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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
Basimcha
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 Thu, Oct 21 2010, 2:06 pm
| amother wrote: | | I can't help but wonder if my 3 yo dd is stupid. I know it sounds mean, but she doesn't know her ABC's yet (she can sing them but can't recognize anything that isn't an "N" or "T" b/c that's the first letter in her name and her sister's name), and doesn't recognize numbers yet. this morning when I asked her which sippy cup of milk was hers she said" the blue one" (she was in the playroom and I was in the kitchen) but there was no blue one, one was pink and one was yellow ( 1 for her and 1 for her sister). I told her that there is no blue. so when she came to the kitchen, she looked at the cups and said the pink one. usually the pink one is for her sister so I asked her older sister and she said that the pink one was hers, not my 3 yo's. why would she just make that up? she wasn't saying it like she was playing around. she was serious. also, I tell her things one day and she forgets the next day. things that I tell her every day, like before she goes to bed I always tell her not to wake me up in the morning to blow her nose, she can do it herself. over and over I tell her, but yet she says that she didn't know that when I tell her in the morning when she woke me up to blow her nose. is this typical of a 3 yo? is she just mentally a little behind? the thing is that she's smart in other ways.she does this in other ways as well and it drives me NUTS!! |
Firstly never ever label kids!! Definetly never use such negative adjectives as stupid. You sound like you expect of her a lot. Have you taught her the ABC's and she doesnt know it-or you expect a 3 year old to know it on her own? About waking you up in the morning to help her blow her nose-perhaps she needs your company and that's just an excuse that she didnt remember you warned her last night. I dont really see any issues with her. However, I would definetly be more careful with the words you use.
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amother
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 2:22 pm
Your daughter sounds similar to my son who seems to have learning problems but none that are easily pinned down. We also wonder from time to time if he is dumb or brilliant but have generally decided not to focus on it. My ds is 5 and seems to have trouble retaining info and generalizing it to other areas in his life. ie. we taught him colors with a lego set but then we had to teach him colors again with the clics and then with different colored fruits and so on until it finally clicked. Also, with actual behaviors, I can tell him not to make noise in the living room bec. the baby will wake up and he will listen. He is a really sweet kid. But 5 min later he will start dancing and clapping in the living room - RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME - with such uninhibited joy and excitement that I know he really forgot that I told him not to do this JUST 5 MINUTES AGO. This happens even if I warn him that there will be a time out - which he hates. If I do consequence him he reacts with a bewildered lost look. I truly believe he doesn't understand.
He started speaking after 2 yrs old and we had him evaluated extensively. In some testing he performed very well and in some cases not as well. We were told by one doctor that he had a very mild form of PDD. We were told by another that he was perfectly fine.
We took him for OT for 2 years and we worked with sensory integration in the house and now we have decided to just let it go. He was left back in Kindergarden so he is just starting to learn Kriah. We practice with him every day and it is a struggle but he is keeping up and even doing well. It seems that this is a fairly common phenomenon and I know 2 women who put their children into special schools because of exactly this indefinable problem. B"H we are not yet at that point and I hope we won't get there. My son is the middle child of a whole bunch of boys and I would hate to put him into a different school.
The point of all my rambling is that, in my experience, a mother who thinks her child may have a learning problem is usually right. I don't know if it's the right thing to start with evals and therapies or not. I don't know if you should spend hours "catching her up" or not. The only thing I do know is that awareness is really half of the solution. If you know there may be a problem you can hopefully catch it before it starts to impact her too much and seal with it then.
Good Luck!
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HindaRochel
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 2:26 pm
She's 3.
Some 3s know their ABCs some don't.
Some 3s know their numbers and colors, some don't.
Is she developmentally behind? For that you need a doctor who can evaluate her.
But I think she is probably fine.
In terms of colors, make a game. Draw color cards or buy one of those color card sets and see if she can find the same color that you have in your hand. Then say "look, we both have a (name the color). Can you find the (name another color). If she can't match the colors up then it is possible she is color blind...unusual but not impossible for a girl.
Many 3s only know the letters of their names. You can move that along a bit by making this a game as well... get Dr. Suess's Big A little a book...cute and fun to read...Make an A day and color in Aa pictures etc. BUT DO NOT FEEL OBLIGATED do this only if you want to and you can make it a fun exciting game that SHE WANTS to play...ok...not yelling emphasizing.
