Too Strict? | Imamother

simcha1000

Wed, Apr 07 2010, 1:26 am

I grew up in a very strict (but equally warm and loving) home, with a strong ties to eastern european values (all my grandparents are survivors from white russia and poland)....my point is that I was raised to behave well, eat politely, never contradict an adult (thet worked untill I hit 15!)...quite frankly to know my place amoung adults. Interestingly enough, my siblings and I never felt deprived because of the style, in a way we enjoyed the consistancy, and felt it gave us permission to be innocent children. As I grew up, I realised how differently some of my friends were raised, with much more american sensibilities.....My questions is do you believe it is apropriate to expect a high standart of propriety from your children, or do you prefer a looser approach?

Grandmama

Wed, Apr 07 2010, 1:34 am

simcha1000 wrote:

A lot has to do with how you were raised, and how much you liked being raised that way.
There is always a fine balance between the two approaches. In general, I feel if you pull a rubber band too tightly, it snaps. However, parents are usually going to raise their kids similar to the way they were raised, unless they make a conscious effort to change the things they want to change.
I was brought up without much discipline, and I did raise my kids with more discipline than I had.
But I also gave my kids opportunities that I never had. I also tried to lay off the guilt as much as possible.