Are ds's friends ill-bred or am I unreasonable?

sarahd

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 8:09 am

I am just wondering if my expectations of five and six year olds are unreasonable. Is it normal for a five year old to repeatedly dip his friend's stuffed animal in the cleaning woman's pail of soapy water and smack it all over his friend's bedroom so that the sheet, quilt, wall and floor are soaking wet and have to be changed/mopped up?

Is it normal for a six year old who is drawing with his host in his room to take the crayons and scribble on the floor?

Does my son have particularly obstreperous friends, or am I lax in supervision because I don't keep him and his friends under my eagle eye every minute they're in my house?

My son rarely does things like this when his friends aren't around.

Inspired

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 8:23 am

I would not leave 5 and 6 year olds alone near a bucket of water or with writing implements. I do not allow writing implements in bedrooms either.

Ruchel

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 8:29 am

It seems very abnormal to me. Even a very spoiled child would know not to do it at someone else's house!!

Mrs Bissli

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 8:33 am

I won't consider them well-mannered guests, but at the same time such behaviour is not unimaginable. That's why I'd rather have children that age group stay where I can keep my eyes on. I learned the lessen after my kid's friend once managed to rip out a pillow when I let her play in DD's room.

Inspired

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 9:10 am

Mrs Bissli wrote:

I won't consider them well-mannered guests, but at the same time such behaviour is not unimaginable. That's why I'd rather have children that age group stay where I can keep my eyes on..

Yep. Kids are unpredictable.

greenfire

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 9:34 am

not sure if it's too much testosterone or what ... but sonny boy was a smart serious guy & liked to build legos & read and could play for hours ... his friends would come over and would put his matchbox cars into their pockets (this he couldn't even handle) - destroy the legos and couldn't play with any one thing for more than a minute & a half ...

we stopped having them over when one of them almost drowned my kid in the backyard ...

Tamiri

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 9:37 am

As others wrote: parental supervision is in order. If they try something and no one is there to stop them, why not just continue? Some kids are just particularly creative and are always dreaming up the next fun activity.

superjew

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 9:38 am

greenfire wrote:

we stopped having them over when one of them almost drowned my kid in the backyard ...

life'sgreat

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 9:54 am

IMO, a group of boys will automatically do wilder stuff than your kid alone. I dread having my son's friends over because I am always floored by the ideas they come up with. And it takes a second for him to do it, even if I just leave the room for 2 minutes, it's a wreck by the time I'm back.

sarahd

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 9:55 am

So I think I'm not going to let him have friends over anymore. When ds plays alone or with his brother, these things don't happen. If I have to keep my eye on his friends the whole time, then I can't do anything around the house or spend time with my other kids. For that I need guests?

NotInNJMommy

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 10:01 am

Kids test limits. I agree that I wouldn't just leave that age alone with stuff like that.

New place might mean new rules, so they might want to test...

gryp

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 10:39 am

sarahd wrote:

That's also why I'm very hesitant to send my boys over to their friends' houses. I need to know they are being supervised well and most mothers have other things to do.

Ruchel

Sun, Nov 07 2010, 10:42 am

I don't expect perfection (if you know me, you know I'm NOT the strict type) but if you break something and you don't fix it, if you are ultra noisy and out of control, if you steal, if you are rude or violent, child or adult you're not welcome at my house anymore.