At What Age
They list 5.
AND for one final little piece of information...some schools, Waldorf based I believe, do not start teaching letters until age 6. LETTERS. (Waldorf 1rst grade is age 6-7.)
I think it makes more sense. Many issues that parents have with children aren't issues if the child is given a bit more time.
Relax. By 18 most kids are on about the same level.
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zipporah
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 2:30 pm
| amother wrote: | | zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | amother wrote: | | I can't help but wonder if my 3 yo dd is stupid. I know it sounds mean, but she doesn't know her ABC's yet (she can sing them but can't recognize anything that isn't an "N" or "T" b/c that's the first letter in her name and her sister's name), and doesn't recognize numbers yet. this morning when I asked her which sippy cup of milk was hers she said" the blue one" (she was in the playroom and I was in the kitchen) but there was no blue one, one was pink and one was yellow ( 1 for her and 1 for her sister). I told her that there is no blue. so when she came to the kitchen, she looked at the cups and said the pink one. usually the pink one is for her sister so I asked her older sister and she said that the pink one was hers, not my 3 yo's. why would she just make that up? she wasn't saying it like she was playing around. she was serious. also, I tell her things one day and she forgets the next day. things that I tell her every day, like before she goes to bed I always tell her not to wake me up in the morning to blow her nose, she can do it herself. over and over I tell her, but yet she says that she didn't know that when I tell her in the morning when she woke me up to blow her nose. is this typical of a 3 yo? is she just mentally a little behind? the thing is that she's smart in other ways.she does this in other ways as well and it drives me NUTS!! |
I am biting my tongue here, and I think you've gotten to much sympathy from posters on here considering how aweful you sound asking if your DD is "stupid" and titling your post with that word.
I wont even discuss whether DD is on track because that is so not the problem.
I think whatever concerns you have about her intellegence and acting inappropriately, you need to turn around and ask about YOURSELF.
Dont you ever use the word stupid to describe a toddler, and even more so, when later in the same post you wonder if she is mentally behind. What planet do you come from that you could call a mentally slow child, or any child, stupid, for being behind in learning?
I am utterly disgusted. I hope your DD has some reliable adults to look after her well being. |
That's not amother protocol. You criticize under your own name.
I think most of us realized she was saying it here so she didn't say it to her. It's called venting. So we just offered advice, and let it go.
I hope your venting is taken in the same vein. |
You misunderstand. I dont think its only a problem if she asks if her toddler s stupid to her face. I think it is a problem that she thinks/speaks that way even behind her back. That is not "venting" that is unhealthy. |
Amother criticism is as good as the name of the person who gives it. Did you read the box that comes up when you select amother? If you need to say anything negative, do it as yourself. And it sounds very nice not to think mean things about your kids, But for all we know, there may be 100 different things going on, and she posted without thinking it through.
*Bad Mommy*
When DD1 broke the string of fake pearls I bought to wear the first time I met DH's parents, I was thinking some pretty unpleasant things for a few minutes. If I had called a friend and tried to talk about and got a lecture about labeling vs. a sympathetic ear, that would have wound me up not calmed me down. But, whatever...
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amother
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 3:14 pm
| zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | amother wrote: | | I can't help but wonder if my 3 yo dd is stupid. I know it sounds mean, but she doesn't know her ABC's yet (she can sing them but can't recognize anything that isn't an "N" or "T" b/c that's the first letter in her name and her sister's name), and doesn't recognize numbers yet. this morning when I asked her which sippy cup of milk was hers she said" the blue one" (she was in the playroom and I was in the kitchen) but there was no blue one, one was pink and one was yellow ( 1 for her and 1 for her sister). I told her that there is no blue. so when she came to the kitchen, she looked at the cups and said the pink one. usually the pink one is for her sister so I asked her older sister and she said that the pink one was hers, not my 3 yo's. why would she just make that up? she wasn't saying it like she was playing around. she was serious. also, I tell her things one day and she forgets the next day. things that I tell her every day, like before she goes to bed I always tell her not to wake me up in the morning to blow her nose, she can do it herself. over and over I tell her, but yet she says that she didn't know that when I tell her in the morning when she woke me up to blow her nose. is this typical of a 3 yo? is she just mentally a little behind? the thing is that she's smart in other ways.she does this in other ways as well and it drives me NUTS!! |
I am biting my tongue here, and I think you've gotten to much sympathy from posters on here considering how aweful you sound asking if your DD is "stupid" and titling your post with that word.
