baltimore- fitting in

amother

Thu, Mar 11 2010, 11:08 pm

amother wrote:

Also, former BaltiMoron here.
Before anything, do you know that in Baltimore there is minimal school busses? And no food given in school? And kids have different starting and finishing school hour, in the same school, according to their grades? And that the Kosher supermarket doesn't do home delivery?

It makes it kind of difficult as a day to day life. (Compared to New York)

Now, living in the above mentioned neighborhood (I admit super nice!) will add 10-15 minutes each way for any type of erran you will have to take care of.

Diversity is key in Balto. BUT, people tend to smile a lot and do no more.
Your friends will probably be your neighboors (if you are lucky).

People invite for Shabbos meals, specially if you don't have a lot of kids and that's about it.

I have been going to the same shul in Balto. for over a year and barely had one or two ladies talk to me (I am a very friendly person who smiles and says good shabbos to everyone).

As for the school - I hear a lot of negative feedback from both BY and Bnos. TA has a history of s-xual abuse and TI even worse. You can look up theawarnesscenter.com and look up TI (Torah Institute) Sad

I would strongly recommend Rambam.

If you are a stylish NewYorkers, people will probably laugh at you behind your back, specially if you are all dressed up. Long jeans skirts and snuds are the norm, sheitels mostly for work and Shabbos.
Short skirts and long falls and sheitels are not typical of middle aged Baltimoreans and will surely cause people to dismiss you.

Sorry to burst the bubble - Sad

OMG for a very friendly smiley person you sure seek out the negative. perhaps people see through your fake smile and this is why people aren't befriending you.

I don't know what neighborhood you live in or who you associate with but the the ~30 aged group has many that wear skirts, falls, sheitals, they may be seen as more "put together" but I don't think a/o is laughing at them behind their backs. if they look like they walkedout of hollywood then yes, but a nice put together person no.

the kosher supermarket doesn't do home delivery but giant food does and has a lot of kosher food. (of course you will pay for this...) btw the kosher supermarket is soon moving and going to be the biggest kosher supermarket in the nation. we dont have deliveries here because everyone has two cars. in ny there is no parking so ppl walk to the store and need to get things delivered.

I live near ranchleigh and it does not add 10-15 to errands. there is the quarry shops and the greenspring shopping center that has plenty of things. if you want to go to the park heights area then yes it will add 5 min. not 10-15.

the story in TAs s-x abuse case - the guy has been dead for 20 yrs now. I dont know much abt TI. but rambam is very modern. as far as complaints abt by and bnos...you can find things to complain about any school, they are both decent schools and very different.

anyway you should check it out for a shabbos, I would stay in the ranchleigh area and go to seidemans shul as mentioned above.

pen1276

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 12:48 am

Great response! I couldn't have put it better myself! Since I moved to Baltimore just over three years ago, I am STILL meeting new people all of the time. It is "out of town" however, it is big enough that it has so much diversity and lots to offer. But it's NOT NY. And I wasn't looking to move to NY - so that's why I came here. I live in the Pickwick area, which is adjacent to the Greenspring area and near Ranchleigh. Definitely look into those areas - it is more of a suburban feel to it. There are many shuls nearby - it all depends what you're looking for. It is easy to make friends - there are plenty of events and opportunities to do so. Very frequently invited out for Shabbos.
Good Luck!

Grace

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 3:51 am

amother wrote:

Also, former BaltiMoron here.

If you are a stylish NewYorkers, people will probably laugh at you behind your back, specially if you are all dressed up. Long jeans skirts and snuds are the norm, sheitels mostly for work and Shabbos.
Short skirts and long falls and sheitels are not typical of middle aged Baltimoreans and will surely cause people to dismiss you.

Ok I HAVE to DISAGREE very strongly with this comment - I lived in balty for a while and loved it yes it wasnt perfect BUT it was good. I was worried about very similar things to you when moving there.
In terms of the physicaly fitting in or 'materialisticly' I found there to be quite a few extremely fashionable/stylish women with their long flowing wigs from NY, I was suprised I thought people were more relaxed in MD!!...I went to a few things with my kid and the groups I went to were highly populated by this kind of crowd. NO ONE would be sniggering or laughing behind their backs and they were immaculate, georgous and NOT what you think of when you think Balty. lol I felt underdressed, they had their full face on, cute clothes basically relocated new yorkers. I wasnt friendly with this crowd b/c I myself am not that type of person but we always said hi to each other and made general chit chat. hope that helps

MrsDash

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 8:36 am

amother wrote:

Just wanted to add that the "s-xual abuse" you speak of has happened (happening) in Bais Yaakov and Rambam as well. Sadly, you will find this kind of thing happening almost everywhere around the world.

P.S. There are teachers in TA (& other schools) who have done certain "things" and they STILL teach at the school.

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 9:16 am

DefyGravity wrote:

amother wrote:

As a former BaltiMoron, I just wanted to advise the OP, not to have the attitude of comparing everything to NY.

The only thing I miss about NY are the restaurants. I don't miss circling for ages in order to find parking, cramped (overpriced) apartments, etc. It's SOOO nice to turn into my driveway and bring my groceries directly into the house. It's great to not have to add on extra hours to every excursion in order to find parking. I love getting into my car and not having to deal with public transportation. I feel like it's a much easier lifestyle here. It's nice to live in the suburbs AND still have a large diverse Jewish community.

