spoinoff from It's just a frikkin' skirt!!!

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Spoinoff from It's just a frikkin' skirt!!!

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...how many of us lie on school applications or in our communities generally & have hidden items (like TV's behind bookcases or laptops under the bed)? I'm curious.

I NEVER lie...I don't have anything issur

19%

[ 21 ]

I NEVER lie...I'm open about what I have

43%

[ 47 ]

I NEVER lie...but I don't exactly advertise what I have

32%

[ 35 ]

I hide everything that would get me into trouble

[ 3 ]

I WILL lie & deny everything if asked

[ 3 ]

Total Votes : 109

bubby

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 12:35 pm

I was thinking.... Confused

Did I miss any options? Please feel free to be amother in your comments. No judgment!

Barbara

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 12:52 pm

You might want to ask people to say what type of community they live in. Eg -- I don't hide my computer. Then again, all communications with the school are via email, and all kids are expected to have internet available to them.

Mrs. XYZ

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 12:52 pm

You cant be amother here Wink

busydev

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 12:57 pm

Barbara wrote:

then in your case it would be I dont have anything isser... cuz you school doesnt assur things...

Raisin

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 1:01 pm

I wouldn't want to send to a school where I have to lie. I went to a school who catered to a no tv crowd but there were no rules about not owning them. Some kids had tv's, most didn't.

5S5Sr7z3

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 1:06 pm

Hee hee I enjoyed reading that post. No, I will not lie.

saw50st8

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 1:13 pm

Im with Barbara.

lkwdwife2009

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 1:18 pm

We have internet, red 'netflix' envelopes in the mailbox, and dress how we please, within the realms of tznius of course, and even if my skirts can sometimes be a little short, my clothing is always refined. B"H getting into school is a few years away and shouldnt be a problem as we have 'pull' in both boys and girls schools of our choice. However, at that time, if the school makes certain demands on us, we'll have to bite the bullet and get rid of whatever it is, and I will dress in accordance with their expectations. Until then, I believe in "when in Rome..." so wont advertise our doings, and neither of us are rebelious by nature but just like to do what we want and think is right regardless of where we live.

chocolate moose

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 1:25 pm

I didn't lie - I didn't want to send mixed messages to the kids.

yo'ma

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 1:32 pm

My kids school doesn't ask or I think even care. Then again, we're one fo the frummer families there, for sure than the teachers and administration. There is a more yeshivish school, but I would not, if possible, send my children to a school who tells ME what to do. If they tell my children what to do and not, I would support it, though.

bubby

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 2:36 pm

OK...I goofed! How can I change this to an appropriate forum that DOES allow for amother? Better yet, can someone do it for me?? embarrassed

sky

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 5:22 pm

I will not lie.

justcallmeima

Fri, Apr 30 2010, 5:45 pm

So grateful to Hashem that I don't live in a city where I have to deal with ridiculousness like that!!!!!!!!

ora_43

Sat, May 01 2010, 2:23 pm

You don't have an option for "my school doesn't look into parents' mitzva observance." I think that's not quite the same as "I'm totally open."

Isramom8

Sat, May 01 2010, 3:14 pm

I filled out a detailed form parents received about computer use in the family, and malied it directly to the assistant principal. I refused to sign that my info is not confidential. I wrote that he can call us with any questions.

shabbatiscoming

Sat, May 01 2010, 3:27 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

I didn't lie - I didn't want to send mixed messages to the kids.

I agree with this 100%. I see in so many families where the parents will do one thing and the school will ask for it another way and the children must be so confused. it is truly terrible. what are the parents try in to convey to their children? and what kind of chinuch is that from the parents?

I am not part of a community where the school would ask. I dont have any children of school age yet, but I am sure that my daughter will go to a school where internet will be part of life and we have a tv and would never hide it, but we also would not send to a school where a tv were forbidden.

freidasima

Sat, May 01 2010, 3:41 pm

My kids schools only wanted you to be frum, meaning shomer shabbos and kashrus and that was that. They obviously never asked about TH that's private....so everything goes. School of course has a basic dress code, at time even uniforms for the girls, but as for parents, everything goes. That's DL for you folks...

hadasa

Sat, May 01 2010, 4:53 pm

I have mixed feelings on this topic. On one hand, I can understand the school's desire to have kids of a certain type, e.g. not one who's going to tell other kids about movies if they don't watch them.
OTOH, I find it weird that the school has the "right" to control people's lives outside of school hours. I mean, isn't what I do in my own home my own business?

My daughter's school has a strict dress code, but I have no problem letting her wear longer skirts or sweaters with hoods when there's no school. If the school would comment on it, I might tell her to stop wearing them in that city, but I'd still let her wear them elsewhere.

shosh

Sat, May 01 2010, 5:13 pm

I have made no secret about being the sole supporter of seven kids from home with a computer that has Internet. When asked, I told the truth, which is - no computer time for the kids unless strictly monitored, no free access to the computer for the kids, as it's in my bedroom, which has a lock on the door, and a password on the computer. I have explained that I only have the Internet for parnossa reasons, which is true, and that at least I'm home for my kids. No babysitters. The kids have a mother. No computer - no parnossa and no mother at home. Which is better? I think so far most pple have understood the argument.

Dress is no problem.

And I don't have a TV.

Nothing else to lie about. I don't conform to any mould anymore being (horrors!) a single mother. So take me as you find me ...

Tablepoetry

Sat, May 01 2010, 8:27 pm

I voted I have nothing assur. Because I don't - I send to dati leumi schools in Israel, where computers, tv, etc are allowed (of course, if I decide to send to certain ulpanot that might change).

I once sent my kids to a school that was far stricter than we were. I always felt very uncomfortable when friends came over - I didn't want other parents to think I was corrupting their kids. Thankfully, I soon wised up and sent to a school I could live with in every sense.

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