I wont even discuss whether DD is on track because that is so not the problem.
I think whatever concerns you have about her intellegence and acting inappropriately, you need to turn around and ask about YOURSELF.
Dont you ever use the word stupid to describe a toddler, and even more so, when later in the same post you wonder if she is mentally behind. What planet do you come from that you could call a mentally slow child, or any child, stupid, for being behind in learning?
I am utterly disgusted. I hope your DD has some reliable adults to look after her well being. |
That's not amother protocol. You criticize under your own name.
I think most of us realized she was saying it here so she didn't say it to her. It's called venting. So we just offered advice, and let it go.
I hope your venting is taken in the same vein. |
You misunderstand. I dont think its only a problem if she asks if her toddler s stupid to her face. I think it is a problem that she thinks/speaks that way even behind her back. That is not "venting" that is unhealthy. |
Amother criticism is as good as the name of the person who gives it. Did you read the box that comes up when you select amother? If you need to say anything negative, do it as yourself. And it sounds very nice not to think mean things about your kids, But for all we know, there may be 100 different things going on, and she posted without thinking it through.
*Bad Mommy*
When DD1 broke the string of fake pearls I bought to wear the first time I met DH's parents, I was thinking some pretty unpleasant things for a few minutes. If I had called a friend and tried to talk about and got a lecture about labeling vs. a sympathetic ear, that would have wound me up not calmed me down. But, whatever... |
Really? In my mind there is no ambiguity here. I didnt say "dont think mean things about your kids" where did you even get that?
I find it horrifying to use the word "stupid" to describe a child who may have developmental delay. Plain and simple.
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zipporah
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 3:21 pm
| amother wrote: | | zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | amother wrote: | | I can't help but wonder if my 3 yo dd is stupid. I know it sounds mean, but she doesn't know her ABC's yet (she can sing them but can't recognize anything that isn't an "N" or "T" b/c that's the first letter in her name and her sister's name), and doesn't recognize numbers yet. this morning when I asked her which sippy cup of milk was hers she said" the blue one" (she was in the playroom and I was in the kitchen) but there was no blue one, one was pink and one was yellow ( 1 for her and 1 for her sister). I told her that there is no blue. so when she came to the kitchen, she looked at the cups and said the pink one. usually the pink one is for her sister so I asked her older sister and she said that the pink one was hers, not my 3 yo's. why would she just make that up? she wasn't saying it like she was playing around. she was serious. also, I tell her things one day and she forgets the next day. things that I tell her every day, like before she goes to bed I always tell her not to wake me up in the morning to blow her nose, she can do it herself. over and over I tell her, but yet she says that she didn't know that when I tell her in the morning when she woke me up to blow her nose. is this typical of a 3 yo? is she just mentally a little behind? the thing is that she's smart in other ways.she does this in other ways as well and it drives me NUTS!! |
I am biting my tongue here, and I think you've gotten to much sympathy from posters on here considering how aweful you sound asking if your DD is "stupid" and titling your post with that word.
I wont even discuss whether DD is on track because that is so not the problem.
I think whatever concerns you have about her intellegence and acting inappropriately, you need to turn around and ask about YOURSELF.
Dont you ever use the word stupid to describe a toddler, and even more so, when later in the same post you wonder if she is mentally behind. What planet do you come from that you could call a mentally slow child, or any child, stupid, for being behind in learning?
I am utterly disgusted. I hope your DD has some reliable adults to look after her well being. |
That's not amother protocol. You criticize under your own name.
I think most of us realized she was saying it here so she didn't say it to her. It's called venting. So we just offered advice, and let it go.
I hope your venting is taken in the same vein. |
You misunderstand. I dont think its only a problem if she asks if her toddler s stupid to her face. I think it is a problem that she thinks/speaks that way even behind her back. That is not "venting" that is unhealthy. |
Amother criticism is as good as the name of the person who gives it. Did you read the box that comes up when you select amother? If you need to say anything negative, do it as yourself. And it sounds very nice not to think mean things about your kids, But for all we know, there may be 100 different things going on, and she posted without thinking it through.
