baby seeing mother undressed

Hashems Princess

Mon, May 03 2010, 2:08 pm

I try from really early, so its not something they used too. My daughter who is 3 knows that she can only get undressed and dressed in the bathroom after her bath and not walk around.
I think when it comes to bf, maybe 1 year, Im not sure, but try put your ideas into place now in order to not have to deal with them later.

5S5Sr7z3

Mon, May 03 2010, 2:58 pm

I never cover my hair in the house, so that's not an issue for me. My 2 year old comes into the bathroom with me, and if it's only her at home and I need to change, I'll just do it. I guess it's more of a feeling - if you feel uncomfortable changing in front of a little kid, enforce it early on.

amother

Mon, May 03 2010, 4:48 pm

Hashems Princess wrote:

Isn't a woman considered a 'menika' till her baby is 2 yrs? Wasn't it common to breastfeed babies even till the age of 3?

chaylizi

Mon, May 03 2010, 6:32 pm

Is this really a question? A nursing baby nurses. They should not have to wear a strait jacket. I'm not sure how uncovered you are when you nurse. But I only uncover the pertinent area when I nurse, so my baby's options are rather limited. As for whether said baby/toddler sees you undressed, that would be personal preference. I personally would prefer that my 18 month old be in my presence (unless someone else is watching him or he's sleeping)so I can ascertain that he is safe & not destroying my house. I am not worried that he will 'remember' or 'notice' or even care what I look like. I don't uncover my hair when I nurse, because there is no reason to. So I don't get why that's a problem unless you are really asking if you can shower with your baby.

marina

Mon, May 03 2010, 7:50 pm

Quote:

I have fetal surgery to place a blindfold on my babies so they shouldn't, chalilah, see anything on the way out.

Posting as amother because I am an anav who hides my tzidkus

Amother, I wish I had parents like you. Who protected me from the evils of seeing my meals when they came in the form of a breast.

But I did not. And so, now I have no shame and I stare at my fridge in full nakedness.

It just sits there all big and white and full of milk. And other tasty treats. And I gaze at its loveliness so often. I am ashamed. Even despite my best resolve, I keep coming back, day after day. And sometimes I even open and reveal its inner chambers. But I probably shouldn't talk about that. Except with my therapist.

It also probably doesn't help that I placed the fridge in such a prominent place in my house. But it is all my mother's fault. She was not adequately modest.

SivanMom

Mon, May 03 2010, 8:08 pm

I think this is such an individual question, everyone has to do what feels right. DS is 3.5 and he knows to leave the room when I'm dressing. And that's been the rule for probably 3/4 to a year, though I may have been careful of it on my own before that. DD is 21 months and, like pp mentioned, I would rather in my room than out of it when I'm dressing. I don't know when I'll start having her leave, but so far I have no weird feelings about it. That's what I base it on, how I feel about it, no hard rule. As for them seeing my hair uncovered, I am (perhaps wrongly?) not careful about this, and once my covering is off for the night, it stays that way till I get dressed in the morning. My kids see me without a covering all the time. I switch from shaitel to snood in front of either of my kids.

As for nursing, I hope you meant an older child seeing you nurse a younger child, because otherwise your question is a bit interesting. Most people I know nurse in front of older kids, just covering as much as they can. There's a limit to what you can do if you want to nurse your child and raise the rest of your family. I haven't had this problem as my older one was a little kid when I was nursing my younger.

amother

Mon, May 03 2010, 9:19 pm

I'm sorry I have to ask this. But are people on this site NORMAL?????? It is so perverted to ask if your baby can see you when s/he nurses. This isn't frumkeit, this is narishkeit! The Shulchan Aruch says you should nurse until age 2 & you can until age 4 (or 5 if the child is sickly). You can't be frummer than the Torah. Adding mitzvos is an aveirah. Unless you can find me where it says that you should wear a burka when you nurse or your 10 month old will be aroused, you are making up values that simply do not exist. I find it terribly disturbing that women would prefer to deprive their children & themselves of the valuable period of breastfeeding, because you are falsely modest. Throw the tomatoes now. I'm ready for you.

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, May 03 2010, 9:29 pm

Um, no tomatoes. I'm a bit confused as well. Although the OP did not seem to be saying that she would stop nursing when the baby was "too old." I think she probably feels weird, let's say, if she comes out of the shower and is about to nurse - should she get dressed first, even though the baby is going to be seeing a "normally covered" part of her anyway? Or does it not matter? That's how I'm taking the question.

I do try to keep covered up in front of my two year old. And yes, that means my hair covered as well. If I were nursing him right now, I might feel differently, or I might not. And there have been times recently where he has seen me not tznius - for example, once he woke up SCREAMING at night and I was wearing a long t-shirt, but I was scared that he was cv's stuck in the crib bars or had crawled out and fallen and I was not going to take the time to get dressed right then.

I think no harm can come from trying to be tznius in front of even a small child - as long as you do it with seichel.

amother

Tue, May 04 2010, 12:15 am

I'm a new amother. I heard once that if you never let ur kids c ur hair you go straight to gad eden. I'd double check b4 believing but I try to b careful cuz gan eden immediately doesn't hurt-to say the least!!! The nursing is totally narishkeit cuz a woman is supposed to nurse and ur child doesn't hafta go blind when s/he has his/her meal.

Hadassah81

Tue, May 04 2010, 1:09 am

Oh well, guess gan eden will be a long wait for me.... shock

On a more serious note - an infant has no comprehension that a breast is anything other than a food source. Why on earth would there be an issue here. Likewise if you are feeding a toddler. And then, if you have a post-nursing age child of 3 or 4, as I did at one point, I didnt shoo her away when I was feeding her sibling. For me, the more important thing is HOW you deal with tzniut with youngsters, so they dont end up getting the wrong ideas about certain parts of the body.

On a less serious, more self-serving note - you can get some very tznius nursing shirts - I sell them to non-frum women as well as frum, they keep you covered except for the breast you are nursing from.

Besiyata Dishmaya

Tue, May 04 2010, 5:29 am

marina wrote:

Quote:

I have fetal surgery to place a blindfold on my babies so they shouldn't, chalilah, see anything on the way out.

Posting as amother because I am an anav who hides my tzidkus

Marina, I can't believe you're so gullible that you believed that anonymous poster.

chavamom

Tue, May 04 2010, 9:12 am

amother wrote:

I have fetal surgery to place a blindfold on my babies so they shouldn't, chalilah, see anything on the way out.

Posting as amother because I am an anav who hides my tzidkus.

Come on Marina, we know it's you. Your anivus shines through....

imaima

Tue, May 04 2010, 9:28 am

amother wrote:

well you have to die right away to go straight to gan eden!!!

Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, May 04 2010, 9:30 am

but by posting as amother, she would have made a perfect set up for herself to answer.

Good one Marina (if you really are that devious) You always have the guts to say what I wish I could but don't have the nerve.