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-> Judaism
Inspired
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 Wed, Nov 05 2008, 5:38 am
| drumjj wrote: | | why is it a contradiction to not use a white table cloth and cover her hair? |
I don't get it either.
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drumjj
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Wed, Nov 05 2008, 5:40 am
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I was thinking maybe its my pregnancy brain that is just not functioning today. im so bored and tired I cant be bothered doing anything but fed up of not moving and thought maybe my brain was just not understanding. im glad to see its just not me
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meirav
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Wed, Nov 05 2008, 5:47 am
The whole white tablecloth thing is just a reference to the silly questions people ask in checking references for shidduchim.
Just for the record, I do think some of those questions (like questions about clothing, for example) have a tachlis, because although I don't think less of people for doing certain things or wearing certain things, I may not want my child marrying them. For example, we are Chassidish, and assuming my sonny boy turns out like his father, I wouldn't want him to marry someone whose father wears a knitted kippa, unless the girl is more chareidi than her family. Not because I have issues with knitted kippa wearers, but that is not the type we would be looking for, and the FIL obviously identifies with DL. Ditto for Litvish, Sephardi, MO...
I have all kinds of friends, and love meeting new people, but don't think that for the sake of tolerance you need to marry someone not your type.
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Ruchel
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Wed, Nov 05 2008, 10:13 am
No, we don't do stuff differently because of the community.
I didn't stop covering my hair. My husband didn't stop wearing a white shirt. We still make the kiddush our way, even though I remember we attended a "full shabbes" at the shul and I was sitting, when all the other wives were standing. Etc, etc, etc.
If I lived in a community where tights where needed, I also would not change my ways unless I felt like adding a chumra. Today people come and go. They're from all around Europe, North Africa, Middle East, Israeli. Minhag ha makom in France? please. Only in a few, closed communities where I would never live anyway.
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meirav
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Sun, Nov 09 2008, 3:07 am
The Rambam writes that people are naturally inclined to follow the actions of people around them, and therefore we should live around good people.
I would think the answer to the question is obvious.
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