*Bad Mommy*
When DD1 broke the string of fake pearls I bought to wear the first time I met DH's parents, I was thinking some pretty unpleasant things for a few minutes. If I had called a friend and tried to talk about and got a lecture about labeling vs. a sympathetic ear, that would have wound me up not calmed me down. But, whatever... |
Really? In my mind there is no ambiguity here. I didnt say "dont think mean things about your kids" where did you even get that?
I find it horrifying to use the word "stupid" to describe a child who may have developmental delay. Plain and simple. |
Plain and simple - don't criticize under amother. Read the box that pops up when you post as amother.
The second post was a generality, not just specific to you.
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amother
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 3:25 pm
| zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | amother wrote: | | I can't help but wonder if my 3 yo dd is stupid. I know it sounds mean, but she doesn't know her ABC's yet (she can sing them but can't recognize anything that isn't an "N" or "T" b/c that's the first letter in her name and her sister's name), and doesn't recognize numbers yet. this morning when I asked her which sippy cup of milk was hers she said" the blue one" (she was in the playroom and I was in the kitchen) but there was no blue one, one was pink and one was yellow ( 1 for her and 1 for her sister). I told her that there is no blue. so when she came to the kitchen, she looked at the cups and said the pink one. usually the pink one is for her sister so I asked her older sister and she said that the pink one was hers, not my 3 yo's. why would she just make that up? she wasn't saying it like she was playing around. she was serious. also, I tell her things one day and she forgets the next day. things that I tell her every day, like before she goes to bed I always tell her not to wake me up in the morning to blow her nose, she can do it herself. over and over I tell her, but yet she says that she didn't know that when I tell her in the morning when she woke me up to blow her nose. is this typical of a 3 yo? is she just mentally a little behind? the thing is that she's smart in other ways.she does this in other ways as well and it drives me NUTS!! |
I am biting my tongue here, and I think you've gotten to much sympathy from posters on here considering how aweful you sound asking if your DD is "stupid" and titling your post with that word.
I wont even discuss whether DD is on track because that is so not the problem.
I think whatever concerns you have about her intellegence and acting inappropriately, you need to turn around and ask about YOURSELF.
Dont you ever use the word stupid to describe a toddler, and even more so, when later in the same post you wonder if she is mentally behind. What planet do you come from that you could call a mentally slow child, or any child, stupid, for being behind in learning?
I am utterly disgusted. I hope your DD has some reliable adults to look after her well being. |
That's not amother protocol. You criticize under your own name.
I think most of us realized she was saying it here so she didn't say it to her. It's called venting. So we just offered advice, and let it go.
I hope your venting is taken in the same vein. |
Listen, I will never understand the constant harassing of amothers on this site. As if all the other screen names are not anonymous as well. It is so bsides the point I cannot udnerstand why it would sidetrack you so much.
As for your concern... I am not saying anything negative. On the contrare, the message "dont call developmentally delayed toddlers/ any toddler 'stupid' " is a positive, very positive message. Read broadly, your "protocol" would mean nobody could ever post under amother, besides a recipe, because any preference, opinion, or statement is a criticism of the other side. Give me a break and stick to the issue.
You misunderstand. I dont think its only a problem if she asks if her toddler s stupid to her face. I think it is a problem that she thinks/speaks that way even behind her back. That is not "venting" that is unhealthy. |
Amother criticism is as good as the name of the person who gives it. Did you read the box that comes up when you select amother? If you need to say anything negative, do it as yourself. And it sounds very nice not to think mean things about your kids, But for all we know, there may be 100 different things going on, and she posted without thinking it through.
*Bad Mommy*
When DD1 broke the string of fake pearls I bought to wear the first time I met DH's parents, I was thinking some pretty unpleasant things for a few minutes. If I had called a friend and tried to talk about and got a lecture about labeling vs. a sympathetic ear, that would have wound me up not calmed me down. But, whatever... |
Really? In my mind there is no ambiguity here. I didnt say "dont think mean things about your kids" where did you even get that?
