despratly need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Classicookie

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 11:14 am

my dd is 3 I have been trying the tolit since the summer on and off bec she was scared I tried it all going diperless she pees herself and takes off pants and says its wet I try sting with her there tolit potty trued videos every thing I can think of and all she says is I make in my diper plese help nothing I have tried worked I am very tolrent and I have let her have 3 acendents till we put the diper back on

su7kids

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 11:46 am

Back off. Put her back in diapers, don't say a word about it, just calm down and back off. If she asks to go to the toilet, calmly say "ok" but put the diapers back. She may not be ready. Honestly, I had an almost 4 year old be trained, when he was ready, in 2 days.

She's not ready and she's getting your attention, positive or negative. Just put her back in diapers and do it calmly, say nothing, no sarcasm, no "ok, we're not doing this now" just do it, and give her a couple of months. Then, when you do it again, keep it calm and matter of fact, and I'm sure it will work, when she's ready.

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 11:59 am

I agree that you should back off and drop the whole thing for a while. About 3 months.
In the meantime, plan solid strategies for how you will toilet train your daughter when the 3 months are up.
Good luck!

Mommeeeeeeee!

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 12:16 pm

ITA - you have gotten stuck in a bad cycle and you need to end it ASAP so you can start fresh from the beginning when the time comes. I'd say give it at LEAST 2 months, and don't talk about it or make any mention at all about the whole thing during that time. Pretend potty training doesn't exist, at least as far as dd is concerned.

mltjm

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 4:08 pm

BTW- three accidents is NOT a lot for potty training.

But it does sound like a bad cycle. Back off for a little while, and then put her in underwear. Don't give in after that. Yes, you might have to clean up after her for a few days, but after that she will get the idea that you're not giving, and stop making in her pants so you will give her back the diapers.

MamO3

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 4:32 pm

You're giving her mixed messages. The key to successful toilet training is perserverance. 3 accidents is not bad for starting out. I don't think you need to back off, just make sure you don't change from underpants to diapers, it confuses her.
She'll soon get the hang of it. 3 yo only have a few seconds of sensation before they actually need to go, slowly they begin to recognise the signs earlier. By putting her back into her diaper, she cannot tune into the feelings her body gets when she needs to go.
If she just does not get the whole concept, I found a good way of teaching them is with a doll that drinks and then makes. You could show her how the doll goes to toilet every time after she goes. She needs to look forward to going on the toilet as well, a lot of positive reinforcement might do the trick. Just make sure you're consistent and stick with the underpants not the diapers.
Hatzlacha!

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 4:45 pm

mltjm and Mam03, 3 accidents is not a lot.
But trying to train on and off since the summer is too much.
Letting the whole thing go for 3 months will allow OP to start from fresh.

Classicookie

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 8:08 pm

I think I shouldf clarfy I started trying in the summmer it was a no go so I did back off then tryed again in like dec when she started showing intresed and it did not happen now I know she is ready and is being stubbern bout it she knows she shold make in the tolit but she gose in the tolit she wants undwear but asks for a diper when she needs to make when she pees in her chlose she takes them off right away and say pp mommy so she needs that push now and I cant let her win and go back to dipers bec then it all a big game and she is still gona go diperless when she wants so I need to get her ptty trained in a fast happy no strss manner
I did tell her mommy cant by dipers any more and as much as I think its a wast I might try pull ups for school so at least its not a diper