Is cleaning help a luxury?

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Forum -> Household Management -> Budgeting & Bargains

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YW123

Mon, Aug 16 2010, 11:54 pm

If I am trying to cut back any non necessary expense, should I stop having my cleaning lady for the 2 and 1/2 hours a week (3 kids, ky"h)? I can't seem to make the decision....btw I am currently a SAHM, working 3 hours a day for DH. Would appreciate any opinions. Thanks girls!!

elf123

Tue, Aug 17 2010, 12:14 am

It really depends on YOU. I am also a SAHM, and if I had to let my cleaning lady go (once a week) I feel I would "lose it." At one point DH told me we couldn't afford it and to stop, so I said, fine. If I tell you I need therapy once a week, would you pay for it? He said, yes. So I said, well, I don't want therapy, I'll use the money for cleaning help! I was joking but not totally....I did not have a cleaning lady for a period of time, and I know how I felt then as compared to now that I do, and for me it's no contest. Again, it's really up to you. One person would rather have, for example, family pizza night once a week, or takeout twice a month, or whatever, while another person would rather spend that $ on cleaning help. I really feel it's a mental health type of thing. Is it a "necessity" like food or hot water? Obviously not. But only you can decide how important it is to you.

SplitPea

Tue, Aug 17 2010, 12:42 am

to answer your answer straight forward YES it is. My mother raised 5 kids without a single finger lifted from a cleaning lady 9even around holidays... working full time 40+/hours a week AND her house was so spotless you could literally eat off her floor. She spend all weekend cleaning.

Not saying everyone can do it. my house is not up to my mom's standards but YES its a WANT not a need.. as is a Gardner, going away for yt, meat on shabbos and during the week, CHICKEn during the week, FISH, (we eat parv most nights because of costs) an in home nanny (sending out is MUCh cheaper in most cases) So many things are WANTS and not needs... and ANY amount of cleaning help is a WANt not a need. I cleaned my house for pesach by myself 2 days after having a MC! The house was totally pesachdig 4 days later. Why did it do it? because I had NO CHOICE!

So it might not be something you are WILLING to cut (you might cut going out first or cut eating chicken during the week etc) its all up to you...

Mommy F.

Tue, Aug 17 2010, 6:19 am

I am at SAHM, I have 3 kids, and our cleaning lady come every week for 4 hours.
For me it's a necessity.
I never grew up with a cleaning lady when I was young btw.

suomynona

Tue, Aug 17 2010, 6:37 am

It's a luxury like many other things we do are luxuries.
You have to decide for yourself whether it's a luxury or necessity for you. And even if it's a luxury for you, the benefits you're getting might make it worth it.

Shopmiami49

Tue, Aug 17 2010, 6:56 am

SplitPea wrote:

It's not so black and white...every situation is different. Everyone has different sanity level, a different energy level, a different patience level, different amount of kids of various ages, etc. Just because in YOUR childhood home your mother did everything doesn't mean that you are able to do the same. And if you are able to do the same, it doesn't mean that your daughters will be able to do the same...and it doesn't mean that it's a luxury for OP. In her life, it could be a necessity.

I've also worked really hard when I've had no choice, I've suffered from it and all, but since I was "able" to do it, does that mean that it would be considered a luxury to get help? I am a hard worker, but I have limits, as done everyone. The only one who can really determine what is a NEED or a WANT is each person for themselves. Maybe there is a stigma on getting help as a luxury, but everyperson has to look at their own lives and their personal factors involved before making a decision between a want and need.

Liba

Tue, Aug 17 2010, 8:05 am

It certainly isn't black and white.

An hour of heavy cleaning would land me in the hospital. I get disability money to help pay for things that I can't do, like heavy cleaning.

I need my house clean to stay mentally okay, but I can't do it myself.

Can you physically do it? At what expense to your family?

Only you can know if it is a luxury or not.

Generally able bodied people with 2-3 kids who are SAHMs find it to be a luxury, but it depends on your energy, how high energy your children are, how big your house is, etc.

chocolate moose

Tue, Aug 17 2010, 8:12 am

I always worked full time. Never had any help, except for paper plates and disposable pans. DH always helped a lot.

Tablepoetry

Tue, Aug 17 2010, 8:18 am

Unless you are poverty level, you are probably enjoying some luxuries....internet, maybe tv, maybe vacation, maybe pizza night as someone mentioned, maybe coffee out with dh or girlfriends. Maybe big things like fixing up your home or little things like getting a facial once a month.