Apartments like the ones in Pickwick DON'T exist in NY. And if they do, they'd cost an exorbitant amount. An apartment that comes with a dishwasher AND washer AND dryer? AND an eat-in kitchen with a large living room and dining room? I'll gladly compare NY to Baltimore ANY day.

op here- yes, I totally agree. these r things that im excited about!

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 9:21 am

amother wrote:

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 9:21 am

amother wrote:

I think the OP here has a valuable opinion and I think it is important for the original OP to know where she is heading too.
Who can tell better than others living/who lived in Baltimore?
Bringing the "negative" is in this case a realistic stand and I honestly don't understand WHY you are attaking the OP's caracter?
Oups, I forgot, this is amother.com

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 9:24 am

Grace wrote:

amother wrote:

op here- thanks grace. im wondering though- just like u moved, do you find that a lot of these "relocated new yorkers" are just transient? im thinking about permanently settling in balt.

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 9:40 am

amother wrote:

maybe bec. most of the negative is not true. ppl here are for the most part friendlier, the errands are not 10-15 min away, and the OP would not be made fun of for being dressed up here. etc.

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 9:54 am

amother wrote:

If you are a stylish
NewYorkers, people will probably laugh at you behind your back, specially if you are all dressed up. Long jeans skirts and snuds are the norm, sheitels mostly for work and Shabbos.
Short skirts and long falls and sheitels are not typical of middle aged Baltimoreans and will surely cause people to dismiss you.

Sorry to burst the bubble - Sad

op here- I can't say I am worried about the lack of bussing/home food delivery/school schedules. u did hit the nail on the head though about my main concern- in the oot community where I lived ppl made fun of me for the way that I dressed! can u elaborate on the problems u had with the girls schools?[/quote]

I am the OP who posted above info. The "Rabbi" of Beis Yaacov called Child Protection Services on me because my 8 years-old DD was arriving to school crying every morning.
She had a diagnozed school anxiety disorder, and was absolutely terrified of the mean girls, screaming teachers etc..
Mind you, a few weeks before that, I had organized and participated in a school meeting in BY, together with all parties involved, which included my daughter's therapist, to clarify and educate the school staff in regards to school related anxiety.
I AM THE ONE WHO INITIATED THE WEEKLY THERAPY FOR MY DAUGHTER!!!

I came out of the meeting hopeful and relieved, only to find out a few weeks later that WITHOUT EVEN CONSULTING WITH MY DD THERAPIST (of course I had signed all disclosure release forms etc..), this man went ahead and CALLED CHILD SERVICES ON ME!!!! (for neglect).
End of the story, when the DSS worker came to my house, she complimented me and my kids and ridiculed the claims.
But, the pain he inflicted on us is tremendous.

I have tried the other girls school too.
I found the teachers uptight, very narrow-minded, annoying, very conformed and super-uptight.
The atmosphere in both school is a mixture of high homework expectations, lot of blame on the parents, not enough professionalism, and high demand on the girls to fit exactly to the mold.

There is very little room if any for individualism, originality, acceptance and tolerance.

I have a friend whose DD is "full of life" BUT NOT ADD and was asked to pay $1,500 a month for a shadow (of course on top of school tuition)!!! That because the teacher didn't know how to keep that bright girl on stimulated and on task.

I honestly find it sad that a lot of good people are not aware of what goes on behind school walls.

Bullies are rampant and painful remarks make kids cry, for the laugher of others...should I continue or do you have enough?

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 10:08 am

Sorry, forgot to add a vital piece of information. While all that was going on with my daughter, her Hebrew teacher had the nerves to tell me "I don't think your daughter has an anxiety disorder!"
This is after the professional evaluation revealed that she did. I asked her if she held a degree in psychology and if she had any clue about our existing family history of anxiety?

She was so ...unprofessional, and oversteping her bounderies.

The English teacher told my DH that all my daughter needed was a bit of TLC, while her own teenager was at the time addicted to heroin. Sad.

By the way, Baltimore is extemely infested with DRUGS. Even the frum.
I have no clue about NY, yet I know it is everywhere, but in Baltimore you have "baby boomers" and all types Babale Tshuva (?) old hippies smoking marijuana together with their teenage kids!
They claim it is safer than if their kids would do it outside. there are "party houses" and the jewish organizations are aware of it and trying very hard to improve this terrible situation.

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 10:08 am

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 10:52 am

I'm from baltimore and went to school here. there are bullies here and everywhere...based on my friends in seminary stories from ny, monsey etc there are ppl everywhere (even ny shock

) that have bad experiences with their schools, teachers, kids, fitting the mold etc etc.

to the OP you should listen to what the posters say abt Bais yaakov and bnos yisrael but take it with a grain of salt knowing there are problems in every school everywhere if you just speak to the "right" person. also the fact that the rabbi called social services, he obviously felt the situation needed to be looked into for whatever reason. he isn't calling ss right and left for all the kids, so I'd imagine there was something he saw that warranted the call. if there was something going on with a child and all the staff ignored the situation that would be horrible too, so you can look at it and say atleast the staff was doing s/t for their worry of the wellbeing of the child instead of ignoring it. you are "nogeah bidavar" so I'm sure it's hard for you to see it this way...