S/o food restrictions

amother

Begonia

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

We eat blueberries straight up. It's definitely the easiest fruit to mindlessly eat and they go FAST. Strawberries too, and there it's not just money, but effort since they have to be checked too (and once I'm checking, it makes sense to slice them at that point, so by the time they're accessible to my kids, they've been checked and prepped already). I'm not even really talking about junk food, I mean normal foods that I don't want to restrict but it can't be unlimited because it can go quickly and I can only go to the store so many times/spend so much money on whatever item. The other thread makes it sound like if you don't let your kids take what they want when they want, they'll develop some sort of complex.

The opposite. Most kids who grow up with limits function very well in society. Take everything you read on here with a grain of salt.

amother

RosePink

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don’t think people were saying that. The other OP was talking about micromanaging her kids drinks and allowing one slice of challah. That’s different than telling the kids they need to share an expensive container of blueberries.

That being said, if every time I bought blueberries it became a big fight, I’d rather not buy them and get another fruit instead.

amother

Tealblue

Mon, May 13 2024, 12:36 pm

There are definitely things I buy that the kids know they need to ask first. Usually these r expensive items. And specialty items. I also teach my kids to take one portion wait till everyone gets if theres more then they can have doubles. So they learned to check and split things. I think these are healthy skills. I also don’t allow to pick things out for example if you are taking from a jar of mixed nuts you cant just take all the almonds.
I do hide certain things like chocolate or they would be gone in a min.

amother

Burntblack

Mon, May 13 2024, 12:51 pm

this is so interesting.

growing up we would never take any kind of food without permission.

I would ask - even as an older teen before taking pretzels from the pantry! for sure any kind of produce or specific item I would check with my mother before opening.
it was usually fine but sometimes she bought things with a specific meal or recipe in mind and would say no.

it really wasnt a big deal. I never felt resentful - or honestly, even thought about it once. my siblings are the same.. it was just natural.
only when discussing this with a friend as a married adult did I think back and go 'yeah thats kind of strange - haha'

my mother in general is a very type a personality who likes to have control. and we were fine. bH its just interesing because all of us girls married men who are very take charge type and leaders. so iguess we were conditioned to be this way LOL

I could see how this could clash with a kid who had a independent personality but I guess my mother got lucky