Just tell me what to do

amother

Aubergine

Wed, May 08 2024, 10:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

I've regained the 30 lbs I lost since the summer. I have lost and regained between 20-60 lbs over and over in the past 10 years.
I had lost 60 lbs and then had a surprise last pregnancy. I regained all of that weight between pregnancy and nursing and covid. My baby is almost 4 and I have lost and gained the same 20/30 lbs twice a year since. I'm so so so done.
I know all the diets out there, I've done it all, a lifetime of being obese gifts you a vast knowledge and experience of every weight loss method that exists. I've been to nutritionists and IE therapists, explored the emotional source of overeating. BTDT.
Unfortunately due to a health issue I am not a candidate for the shots. That would be awesome wouldn't it.
Here's the thing: my body hurts, I am winded doing stairs, my joints hurt, I am having gastric issues, I have a health issue that extra weight makes it worse (the literal weight not the unhealthy ness). I cannot give up on losing this weight but I also cannot start another diet (ya ya they all call them lifestyles) the cycle of hope, success, regain shame, depression it's killing me.
I need to do SOMETHING though. Can someone tell me what to do?
What can I do that can make a difference but not send me on this cycle/spiral?

if you know all the diets and what it takes, what advice do you want?

I need to lose 35 lbs. I started my fitness pol, counting what I eat. Honestly,not cheating. I try to be aware. And I eat small portions of everything I want. Chocolate, herring, pretzels....for me food is comfort, thinking about no carbs make me want to eat all crabs in the world. Dieting is torture for me. I just limit enormous portions of what I used to eat, caloric awareness helps a lot.

I would think do calories counting with portion control. I do try to weight my foods. And even if it's not 1350 calories I should be eating daily,it is a small start anyway!for me allowing me small piece of whatever I want, let's me be calmer about food and have less cravings. Even in 30 pounds from now, to maintain my weight I would have to be within certain caloric threshold. So yes, idea to get accustom to eating certain amount of food is great.

amother

Whitesmoke

Thu, May 09 2024, 12:55 am

The biggest change I made was drastically limiting the oil I put in cooked food…. This way for the most part you still get to eat what you want but it’s less calorie dense.

I also switched to lower carb, higher fiber crunchy snacks.

Whatever you do to loose the weight has to be something you’re willing to continue doing. It has to be a lifestyle change or you’ll gain the weight back when you go back to your normal diet.

Rather than sticking to a one size fits all approach, find small changes you can make that create a small calorie deficit while still being a general food regimen you can imagine being on long term.

You CAN do this! I don’t know you, but I believe in you!

amother

Offwhite

Thu, May 09 2024, 1:22 am

amother OP wrote:

Oh ya each time I think this is gonna be it! This diet I'll be able to do forever. I'm so excited and so positive. Clearly the problem is not the diets, it's me.

What’s the longest you ever stuck with a plan? And was it something that was really realistic for you as a way of life? I think the habit mindset is key. And clearly you could use a skilled wise nutritionist / therapist who could help you get inside your head and figure out your personal food struggles. We all know it’s a mind game…

amother

Ruby

Thu, May 09 2024, 2:32 am

Find a form of movement that you absolutely love- dance/ water aerobics/ fast walk/ lifting light weights, put an alarm on your phone 3-4 days a week for 30 minutes (or 10 or 5 if that’s all you can manage) call it me time, tell yourself that you can’t wait for your me time slots, look forward to it, tell that to your brain until it believes you. Add a fresh raw vegetable to every meal, make sure you’re getting enough sleep. This will be slow but steady progress.

Hatzlocho

camp123

Thu, May 09 2024, 2:48 am

First realize there is no quick fix it wouldn't be multi billion dollar industry if there was.

The majority of people who diet put the weight back on.

Whatever you do needs to be sustainable for life.

You MUST really WANT this, be honest with yourself. Write why you want this down and read it every night.

I would recommend intermittent fasting along with low carb/sugar. High protein. And exercise at least once a week, pref more.

amother

Stone

Sat, May 11 2024, 4:24 pm

This is the problem with diet culture.
When you follow a "diet plan," it's very easy to gain it all back, plus more.

I would suggest looking into intuitive eating and gentle movement.
Start with the intuitive eating book. The accomponying workbook can help as well. Both can be purchased on Amazon.

I would then turn to social media, where there are so so many creators bringing awareness to this topic.
Some names off the top of my head:
Abbey Sharp
Colleen Christensen
Ben Carpenter
Sohee Fit
Justina Ercole
Diet Culture Rebel
Adam Wright

Intuitive Eating has 10 basic principles that'll help you tune into your body's wants and needs. You won't feel deprived, you will still feel healthy, and you will stop thinking about food all the time.

Quick Summary:
1. Rejecting diet culture - recognize where diets have failed you and why they won't work long term.
2. Honor your hunger - learn to tune into your body and understand when you're hungry and why.
3. Make peace with food - ditch the food rules!! No more "sugar is bad for you," "I really shouldn't eat that," etc... (I know, it sounds counterintuitive, but the more you actually give yourself true and guiltless permission to eat this, the less appealing it becomes.
4. Challenge your food rules
5. Satisfaction factor - make eating an enjoyable experience
6. feel your fullness- the other end of "honor your hunger," learn to stop when full. You'll learn not to clean your plate just because it's there (Hard to believe, I know).
7. Emotional eating - learn how and when emotional eating is ok, and how to decrease it happening as often. Learn to turn elsewhere for emotional comfort/validation
8. Respect your body - learn to love your body at its current size, hating yourself skinny doesn't work
9. Gentle movement - find a movement you love to do - do it out of excitement, not as a chore.
10. Gentle Nutrition - learn the basics of nutrition, and how to have a balanced diet.

This takes a lot of time and patience, but is so worthwhile. You'll see, you'll get your life back.

Hatzlacha!

amother

Ginger

Sat, May 11 2024, 9:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

I've done it multiple times with various variations. It works until it doesn't. I havent been able to maintain such a lifestyle. I end up with extreme cravings and end up giving in eventually and regain it.
I could probably give everyone else nutrition advice.
I just want something to do. One thing to start with a doable thing that tells my mind and body we got this, you're doing something but it's not going to turn your life upside down until it's too hard that you quit.
I'm thinking James clear/atomic habits style

Start drinking water