Nosh on school trips -- is this a normal amount?

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:07 pm

giselle wrote:

This one day won’t be what makes a difference. If this is an ongoing serious issue, it may warrant consulting with a professional about how to handle it. However be very careful with whom you consult, as some nutritionists do not deal with these things in a healthy way.

That's why I'm asking if this is considered within reason. Maybe it's more of a popularity thing, wanting to bring the good stuff that everyone's gonna want from her?

ra_mom

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

My kids are not like that. They are large eaters in general and don't really have a stop button when it comes to candy. They never "forget" or are "too busy" or not hungry enough to eat nosh.

Taking it back now can have ramifications on her relationship with food her whole life. Not worth it for this time.

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:09 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Taking it back now can have ramifications on her relationship with food her whole life. Not worth it for this time.

I'm not planning on saying anything. My lips are zipped. I just really want to know if this is normal or if I have a more serious issue on my hands that needs professional intervention.

amother

Papaya

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don't have a sense of humor, I'm not finding it funny at all. This kid is already not fine. She's very overweight, a compulsive eater, craves sugar and junk intensely. Has other issues too. It's just that everywhere I go, I keep getting the message that restricting will make things worse. And even making comments is considered restricting. And I know she was sneaking stuff already. I guess it's lose-lose for parents like me.

Your post made me laugh too, even if it wasn't your intention it definitely lifted my spirits.
I say you did the right thing. She'll feel like she can give instead of feeling jealous and like a schnorrer. Tell her I'm so glad you'll be able to share with your friends.
My mother was a bit of a health freak, she didn't know I traded my carrot sticks for fruit roll ups. My classmates would beg me for my vegetables which I graciously traded. This was 6th, 7th grade.
Would she be willing to meet with a dietician and make a health plan for herself? Someone who will give her allowance for nosh but teacher her what a balanced diet is?

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:12 pm

amother Apricot wrote:

Way too much. Why did she need so many family bags of candy? I would have discussed basic amounts like get two small candies and 3 other type of nosh. You don’t have to go extreme and not set any rules.

Ok I regret it now. We used to do this for day camps trips up until now and I felt like it was creating too much friction.

But maybe it's a me issue, I never know where and how and when to set boundaries around food so I tend to overcompensate.

I also majorly overestimated this kids judgment. I really, really had faith she'd be more reasonable. Like I said upthread, I didn't want to be arguing about a third snack vs a third candy. But boy, I did NOT mean for her to be supplying the entire bus with junk (most of it which will likely land in HER stomach)

Tzutzie

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:12 pm

Sounds like my kid. She's doesn't have a sweet tooth. ALL her teeth in her mouth are sweet!
I give a budget. And I remind her to add 2 snacks cuz those will fill her up more than taffies.

It's max $5 including the drink.

What was her budget?

I do allow to take double of one item that is outside the budget to share.
The are generally happy. (My girls are 9 and 10)

amother

Chambray

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:13 pm

If she has weight and health issues, it might be better for you to go with her to the store and help her make better choices.
What was her budget?
She definitely didn't pick the right nosh healthwise for someone who has a weight and compulsive eating problem.

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:14 pm

amother Papaya wrote:

She recently asked to see a nutritionist and "go on a diet". I'm not taking her to one because honestly I don't think she has what it takes to follow through and it's just going to create more shame and guilt, which she already struggles with.

I hope to God she gives some of this away.

Also I never send carrot sticks for snack. I work so so hard to find them nutritious, or at least not actively harmful snacks to take to school so they don't feel restricted. I make a LOT of concessions in the name of their social and emotional health and supposed relationship with food.

I'm so, so sick of being given the message that I created this monster Sad

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:15 pm

Tzutzie wrote:

Ok so her budget was way too big. I gave her 15 dollars. Like I said, I didn't want to set guidelines because I didn't want to create any sort of tension or friction.

I'm definitely going to lower the budget next time. That's probably the least harmful, guilt inducing way to limit what she's able to take.

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:16 pm

amother Chambray wrote:

You mean she picked exactly the kind of nosh someone with a compulsive eating problem would pick right Wink

AlwaysCleaning

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

OP, if she asked to go to a nutritionist, then let her!
You trusted her to go into a supermarket and choose healthy snacks, why would you not trust her to find a food plan with her nutritionist that coukd work for her and follow thru?

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:26 pm

AlwaysCleaning wrote:

Um, I wouldn't say I trusted her.

I felt this is what I needed to do in the name of her emotional health.

I was wrong.

A food plan will have her sneaking more.

amother

Nemesia

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

Maybe next time you can plan the shopping trip together. Talk about buying some candy and some snacks that are more filling. Look up on the store's website how much everything costs and remember to factor in taxes on the nosh. Figure out the trip schedule and what she will want to eat when.

This can be a great learning experience. Budgeting. Planning a schedule ahead of time. Thinking of what her appetite will be like tomorrow. Choosing better choices (a Danish is better than a family pack of jelly beans).

She's getting older and you're going to have less and less control over what she eats. Maybe planning together will do the trick.

Then again, maybe not if this is a sugar & carb addiction like you seem to suggest. I would meet with a dietitian to get some input.

amother

Nemesia

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

Um, I wouldn't say I trusted her.

I felt this is what I needed to do in the name of her emotional health.

I was wrong.

A food plan will have her sneaking more.

You need to get her buy in somehow. Does she have ADHD or another diagnosis? Or is it just food?

amother

Eggplant

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:33 pm

It might be alot for 1 child but sharing. You share your pringles with 3 friends, you get like 10 pringles. I am sure she will share her Chocolate. All the others also. As others posted, send her with some fruit. Let her have fun. You can discuss later trips and the choices we make with food.

lamplighter

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:33 pm

Is this the first time she had free reign to buy however much nosh she wanted?
If yes, this sounds normal to me. She feels free and went overboard. Next time give her a budget in which she would have to buy less.

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:36 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

You need to get her buy in somehow. Does she have ADHD or another diagnosis? Or is it just food?

She has other stuff going on but she's in denial about all of it - likely part of her presentation. Can't have a discussion about it.