DH ate the chocolate he bought me

amother

Oleander

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:31 pm

CPenzias wrote:

My husband bought me an edible arrangement. Everyone takes from it. I don't mind. He thought of me and that matters most. But I'm not pregnant

If your policy is that everyone is welcome to help himself, that's fine, but that is clearly not OP's policy.

amother

Gold

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:37 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

What's your issue? You can't understand we all see the world differently? Oh please yourself. He clearly doesn't know his wife and he should have. Her feelings are valid and it's super weird to call it sweet.

I think its super weird your being so harsh on him. I know your trying to validate op but in doing so your fueling her anger towards her husband. I get shes annoyed I would probably be too if I was pregnant. But maybe she can see the humor in his impulsiveness and still his love for her and forgive him

zaq

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:39 pm

amother Narcissus wrote:

I still don’t see what is sweet about it. It was a gift he gave her. He should have asked. I think it’s weird he ate them without asking. I guess the rest of you have better relationships with your husbands.
When you get someone a gift it’s THEIRS. Of course if he asked I would share but it’s something he should ask.
It just loses its specialness otherwise I feel like.
That’s just how I see it but obviously I’m in the minority here.

What's the point of giving someone a gift if you're gonna take part of it back, and without even asking permission? It gives the impression that he really bought it because he wanted it but was too embarrassed to buy it for himself, so he presented it to dw under the guise of getting her a gift, with the intent of having some for himself. It cheapens the gift IMO, quite aside from the issue of boundaries.

Would you give someone a gift with the stipulation that you get to take back a portion of it?

amother

Ebony

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m just wondering if I’m being completely irrational. Yes, I realize there are much bigger issues in the world so don’t have at me. But seriously if your DH bought you a box of chocolates which you specifically requested as the ONLY gift you wanted for Mother’s Day and then snuck a few would you be bothered?

now this is a funny thread!
who wouldn't sneak some?! lol

but ye - I get it....

amother

Aqua

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:45 pm

amother Gold wrote:

I think people don't realize how bad it is to invalidate someone and paint the wrong doer as a nice innocent person. Maybe this works for you but it doesn't work for most people. It just stings.

amother

Cornsilk

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:45 pm

zaq wrote:

Matana Al Menas Lehachazir Smile

(bet he does that with his Lulav every year!)

I don't think that taking some of your wife's chocolates is a kind, thoughtful, mature or responsible thing to do.

I also don't think it's a major issue. So he's imperfect! He's human! Hopefully he'll do better next time.

Save the real frustration for the real stuff and let this one go.

In the meantime, a 3/4 full box of chocolates is still a gift. Appreciate it! (And if you need to, remind him that a full box of chocolates is even better. Or offer him a kiss for every chocolate you actually received. That might be an incentive for more self control next time...)

amother

Ebony

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:45 pm

amother Azalea wrote:

It's sweet because it's such a boyish thing to do.
And honestly, I don't see it as a lack of boundaries, it's not like he meant any harm. DH once forgot that he ate the entire box of marzipan that he brought me. He proudly presented me with it, I excitedly opened it, and out came the wrappers Wink

It was a delicious moment!!!!

oh no!

oh well.....

amother

Aqua

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:46 pm

amother Gold wrote:

I'm sure her marriage isn't falling apart over this. Have more faith in her. She's upset, he did something selfish, we can be honest about the facts. No one is fueling anything. Just helping her process her very real feelings about facts.

amother

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:47 pm

amother Gold wrote:

Honestly, I’m not angry just annoyed. It’s the principal for me that when you buy a gift for someone it’s theirs.

Light1234

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

Honestly, I’m not angry just annoyed. It’s the principal for me that when you buy a gift for someone it’s theirs.

True.
I think men feel they have a right to eat everything because they're men. I see it in my male relatives. Like they have first dibs. Annoying

amother

Narcissus

Mon, May 13 2024, 10:50 pm

zaq wrote:

Exactly.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Mon, May 13 2024, 11:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

No. And it goes both ways.
But you are not me, and if you are bothered, tell him, make him celebrate Mothers Day again and bring you another box just for you and he can buy for himself a box to celebrate Fathers Day.

You are married to a human, not a robot. Flaws and all...

B'Syata D'Shmya

Mon, May 13 2024, 11:05 pm

Light1234 wrote:

True.
I think men feel they have a right to eat everything because they're men. I see it in my male relatives. Like they have first dibs. Annoying

Impulsivity is related to testosterone levels. So consider yourself as having a healthy husband.
See this for reference:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/p.....2699/