I find it horrifying to use the word "stupid" to describe a child who may have developmental delay. Plain and simple. |
Plain and simple - don't criticize under amother. Read the box that pops up when you post as amother.
The second post was a generality, not just specific to you. |
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amother
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 3:31 pm
| amother wrote: | | zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | zipporah wrote: | | amother wrote: | | amother wrote: | | I can't help but wonder if my 3 yo dd is stupid. I know it sounds mean, but she doesn't know her ABC's yet (she can sing them but can't recognize anything that isn't an "N" or "T" b/c that's the first letter in her name and her sister's name), and doesn't recognize numbers yet. this morning when I asked her which sippy cup of milk was hers she said" the blue one" (she was in the playroom and I was in the kitchen) but there was no blue one, one was pink and one was yellow ( 1 for her and 1 for her sister). I told her that there is no blue. so when she came to the kitchen, she looked at the cups and said the pink one. usually the pink one is for her sister so I asked her older sister and she said that the pink one was hers, not my 3 yo's. why would she just make that up? she wasn't saying it like she was playing around. she was serious. also, I tell her things one day and she forgets the next day. things that I tell her every day, like before she goes to bed I always tell her not to wake me up in the morning to blow her nose, she can do it herself. over and over I tell her, but yet she says that she didn't know that when I tell her in the morning when she woke me up to blow her nose. is this typical of a 3 yo? is she just mentally a little behind? the thing is that she's smart in other ways.she does this in other ways as well and it drives me NUTS!! |
I am biting my tongue here, and I think you've gotten to much sympathy from posters on here considering how aweful you sound asking if your DD is "stupid" and titling your post with that word.
I wont even discuss whether DD is on track because that is so not the problem.
I think whatever concerns you have about her intellegence and acting inappropriately, you need to turn around and ask about YOURSELF.
Dont you ever use the word stupid to describe a toddler, and even more so, when later in the same post you wonder if she is mentally behind. What planet do you come from that you could call a mentally slow child, or any child, stupid, for being behind in learning?
I am utterly disgusted. I hope your DD has some reliable adults to look after her well being. |
That's not amother protocol. You criticize under your own name.
I think most of us realized she was saying it here so she didn't say it to her. It's called venting. So we just offered advice, and let it go.
I hope your venting is taken in the same vein. |
Listen, I will never understand the constant harassing of amothers on this site. As if all the other screen names are not anonymous as well. It is so bsides the point I cannot udnerstand why it would sidetrack you so much.
As for your concern... I am not saying anything negative. On the contrare, the message "dont call developmentally delayed toddlers/ any toddler 'stupid' " is a positive, very positive message. Read broadly, your "protocol" would mean nobody could ever post under amother, besides a recipe, because any preference, opinion, or statement is a criticism of the other side. Give me a break and stick to the issue.
You misunderstand. I dont think its only a problem if she asks if her toddler s stupid to her face. I think it is a problem that she thinks/speaks that way even behind her back. That is not "venting" that is unhealthy. |
Amother criticism is as good as the name of the person who gives it. Did you read the box that comes up when you select amother? If you need to say anything negative, do it as yourself. And it sounds very nice not to think mean things about your kids, But for all we know, there may be 100 different things going on, and she posted without thinking it through.
*Bad Mommy*
When DD1 broke the string of fake pearls I bought to wear the first time I met DH's parents, I was thinking some pretty unpleasant things for a few minutes. If I had called a friend and tried to talk about and got a lecture about labeling vs. a sympathetic ear, that would have wound me up not calmed me down. But, whatever... |
Really? In my mind there is no ambiguity here. I didnt say "dont think mean things about your kids" where did you even get that?
I find it horrifying to use the word "stupid" to describe a child who may have developmental delay. Plain and simple. |
Plain and simple - don't criticize under amother. Read the box that pops up when you post as amother.
The second post was a generality, not just specific to you. | |
I will never understand the constant harassment of amothers on this site. It is beyond my comprehension why that is what you focus on.
My message "dont call a developmentally delayed toddler/ any toddler 'stupid' is not a negative message. In fact it is a very very positive one. (Apparently one that is up for debate, though).
Your broad understanding of protocol would mean nobody can ever use amother other than posting recipes because any opinion, statement, and preference is a critisicim of the other side.
