Schools Enforcing a Rule in the Rulebook

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Anemone

Sun, May 05 2024, 2:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

The problem that I see is that when a school starts enforcing a rule, giving a consequence, and then the parents get upset at the school for the consequence.

We pass judgement on the school so quickly.

Let's say the school clearly states that a certain amount of attendance infractions will result in being asked not to return to the school.
Then the next year, the parents are struggling to look for a new school, badmouthing the school and the administrators. Everyone is so quick to agree that the school is in the wrong.

Look, I think the school should be enforcing the rules. But then I think we, as parents need to accept the enforcement and not fight it, even if it's our own child, and even if we don't agree with the rule.

You are right.
But most parents aren't mature enough to do that.

amother

Outerspace

Sun, May 05 2024, 2:45 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

Here is an example to highlight why such blanket school rules can be quite harmful.

You can have a 17 yo with a permit who takes a trip into NYC with her 19 yo sister who has a license. They then spend their day doing whatever they so wish to.

You can have a 17 yo who did get a license but only drives to do some errands upon her parents requests.

Who is now going to be punished as per the school rule. The first one is in direct defiance of the objective of the rule, but found a loophole. The second one is doing good and is in line with the objective of the rule. Who is the one that should inherently be punished? Doesn't it make much more sense for such rules to be implemented by the parents??

All it takes is one or two girls in the class (or more) with lenient parents who get drivers licenses and cars and then they drive groups of friends all over town. The school obviously doesn’t want groups of girls from their school driving around to malls , on road trips or wherever which is typically what girls this age will do given their developmental stage as a previous poster said. Girls might find another way to get somewhere (a ride with an older sibling) , but it won’t be as easy and as common and likely to happen as it would if all the girls in the school are permitted to get their licenses.

amother

Outerspace

Sun, May 05 2024, 2:52 pm

amother Anemone wrote:

You are right.
But most parents aren't mature enough to do that.

When a school has a clear rule that every parent signs on and the rule is enforced with the same consequence for everyone who breaks it, what’s there to fight about ? Parents fight when they know there are other students who break the rule and don’t get the consequence and then their child breaks the rule and gets the consequence.

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, May 05 2024, 5:26 pm

Rumor has it that the punishment being handed out to those students is no graduation trip, no graduation and no diploma. And apparently it’s more than 5-10 girls, more like in the 20’s… does that seem fair?

amother

Heather

Sun, May 05 2024, 5:33 pm

amother Pumpkin wrote:

Honestly? I don't see why the amount of girls makes a difference to whether or not it's fair. At least this way it's not just two girls that don't get to graduate or go on the trip.

You have to sign before you enter 9th grade that you won't get a permit before chanuka 12th. You sign again in 11th. Then 12th. It's not just a rule in the handbook that you only know if you read it, it's one that they constantly keep reminding you about. I don't have a child in any of those grades so I can't tell you, if they actually let you know that you might be expelled or not be able to graduate if you don't follow the rule, but if they did warn you then how is it not fair? I feel like there were other years that girls didn't follow certain rules and they didn't get their diploma.

If they didn't warn you that this would be the repercussion specifically, then I think that the other poster that said that this year they should give a smaller, large punishment ,like no trip, and let people know that next year all 3 will happen, would make more sense.

amother

Carnation

Sun, May 05 2024, 10:03 pm

amother Pumpkin wrote:

No graduation trio? The girls will make their own Laugh

So they'd better give them detention during graduation trip LOL

But at that point who cares, they year is over.

No graduation is not fair in my opinion. Celebrate4 years even though a mistake was made in the final year.

Re. Diploma, so they'll get a GED and pass in 99%ile. No big deal.

amother

Aubergine

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:49 pm

GLUE wrote:

And isn't that the problem?
When parents come to the school to complain about such things the school should say that's for you to figure out with your child. Maybe have resources available to help parents talk to there kids.
The more parents outsource there parenting to the school, the more the school will take over.
The school should start from the beginning we are here to educate your child not to be the parent. When parents see that the school is not parenting they will not ask the school to do the hard work.
Many parents don't feel confided to be parents and it's easier to let someone else be the parent.
Schools should have guidelines on what is acceptable out of school not rules. They should not be in loco the parents.

I agree with you.
I’m just saying that this is partially the fault of the parent body.

abound

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:27 am

actually many schools are upset that the parents expect them to also parent.

amother

Charcoal

Thu, May 09 2024, 7:30 am

INteresting that the Lakewood Scoop put up a letter from the school and then took it down, I guess by request of the school.

I went there and didn't get my license either.

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