Nosh on school trips -- is this a normal amount?

amother

Diamond

Mon, May 13 2024, 5:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

So having made comments in the past means I exert a lot of control? If I go in to a store and help her choose (that's a lot of candy, let's get another snack instead, let's put back this big bar of chocolate and get a smaller one, let's take a drink that's not soda) that's considered exerting *a lot* of control?

Oddly enough, that's what a lot of posters here think I should have been doing.

No. I wouldn’t go in and make comments. I would prep in advance- list of what we are buying (not exact but a list of types, so 2 snack bags, one family pack candy) and then butt out.

amother

Clematis

Mon, May 13 2024, 5:09 pm

I think you were in the right direction giving her a budget and letting her make her own choices but the budget was clearly too big.
I'm in Israel so obviously prices are different. I give my under 10s 2 snack bags and 1 sweet snack per trip. 10-15 yr olds get 15 shekel and over 15 get 20. They can do what they like with it but there's no way they are going to make it stretch to the sheer quantity you're describing.
I would suggest that you literally go to the store and work out how much a reasonable amount of nosh costs and decide on an appropriate budget for next time.

amother

Mon, May 13 2024, 5:15 pm

amother Steel wrote:

I guess the information from this is that your fears do play a big role because I'm pretty sure you were convinced that this wouldn't happen....

You were certain she would eat all of it.

So either this is a passive aggressive way of reiterating you don't want to participate anymore (in which case you can unfollow the topic and just not reply) or this really happened and you might want to look at your own fears.

Because when others suggested this might be the case you were insistent that they didn't know your daughter and that she will eat it all past a stomachache without any learning taken from it...

No need to take anyones suggestions or explore it further but it might serve you to look at your panic around it. I still stand by what I shared before based on the minimal info in this post (so obviously it could be off mark).

Wow, so much unsolicited armchair psychoanalysis. Lol.

She most certainly did eat to the point of a big stomachache, and likely past it. Notice she said she took too much. she didn't say she ate too much. She didn't say ma I brought home a ton of leftovers. She said I took too much and now I have a huge stomachache. Which is a close as shes going to get to saying she went way overboard. She wasn't the one who said she wants to take less next time, it was me who offered up that nonchalant suggestion.

Either way, my concern wasn't just about this little snapshot in time.

amother

Peru

Mon, May 13 2024, 5:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

It's amazing to me that I need to let my daughter eat her way to diabetes to be considered an amazing mother but I appreciate the sentiment.

It's an attitude like this from mother to daughter that often leads to daughters having an eating disorder. Be careful.

lovelylife

Mon, May 13 2024, 5:56 pm

Didn't read through the entire thread, because there was too much blame going on here.

OP, you seem to be a growing person who only wants the best for your daughter.
Right now, your daughter isn't aligning with your values, but it isn't helping your relationship.
She has a problem, and you want to help her, without her feeling choked. I commend you for this.

I highly recommend looking into intuitive eating for children. Don't just take my word for it. Learn about it. Read a book. Google it. Watch a youtube video on it. Understand the science behind it. Then, if it resonates, try to implement it into your life and that of your children.

Hatzlacha!

amother

Butterscotch

Mon, May 13 2024, 6:43 pm

I get you op. I really really do.
Advice from another chrunchy mama.

I repeat in my mind often “emotional health is more important than physical health”
And I close my eyes and let my kids pig out on sugar sugar msg msg coloring and what not.
Breakfast and dinner are healthy and if those are eaten then I bite my tongue and say I trust you know what your body needs now.

What really changed matters for me was thr bitachon factor of hashem will watch them and I stopped viewing the garbage as true poisons. If you can get to that part…it will help your daughter tremendously. She will want more and more sugar until you accept the fact that she eats tons of that….I have only love and sympathy. Signed by a true health nut

amother

Lotus

Mon, May 13 2024, 6:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

A big bar of milk chocolate
A family size box of Mike n ikes
A family size bag of jolly ranchers
A family size containers of Pringles
A family size bag of skittles
A bottle of sprite

How much money did you give this child? And having given it, did you really think she was going to spend it on a pint of acai berries and a head of arugula? She's 12. They like junk food. Given money to spend, they'll spend it. Next time, be more realistic about the sum of money you give her.