Most of us spend some money per month on things beyond food and shelter, which basically are your main 'needs'. Yes, I'd say cleaning help for a sahm is a 'luxury' in the sense that she could probably survive without it. That said, I love having weekly cleaning help (6 hrs at a time). I don't work full time, I could probably survive without it, but it would affect my quality of life drastically.

gottago

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 1:08 am

its a luxury but very high on many of our luxury lists. SO if you have to cut back, first cut other luxuries.
I stopped having a cleaning lady a few months ago. Then I realized that things were piling up because I clean a little here, a little there but not for 3 hours straight.
SO I told myself (and my dh and kids) I will be a cleaning lady for 3 hours every thursday. I pay myself about half what I was paying the cleaning. This way I save money, have a clean house and I have a little extra to spend on things for me.
As one friend put it "These ARE MY TOILET SCRUBBING EARRINGS"
BTW, I always thought this was a crazy idea but I find it really works to get me focused on cleanign and nothing else.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 1:25 am

its not a luxury if it helps you stay sane.

I know that before we moved to our current location we had a guy come for 2 hours once a week and sponja the floors, clean the bathrooms, that sort of thing, and even though I was home with my daughter, it was something that was needed because it never got done otherwise and we felt like we were living in a dump.

it made both myself and my husband feel better and so it was not a luxury in our case.

obviously if it is something that you can not afford, then that is another story, but if you can and it helps you in any way, then I say it is not a luxury.

c.c.cookie

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 1:30 am

I wouldn't call it a luxury, since you're not taking cleaning help so that you can sit with your feet up and read a book. Otoh, it's not strictly a necessity either. If you can't afford it, you can definitely manage w/o one, even if "managing" means not having your house as clean as you'd like it.

Aidelmom

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 2:18 am

I haven't read the whole thread. I think it is a luxury - it's not part of the food clothing and shelter which are the basic needs of life. ok if a person will go insane without it, that's something else.

There is always the choice of living in a mess - though I can't say it's easy.

life'sgreat

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 9:57 am

2.5 hours a week - what does she do? Heavy cleaning that's hard for you to do?

I don't have a cleaning lady, but just today my sister asked me if I want her cleaning lady for 4 hours and I took her to do the work that's practically impossible for me to do due to back problems. So she's polishing my silver for YT and other such stuff.

Pickle Lady

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 10:16 am

Not if you are married to a South African. Smile

Chayalle

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 10:18 am

I think it depends on the situation.

For myself, I don't currently have cleaning help, but whenever I've been pg I got help for like 2-3 hours a week, to do the heavy cleaning. Somehow we managed when it was really needed.

At other times, I have a system for cleaning that works for me. I can't say I wouldn't rather sit on the couch and put my feet up, but B"H I manage. DH pitches in too, which is a plus.

Basimcha

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 11:43 am

Every situation is different. I personally feel money on cleaning help is well spend!!! I find myself being much calmer to the kids and being able to play with them more. I have a busy house bh. However, if you can manage cleaning not on your childrens expense good for you!

life'sgreat

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 11:50 am

One other thing to keep in mind is - who you personally are, and what your strengths are.

If you struggle keeping house on a daily basis and that makes you a very nervous, helpless mother, or if your husband's really bothered by the mess, then cleaning help is higher on the list for you than for someone that usually has it all together, can be organized and manages well.

myboys

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 12:19 pm

The answer varies in each person/family. What's important to one, may not be important to another. It takes a lot to take care for a family. For me, cleaning help is not a luxury, it's a necessity! Smile

YALT

Wed, Aug 25 2010, 12:38 pm

Since everyone seems to be writing "FACTS", let me explain to you what is the difference between fact and opinion.

A fact is something that is true or can be proven.
An opinion is your feelings or how someone else feels about a particular topic.

Some women are capable to cope without cleaning help.
Some women are able to cope without, but they will be MORE overwhelmed than had they had the extra help.
Some women are not able to cope without cleaning help whatsoever.
Some women have their facts and opinions mixed up.

Does that make "cleaning help = need or want?" - a matter of fact? or opinion?

I believe it is a matter of opinion, and only each individual can answer that for herself. But she does need to be honest with herself.

Now let me tell you what IS a fact.
When I mop my floor, I get allergies.
The allergies turn into asthma.
Asthma means Ineed to go onto meds.
Allergies puts me out of commission.
Copay for meds is $30.

Now add that all together:
I have 2 choices:
a) Sunday: wash floor Sunday. allergies start. can't deal with kids by evening.
Monday: still can't cope with kids. but now asthma has kicked in. go to dr. start meds.
Tuesday: getting better.
Wednesday - ready to get up & go again. But my house & kids are disaster after being neglected for 2 days. Cost out of pocket: $20 (dr) + $30 (copay)
But my floor was washed 3 days ago.

b) Get a cleaning lady to wash my floors for me. They don't come for less than 3 hours, so I spend $30
Rest of week, I can deal with kids, and regular cleanup.
Cost out of pocket: $30

Now, please give me your OPINION - is it a FACT that cleaning help is a WANT? Or is it an OPINION?

And by the way, there must be atleast 5 threads like this.

Last edited by YALT on Wed, Aug 25 2010, 12:43 pm; edited 2 times in total

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