Give me a break, and lets not get sidetracked. I said what I needed to say and I hope this little soul is happy and healthy.
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greenfire
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 5:27 pm
| amother wrote: |
I am biting my tongue here, and I think you've gotten to much sympathy from posters on here considering how aweful you sound asking if your DD is "stupid" and titling your post with that word.
I wont even discuss whether DD is on track because that is so not the problem.
I think whatever concerns you have about her intellegence and acting inappropriately, you need to turn around and ask about YOURSELF.
Dont you ever use the word stupid to describe a toddler, and even more so, when later in the same post you wonder if she is mentally behind. What planet do you come from that you could call a mentally slow child, or any child, stupid, for being behind in learning?
I am utterly disgusted. I hope your DD has some reliable adults to look after her well being. |
where's the "like" button ??? totally agree with you ...
to the OP let go of which freakin colour her sippy cup is, as to why she wakes you up in the morning - chances are because YOU are her MOTHER !!! 
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saraleah2010
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 5:47 pm
LOL. To start, I just pushed the "post anonymously" button just to see what everyone is talking about. Wow, you are right! There is new language added to it. I'm not actually going to insult anyone, but I'm still going to post as myself.
To my actual thread comments, I agree that it's generally sad to see a mother proffer the lable "stupid" for her daughter. However, there are areas in the US, primarily the south, where culturally that is the word used when a child frustrates and/or annoys their parents. I lived in the deep south for a while and admit it was jarring to hear otherwise loving parents say to their kids, in exasperation, "Are you stupid?"
(or, to adjust for the twang, "Ah yah stoo-pid?")
This sentence was tossed out whenever the child did something that was "childlike" that was just too much for the parents to take (colored on the walls, spilled food on clothes, etc.) However, I saw these parents also make good moves, such as praising good behavior, hugs, affection, etc. Mixed messages? Bad parents? Or just a cultural difference?
With respect to the actual post, I think that the OP was, ineloquently, asking whether we think her daughter should be tested. Clearly, the majority of us think not. I don't actually think her vocabulary necessarily reflects a passive dislike for her daughter.
In my own family experience, my sister has a son (now 6) with developmental delays and a lowered IQ due to prematurity and brief oxygen deprivation at birth. Believe me, she definitely gets fried and frustrated with him. Regardless that she has a lable and a reason for his behavior, she STILL has to live with it day in/day out and it grinds her down sometimes.
I think we could have a little more compassion for the OP...
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amother
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 5:48 pm
| greenfire wrote: | | amother wrote: |
I am biting my tongue here, and I think you've gotten to much sympathy from posters on here considering how aweful you sound asking if your DD is "stupid" and titling your post with that word.
I wont even discuss whether DD is on track because that is so not the problem.
I think whatever concerns you have about her intellegence and acting inappropriately, you need to turn around and ask about YOURSELF.
Dont you ever use the word stupid to describe a toddler, and even more so, when later in the same post you wonder if she is mentally behind. What planet do you come from that you could call a mentally slow child, or any child, stupid, for being behind in learning?
I am utterly disgusted. I hope your DD has some reliable adults to look after her well being. |
where's the "like" button ??? totally agree with you ...
to the OP let go of which freakin colour her sippy cup is, as to why she wakes you up in the morning - chances are because YOU are her MOTHER !!! |
Loving you right now, Greenfire 
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Liba
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 5:54 pm
I have a developmentally delayed toddler and find the idea of labeling your child, who is ahead of my child in many ways it seems, stupid offensive and insensitive.
If you need to vent keep in mind that your audience. Maybe your friends think it is cute and funny but there are a bunch of us here with developmentally delayed children who are not laughing with you.
Considering the fact that the one asking if her child is stupid is amother I don't see why everyone else on this thread can't be amother as well.
Really?
A three year old who doesn't know their colors and wakes up their mother is stupid?
Really?
This whole thread is offensive and I am not amother.
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Mama Bear
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 5:56 pm
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HUH? 3 yr olds are supposed to know letters and numbers??? My 5 yr old is learning alef bais now and just learned numbers, I taught him by looking at the clock. let babies be babies! why are we rushing our babies to grow up?
