how embarrassing | Imamother

ChossidMom

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 12:37 pm

Ruchel wrote:

People who pretend to be charedi should be better than that... such a turn off. BH they said it was a minority and I agree it must be really rare.

.

"Pretend" is a good word. not everyone who DRESSES like a yerei shamayim Jew IS a yerei shamayim Jew.

shosh

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 4:44 pm

I think these stories blow things out of proportion. While I'm sure there are plenty of young Chassidim who look outside their community and do get interested in the outside world, there are many more who are happy with that kind of life.

And, like Octopus noted above, why make this Yossi the victim in his divorce story? The biggest victims are his five kids. And what about his wife? Is it her fault? If he was so miserable, he should have gotten some type of counseling or gotten out. There is no excuse for trawling the Internet or taking advantage of, as they termed it, Chassidic women in unhappy marriages. He sounds like an out and out creep to me.

More building up a storm in teacup to make frum pple look like freaks!

lubaussie

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 5:46 pm

Ruchel wrote:

People who pretend to be charedi should be better than that... such a turn off. BH they said it was a minority and I agree it must be really rare.

I also have a hard time feeling sympathy or understanding. So saying NO to your parents' pressure is hard, but breaking someone's life (not even mentioning your relationship to hashem) is easy?? woah. These people aren't "cornered" they had the choice to refuse the match, or later to divorce. Of course it's easier to misbehave.

sarahnurit

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 5:59 pm

Chava wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

I agree.
Sometimes they make it seem as if they are slaves of their parents...

downsyndrome

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 9:20 pm

3Qts wrote:

I know who "Leah" is as I am sure alot of you people know..

Is 'Leah' this summer's tsadaykus from New York magazine?

chavamom

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 9:20 pm

Quote:

The CBS Story
by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

11/25/08

Monday evening, as the CBS News story on infidelity hit the Internet, I received a flood of emails asking for my reaction to it. Although the broader issue which this story represents is not something that can be casually responded to, my short answer is that we need far more “When” and a lot less, “If.”

I am in middle of writing a series of columns in Mishpacha Magazine on the perils of overly sheltering children. The first column was titled, Egy, Kettö, Három -- Analyzing the Wisdom of Overly Sheltering Our Children and the second, “If and When” is in this week’s issue.

From my vantage point, sheltering children is not wrong. We should continue to reasonably protect them from the ills of society as much as we can. But as the same time, with the explosion of technology, all the rules are changing. Unfortunately, individuals have been committing indiscretions since the beginning of time. Read through any of the sheila-and-teshuva seforim over the last 400 years, and you will see how our great leaders responded to incidents similar to what the CBS story conveys. But the Internet accelerates and amplifies everything. The Internet didn’t create immorality – it only facilitates this behavior in a way unthinkable 10 years ago. Likewise, sheltering our children didn’t create immorality – but sheltering them will clearly not be enough to prevent it moving forward. To properly respond to these challenges, we will need to think long and hard about a multi-pronged approach to our new reality. Please read the linked columns for a more comprehensive treatment of these important issues.

I have been writing about the overall challenges of the Internet, Walmart is Coming, and the phenomenon of frum, spiritually hollow adults who graduated from our mosdos, (see All Dressed Up With Nowhere To Go) for some time now. In fact, the very first column I wrote (Proactively Addressing the Chinuch Challenges of Our Generation)in the 35-and-counting series of columns more than two years ago in Mishpacha and the column entitled, Seven, Eight, Nine, ... pretty much spell out my greatest fears; in fact it has gotten far worse since then.

If there is any positive outcome that can be had from this horrible chilul Hashem, it would be that we engage in a serious cheshbon hanefesh about the importance of the need to teach hashkafah – WHY to be observant – with as much or more importance attached to it as gemarah and chumash, (see Rambam or Ra'avid and Educated Consumers). We need to teach our children about the beauty of our Torah life, (see Elevator Pitch) not be busy with banning this and ‘assering’ that. To quote a great line from a mother who was looking for a high school for her son (Kiruv For Our Children), “Rabbi, my son needs a salesmen, not a policeman.”

We also need to stop the counter productive model we have created; perpetuating an elitist system that shreds ‘average’ children and go back to the curriculum I was raised with – before we lost our sense of balance, trying to raise gedolim instead of children. We should be Rolling out the Welcome Mat and lowering the pressure for ‘average’ kids like Yossi (see Pulling in the Gangplank). And we should listen – really listen, to our kids (see Exit Interviews) and design schools with programs that match their ‘normal’ needs.

As the CBS story was primarily about the heimish community, I would be remiss if I did not mention how toxic ‘machlokes’ is to the ruchniyus of our children. I have heard this from hundreds of bachurim and yungeleit – it is often the first thing they mention when they talk about why they have left the fold – or stay despite their disillusionment. I sincerely believe that cooler heads would prevail and more shalom would exist, if everyone heard the cynical remarks that our children make about the various ‘machlokes.’

I pray that we have the courage to change. As a great thinker once said, “We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

Atali

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 9:23 pm

downsyndrome wrote:

3Qts wrote:

I know who "Leah" is as I am sure alot of you people know..

Is 'Leah' this summer's tsadaykus from New York magazine?

No, Gitty was 23 and had one child and this "Leah" is 20 and has two children.

greenfire

Tue, Nov 25 2008, 9:37 pm

thank-you chavamom ... at least there is someone trying to be proactive ...

MommyLuv

Wed, Nov 26 2008, 12:19 pm

I think it was pathetic that the protagonists were willing to go on camera to share their stories but wanted to be kept private at the same time.

What did they want to gain by telling the world they had extramarital affairs, and why is a crisis of faith an excuse to sleep around?

If they wanted to protect their kids, why agree to turn this public?

It's not a very intelligent news story, imo. not sure why it made the news at all???