3.4 year old not trained

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Forum -> Children's Health -> Toilet Training

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Sat, Nov 06 2010, 9:57 pm

hi, I have a problem'my daughter was three in august. she can go a whole day without fgoing to toilet but will beg scream and cry for a diaper to go in when she cant hold it in any longer. she wears diapers as I gave up, but on the days I try to get her to let it out on the toilet she wont. she will not have accidents but will hold it in till I give in. what should I do

amother

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 12:24 am

Take away the diapers...

PIP

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 12:27 am

It could be shes afraid of the splash. Put a tissue in the toilet before she sits, this way she'll make on the tissue. It sometimes helps.

Barbara

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 12:42 am

Put her back in diapers. Its a battle of wills, and there is no way that you are going to win. Do it matter of factly, don't belittle her, just give her diapers.

Wait a couple of weeks. Ask if she wants to wear her big girl panties instead of diapers. If she doesn't, OK. But keep asking every few days.

But if the chance comes, remind of things she's missing. She wants to spend an afternoon at her friend's house? *Oh, I wish you could! But I can't send you to Miri's house and expect her mommy to change diapers. Maybe when you start using the potty* *Yes, a trip to the mall DOES sound like a lot of fun. But its just too hard for me with you in diapers. You're getting to big for the changing tables there. Maybe when you use the potty*

I only suggest this because she IS trained. She can hold it and go at her own volition. Its just that she is choosing not to use the potty.

JollyMommy

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 1:20 am

Barbara- excellent advice!

OP, I asked our ped. recently about this and he thinks the range of normal is by 5 years old. my son is almost 4, and B"H 95% potty trained, we have accidents about 1x a week. when he was 3 it was about 1 accident a day, 3.5 about 1 accident every 2 days, 3.7 once every 5 days. I'm hoping it continues getting better.

if I were you I would ignore it, drop the toilet training idea completely. put her back in diapers. if she is in preschool peer pressure will start to get to her. after a while- maybe a week she will realize she feels like a baby- especially if she's around kids her age who use the toilet, and you can casually withhold things for wearing diapers and be very enthusiastic if she makes any moves in the right direction.

but, getting it perfect, may take a while! hope you're more patient than I am!

willow

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 5:06 am

I agree with Barbara eloquently put post. She is not ready and you don't want her to have a feeling of failure. You also don't want her having bad feelings towards toilet training. Let it go when she is ready you will try again.

EvenI

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 5:24 am

You may find a book helpful. I mean a childen's story book about a character that has a similar problem and works through it. She can identify with the story and feel more confident that she can overcome her fear of the toilet.

Merrymom

Mon, Nov 08 2010, 11:58 pm

Well if you're chasidish or have big boys this might not work but I just stayed home for two days and let my daughter run around in nothing but a shirt. For some reason this works because she was completely trained in a week.

mini

Sat, Nov 13 2010, 11:53 pm

Did you try a small training toilet?

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