Where do I start? | Imamother

sky

Wed, Oct 29 2008, 10:28 am

Renting an apartment we found was the cheapest plus we had a kitchen and did not have to eat out at all which saved us a huge amount of money. We bought pitas and spreads for lunch, and milk and cereal and bread for breakfast. Shabbos we bought most of the food but it came out much cheaper then eating in a hotel restaurant and it was nicer then eating in a small hotel room.

Check out ads for holiday rentals in the back of the Hamodia. Most Holiday rentals come with clean towels every 2 days and they will change your linen once a week.

mugsisme

Wed, Oct 29 2008, 11:29 pm

This is a great help. Dh and I are going to look through this all.

I mentioned this to my LOR, and he said he is highly against it. I need to talk to him more, but I am so surprised he said it. I tried calling my mashpia several times tonight, but got no answer.

I will let you know when the plans for our visit finalize. Meanwhile I still have a son who is learning there.

Marion

Wed, Oct 29 2008, 11:31 pm

mugsisme wrote:

He's highly against what?

hila

Thu, Oct 30 2008, 1:50 am

mugsisme wrote:

Us moving. He said, don't do it.

I see this as a small town Rav reaction.

I have heard it before from other palces. Let's face it small town jewish America is dying. ANy community you go to will tell you that they aer a "young growing community" but when you look at teh numbers you see the opposite. Shuls are combinign because they have so few members. the Jewish schools, if there is one, accept non-Jewsih kids, and the number of shomer shabbat families can often be counted on one hand.
If one Shomer shabbat family leaves then the community is lacking.
So it is in the Rav's interest to keep any failies he can in the community.

And in some way he is right. I t is not easy to leave your home your house and come to the promised land (see parshat Lech Lecha for teh first time it was done).

But if you are coming for the right reasons, rather than running awy from something, and you are prepared to change your ways, tehn come soon, now !

catonmylap

Thu, Oct 30 2008, 3:15 am

hila wrote:

mugsisme wrote:

Us moving. He said, don't do it.

Interesting....when we first got to the small town we were on shlichut in, we couldn't understand why the former Rabbonim had pushed everyone away to larger communities, thinking if they all stayed, that the community would be so much stronger. Then we saw that we took the same approach. If someone wanted to be frum, we encouraged them to move to a stronger community to save themselves. We gave up on the idea that we could really build something there (though I still think they needed a kollel to make progress, which wasn't going to happen).

Maybe the question to come back with--is are you saying we should stay because it is better for us or better for the community?

hila

Thu, Oct 30 2008, 3:42 am

I happen to be a bit familiar with several smaller communites. (dh comes from one of them). when we go visit - about every 2 years the signs of deterioisation are so clear.
Shuls are closing, or amalgamating, as the beautiful spacious buildings built for congregations of 500+ on a shabbat were struggling to get 30 on a shabbat morning, and some of those are question marks as to their minyan making abilities.
The president of this one so called orthodox shul drives up to the courtyard on shabbat. The (Chabad) Rav does his best, but the majority of the shul is over 65. the only kids are the Rav's and he busses them to Chinuch far away. The teenagers have turned into adults and moved away.

Now I am describing 2 places that I have come to know. I understand that there are many others in a similar situation.

I am not sure this is a bad thing. It IS sad for the old folk who feel they cant move away from their familiar old town.

But to use a "psak" to keep teh community going is questionable.

But I do not know the OP's actual situation.

My comments are from others made to my dh and others in the last few years by Rabbanim with a view to keeping the community together.
(One person I know was married to a non-jew, became frum and wanted to divorce his non_jewish wife. the Rav told hiim not to divorce- just live with the situation. he was not the only person in his small town in this situation. BH the person listened to another Rav, and divorced, made aliya and is now happily married to a Jewish wife with kids)