WWYD- Give a HORRIBLE Rebbi a Chanukah present, or else....

Atali

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 11:58 am

Is $100 the typical gift in your school?

If not you should give him a lower amount that would be considered an average gift.

momaleh

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 12:08 pm

I'm with farm. Don't we always hear about the teacher who changes the horrible child because she believed in him? Maybe it works the other way too. I am sure he is everything you say (or don't way Smile

) but maybe if you sent as genuine a note as possible, he might warm up to your son?

Basimcha

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 12:09 pm

Perhaps you can give a little less than $100----but I would give something.

Merrymom

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 12:14 pm

If he's really treating your son horribly wouldn't he take the money as a sign that you're willing to overlook the way he treats your son? I wouldn't give a thing (assuming we're not talking about minor issues here) and I'd take your problems to the principal.

imato5

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 12:17 pm

My son had a terrible rebbi last year. We were going to give him a little something, but then my son came home and told us his rebbi hit him!!! There went his present!!

marina

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 1:35 pm

Not clear why you'd want to reward the rebbi's bad behavior.

I wouldn't give a penny to anyone who made my kid miserable and depending on the circumstances, I'd have them pay me.

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 3:02 pm

I think you are all off the mark, why give a monetary gift?

I think these a gift basket with these (or other) books may be more appropriate

How To Talk So Kids Can Learn
http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk.....r=8-1
Positive Discipline in the Classroom, Revised 3rd Edition: Developing Mutual Respect, Cooperation, and Responsibility in Your Classroom
http://www.amazon.com/Positive.....m_b_5
Discipline Without Stress® Punishments or Rewards: How Teachers and Parents Promote Responsibility & Learning
http://www.amazon.com/Discipli.....m_b_5

gold21

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 3:34 pm

how much more horrible could the rebbe be if you didnt give him a gift? you make sure you are very involved with your son and ask the rebbe frequently about how things are going and be assertive and the rebbe will know not to mess with your son. dont give him 100 bucks, he doesnt deserve it.

pumpernickle

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 3:43 pm

Shoichad has been mentioned in the Torah. It works. Maybe it's time for a bribe?

gold21

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 3:49 pm

a teacher respects a very involved mother more than she respects someone who tips her.

ValleyMom

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 5:59 pm

I'm a teacher and I appreciate being acknowledged for my hard work and dedication.
Personally a card with a nice message has been known to bring me to tears.

---but a then again so does a gift card!
:-)

IloveHashem613

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 6:06 pm

I'm just suprised that people here have said that if you don't give a gift, then the teacher will take his anger out on your son?? I used to teach kids and while I really really appreciated the parents who gave the us gifts and acknowledged our hard work, it didn't make me treat the kids who I didn't get gifts from any less....

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 6:35 pm

JC wrote:

I love this idea! OP, what do you think?

avigayil

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 6:40 pm

Give your standard gift. With your other sons, send them to a different school that does not employ a rebbe like the one your son has.

the world's best mom

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 7:10 pm

I think every Rebbe deserves some Hakaras HaTov, being that they take care of your son and teach him Torah. Excellent Rabbeim should get a nice bonus, while the ones who are not as good should get a bit less, but they should all get something.

amother

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 7:14 pm

OP Here- Regarding the books- No way- Hes an arrogant Mr./Rabbi I know it all/who are you to tell/suggest me anything and this is the way I do it.

Doesnt give a **** what you, me a Rabbi/writer/Professional have to say- because he can do what he wants and get away with it!

I think I will give him $ though because allthough he doesnt deserve a red cent, if I dont, there will be a bigger hell to pay.

DrMom

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 9:09 pm

sequoia wrote:

Send your son to a different school.

^^THIS.

Forget the rebbe. Give your son a Chanukkah present: get him out of there.

chanala

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 9:20 pm

If you MUST (and I am a strong opponent of rewarding incompetence), give him $18 and a letter dripping with so much gratitude he'll think it was as if you gave $100.

Do you really think they rebbis talk about how much they get from which families from year to year?

sequoia

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 9:21 pm

Thanks for the support, Dr. Mom.

OP, is it not an option? I mean, you have to appease and bribe him so he won't torment your son even more than he already does. Doesn't sound like a healthy situation for your son. Children are vulnerable whether or not they appear to be.

chanala

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 9:23 pm

FWIW, My son had the same rebbi 2 years ago who was horrible for him. I knew that anything I would do wouldn't change him so I just didn't do anything. Again, I refuse to reward incompetence.