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zipporah
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 6:01 pm
| saraleah2010 wrote: | LOL. To start, I just pushed the "post anonymously" button just to see what everyone is talking about. Wow, you are right! There is new language added to it. I'm not actually going to insult anyone, but I'm still going to post as myself.
To my actual thread comments, I agree that it's generally sad to see a mother proffer the lable "stupid" for her daughter. However, there are areas in the US, primarily the south, where culturally that is the word used when a child frustrates and/or annoys their parents. I lived in the deep south for a while and admit it was jarring to hear otherwise loving parents say to their kids, in exasperation, "Are you stupid?"
(or, to adjust for the twang, "Ah yah stoo-pid?")
This sentence was tossed out whenever the child did something that was "childlike" that was just too much for the parents to take (colored on the walls, spilled food on clothes, etc.) However, I saw these parents also make good moves, such as praising good behavior, hugs, affection, etc. Mixed messages? Bad parents? Or just a cultural difference?
With respect to the actual post, I think that the OP was, ineloquently, asking whether we think her daughter should be tested. Clearly, the majority of us think not. I don't actually think her vocabulary necessarily reflects a passive dislike for her daughter.
In my own family experience, my sister has a son (now 6) with developmental delays and a lowered IQ due to prematurity and brief oxygen deprivation at birth. Believe me, she definitely gets fried and frustrated with him. Regardless that she has a lable and a reason for his behavior, she STILL has to live with it day in/day out and it grinds her down sometimes.
I think we could have a little more compassion for the OP... |
Thank you.
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Mama Bear
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 6:01 pm
by the way - to defend theh OP - I think it was an unfortunate misuse of theh word "Stupid". It's a cultural thing, in some areas it's not a negative word as in "youre so stupid" - it means 'not bright'. She didnt express herself right, I think english might not even be her first language.
but amother, your toddler isnt stupid. they dont need to knwo abc's or numbers before first grade. seriously.
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Capitalchick
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 6:16 pm
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I despise the name of this thread.
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amother
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 6:17 pm
| zipporah wrote: | | saraleah2010 wrote: | LOL. To start, I just pushed the "post anonymously" button just to see what everyone is talking about. Wow, you are right! There is new language added to it. I'm not actually going to insult anyone, but I'm still going to post as myself.
To my actual thread comments, I agree that it's generally sad to see a mother proffer the lable "stupid" for her daughter. However, there are areas in the US, primarily the south, where culturally that is the word used when a child frustrates and/or annoys their parents. I lived in the deep south for a while and admit it was jarring to hear otherwise loving parents say to their kids, in exasperation, "Are you stupid?"
(or, to adjust for the twang, "Ah yah stoo-pid?")
This sentence was tossed out whenever the child did something that was "childlike" that was just too much for the parents to take (colored on the walls, spilled food on clothes, etc.) However, I saw these parents also make good moves, such as praising good behavior, hugs, affection, etc. Mixed messages? Bad parents? Or just a cultural difference?With respect to the actual post, I think that the OP was, ineloquently, asking whether we think her daughter should be tested. Clearly, the majority of us think not. I don't actually think her vocabulary necessarily reflects a passive dislike for her daughter.
In my own family experience, my sister has a son (now 6) with developmental delays and a lowered IQ due to prematurity and brief oxygen deprivation at birth. Believe me, she definitely gets fried and frustrated with him. Regardless that she has a lable and a reason for his behavior, she STILL has to live with it day in/day out and it grinds her down sometimes.
I think we could have a little more compassion for the OP... |
Thank you. |
Tzipporah- are you placing your bet on OP being from the South?
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amother
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 6:19 pm
| Capitalchick wrote: | | I despise the name of this thread. |
Tell me about it!! Phew.... Thank you...
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flowerpower
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Thu, Oct 21 2010, 6:38 pm
I guess the op is living in a place where the word stupid is not offensive.
Op, I do not know your child but I have a three year old dd who does not know numbers or abc's. She does know colors and I am fine with just that. She goes to school and there she learns how to sit and pay attention when morah talks and how to interact with other kids. Next year she will learn all the aleph bais well and hope by then she is totaly ready to remember them all. Right now I just need her to have good social skills and other skills a three year old is expected to have. We work slowly on counting objects and recall(what she did in school)...
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