was like this to some extent when he was younger.

I’m sorry you are going through this and I hope he settles down soon, hopefully once he’s able to express himself more fully.

Rappel

Fri, May 03 2024, 12:30 am

amother Rainbow wrote:

Sounds like a psychopath. Maybe get him evaluated by a psychiatrist or child psychologist and get another opinion if they say nothing is wrong

I knew a toddler psychopath. He was very quiet, very observant, and deep down very scared during his independence moments. We were neighbors from age 2 to age 4, and it was notable to watch him.

Nothing like the confidence of expression that OP described in her post. I think she's safe on that level.

amother

Opal

Fri, May 03 2024, 1:21 am

If he's very advanced, there are a few things you could try.
Try stretching him - give him 80 piece puzzles and do them with him, teach him to play ball, teach him advanced shapes etc

Because it's just with you, it likely isn't a disorder so much as a behavioral issue. It means he sees you as a safe place where he can let out frustration. You need to teach him to let out his frustration in other places. Teach him to hit a pillow. To do jumping jacks. Jump on a small trampoline. Push against a wall. Carry a bag that's heavy enough to challenge him.

At the same time, you need to make sure your reaction when he does behave nicely is way more than when he hits. If he hits, just put him away from you and move away without hugging etc. If he's nice, give him a huge hug, pick him and twirl him around.

Over the weekend, is your husband around? If so, every time he hurts, your husband picks him up and takes him out the room. We don't hurt Mommy. We love Mommy. We can only be with Mommy if we treat her with respect. It will be a tough weekend but he's bright and he'll learn the lesson.

As he grows a bit older, I would keep an eye out for ASD style tendencies. It could be he is clever enough to mimic other people's behavior in most social settings but with time it will get harder for him. From experience, I don't believe any neuro-psych would diagnose ASD for this profile at this age.

amother

Lightyellow

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

I really tried all the gentle methods and nothing has been working. When he broke my nose I was in too much pain to do anything except wiper but my husband was there and gave him a potch. He cried and literally as I’m standing there trying to deal with the blood he comes around and starts stamping on my toes (he does this all the time). Im at my wits end

You mentioned you have a baby as well… could be he is subconsciously angry that you’re spending time with the baby and not him…. It’s so hard for the older child when another baby joins the family. (Someone once told me how would you like if your husband brought home another wife… sister wife lol… it’s not the same obviously but you get the idea…)

They’re used to being the baby and being taken care of the whole time and all of the sudden they’re number 2… and a baby takes up alot of time and attention that he is not getting anymore. He also can’t express himself at this age… maybe try giving him a lot more undivided attention?

Not judging or saying that you’re not doing that. I’m just thinking out loud. I once heard a saying that the ones that act out are the ones that need love the most… something to that effect.

amother

Wine

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:16 pm

amother Lightyellow wrote:

Someone calling a 2 year old child a psychopath… SMH!!!!! Wow some people really are insane. Sorry but that takes the cake. You haven’t even met this child, never mind not having evaluated him. Even mentioning the word psychopath is so outrageous. Made me laugh.

I saw that, also thought it's crazy but I imagine she's being sarcastic. Hard to know from a post, u don't get the tone.

shachachti

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:21 pm

amother Lightyellow wrote:

This makes the most sense.
Instead of saying I hate you for spending time with the baby he is saying it with actions.

You can ask him if he is sad that you are with the baby. Ask him if he wants you to hold him.

And after all that still, he cannot do be physical with you.

Can you hold him very firmly when he starts to be physical with you?

You both face the same direction. You hold his back to your stomach. You hold his hands and feet between your hands and if necessary your feet.

Hold him for a few minutes while saying softly- you cannot do abc because it hurts.
I love you.
I will let you go when you are calm.

It takes a ton of energy but I have had children like this and that was the only way.

amother

Cadetblue

Fri, May 03 2024, 4:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

My child is very active and gets into everything. The last few weeks he has been having a lot of tantrums where he gets very angry and throws things etc. today he made a fist and deliberately hit me in my nose and it hurt so I I was like half crying and he hit me again . Is this normal? He’s 2. He lately keeps trying to hurt me . He kicked me hard in my head with a shoe and I got a big bump. He also bites me and slaps and scratches.He doesn’t do this to anyone else except for me. He never hurts my baby and in school He is super well behaved. How am I supposed to respond to this?

Try to see if there’s something in your behavior that’s making him act this way, as it seems like he’s only lashing out at you. Is he trying to get your attention? Is he jealous of your relationship with your baby? Does he feel like you aren’t understanding him or respecting his ability to make decisions? Are you giving him a sense of control over his life? This often happens during the terrible twos as kids learn that they can that they have the power to say “no”. Look out for how you react to him and see if there’s a way for you to change this cycle

amother

Cadetblue

Fri, May 03 2024, 4:08 pm

octopus wrote:

This is a good and helpful post!

Calling op's kid a psychopath or criticizing her parenting is not helpful!

It’s not called criticizing her parenting to state that perhaps there’s something she can do differently to make the situation change. Not everything is so personal

amother

Charcoal

Fri, May 03 2024, 4:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

evaluated by who? When he’s not tantrumming he’s a sweet darling who impressed everyone with his adorable looks and sweet baby voice talking like an adult

To me, this is might be a crucial bit of info. Talking like a "little man" can be a sign of ASD. Advanced in figuring out locks, but watching his mother bleed without alarm is also something that makes me think autism. Call your pediatrician and enumerate your concerns and ask if they can give you a prescription for an evaluation.

dydn11402

Sun, May 05 2024, 8:44 pm

There seem to be 2 issues at play here:
1. Your relationship with your son
2. Your discipline techniques.
As far as your relationship, try focus on quality and quantity time together to better your attachment. Focus (in your mind) how good he is, how much you love him. Spend time reading books, playing games, singing songs etc. Positive interactions.
When he hurts you there is zero tolerance. Take his hands in yours tightly and tell him you will not let go until he says he won't hurt you. In a sharp voice say, "we do not hurt mommy". Every time. Hold him in a way that prevents him hurting until he relaxes and you can let go.

amother

DarkKhaki

Sun, May 05 2024, 9:01 pm

I know e/o is focused on the behavior, but,OP, have you seen an ENT?

Years ago a friend mentioned that her baby broke her nose accidentally (baby threw head back & hit Mom's nose) but by the time she saw an ENT he told her it had already started to heal & he'd have to re-break to repair... hope I'm not mixing up.

Anyhow, when it seemed to happen to me I made sure to go immediately, w a picture to show my nose before & he was able to tell me was just bruised.