baby home alone? | Imamother

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 9:42 am

cubbie wrote:

do you know how many times I realized I left my cellphone in the car outside my building and put the baby for a nap already and I'm ground floor yet I won't go get it until the baby has woken up and I can take her with me - it would take me 30 seconds, but I't not something I'd consider. But then again I'm one of those people who doesn't leave the baby outside the store, or in the car.

Um, is this normal? How do you bring in the groceries from your car? You shlep them with your baby in your arms because you don't wnat to leave her safe in her crib for thirty seconds while you bring them in?

I'm all into safety, really. But this seems a bit excessive.

Ruchel

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 9:42 am

Yup, people do it, and without monitor too. How do I know? people sometimes say it openly at the mikve...

I met a friend (mother of large family) one late evening. She asked me if my girl was alone at home. I said no, BH for parent, and she went like "oh good, I wouldn't trust a toddler to respect her bedtime alone!". True there is no law against this, but... not safe!

observer

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:04 am

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

cubbie wrote:

I'm not the one who wrote that post, but yup. it's normal and it's responsible. I do the same thing. I wont run to the car for anything if my baby is in the house.

the world's best mom

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:07 am

observer wrote:

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

cubbie wrote:

I'm not the one who wrote that post, but yup. it's normal and it's responsible. I do the same thing. I wont run to the car for anything if my baby is in the house.

I agree.

imaima

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:24 am

overthehill wrote:

You- or your husband who is a genius for suggesting such a dumb, moronic idea ought to have your parental licences revoked. Seriously.
What kind of train of thought could you or he possibly have that would suggest such an illogical, illegal dangerous idea?

The thought of any mother posting such a question here leads me to believe that perhaps you need to both sit down with each other and re-examine your priorities and responsibilties as parents.

You are overreacting. the wording of your post is disgusting.
I was raised by a single mother who had to go to work, you know! So I stayed home alone starting the age of 7 or even earlier. I guess if we lived in the state of NY, she could not have been my parent any more.

LiLIsraeli

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:29 am

the world's best mom wrote:

observer wrote:

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

cubbie wrote:

I'm not the one who wrote that post, but yup. it's normal and it's responsible. I do the same thing. I wont run to the car for anything if my baby is in the house.

I agree.

I'd never be able to manage if I had that shita. I leave the house alone in the morning with two babies, neither of whom can do steps yet. Plus I have one bag for each, and my pocketbook. I simply cannot physicall carry both of them up/down stairs in one trip. I usually bring my toddler out first, strap him into the car, and then go back in for my infant. It usually ends up being 30 seconds that each are alone in the house/car, but I can't think of another way to do it.

I have the same issue when bringing them to the babysitters. I can't physically bring in both kids at a time.

superjew

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:31 am

Ruchel wrote:

I was about to say Thank God that I never bought or got a monitor cause I would never even think of these horrific ideas & wouldn't be 'able' to. But you wrote that people do it with OUT monitors!!???!!! OMG. I can't believe this. The most I've ever done was eat friday night at my neighbor across the hall & kept checking in every 10 minutes. They thought we were crazy for going to check in. "So,what happens if your baby is crying for a little. What can happen in an hr? etc" I just thought they were nuts & kept checking in. I felt uncomfortable even leaving him for 10 minutes, but I left the door open & the hall is really small so I could hear him & checking in was for emergencies (like fire etc c'v)

Gosh I still cant believe the things I've read. shock

saw50st8

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:34 am

LiLIsraeli wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

observer wrote:

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

cubbie wrote:

I'm not the one who wrote that post, but yup. it's normal and it's responsible. I do the same thing. I wont run to the car for anything if my baby is in the house.

I agree.

Are you talking about a house or an apartment?
House to car is different than apartment to car.

BTW when I had two kids who needing to be held, I put one in a stroller and one in an Ergo.

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:35 am

LilIsraeli - Although I was the one that brought this up, I'd feel nervous leaving my kids in the car, even for a minute, alone. I'll be honest - I've done this in very extreme cases where I felt like I had no choice and it was for a short amount of time, but definitely wouldn't do it every day.

What I would do (which STILL woudln't be good enough for people with this shitah) is leave both kids in the apartment in a safe place, such as in the crib, an exersaucer, or at least a high chair (I know I'll get jumped on for that) and run downstairs to deposit the bags at the foot of the stairs or right outside the door. Then I'd come back up and carry the kids down without the bags, if that's possible. It would work better with a carrier for the baby while holding the toddler.

I can understand how that would be a pain, though!

For those of you who do have this shittah - what happens when you have to go to the bathroom? Or btter - do you never take a shower when DH isn't home? You won't be able to hear if the baby cries, or chokes, or any of those things. And my showers are short, but they take longer than 30 seconds.

saw50st8

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:37 am

imaima wrote:

overthehill wrote:

I agree the post was overdone. However, that doesn't make what your mother did safe.

Unfortunately, sometimes in desperation, single parents need to choose options that are far from ideal.

imaima

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:37 am

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

no I don't shower when I am home alone with the baby.

observer

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:38 am

I'm talking about house to car.

as far as two little kids, you can take one to bottom of steps, then other to bottom of steps. first one halfway to car, then second one halfway to car. I know its harder but I dont feel comfortable leaving a kid alone in a house or even more so a car even for a half a minute.

saw50st8

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:42 am

observer wrote:

We have an entryway that has a door (its about 3'X3') so when my kids were really little I would put the baby in his carseat in the entryway, snap my toddler into the car (the entryway still in view) and then get the baby.

It was winter, and cold so I didn't want to to have them each out too much.

I also live in a relatively safe suburb.

LiLIsraeli

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:42 am

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

I live in a basement apartment. I usually leave the baby in the carseat, strapped in, right inside the open door while I carry my toddler upstairs to the car.

I also usually don't take a shower when DH isn't home, even if both kids are napping.

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:57 am

Wait, so everyone still hasn't answered me. How do you bring your groceries into your apartment? Do you really make your kids (assuming you have an infant and a toddler) come in and out with you to bring in the perishables? I usually have at least two loads that really have to go inside right away, at least in the summer - milk, cheese, meat, chicken, frozen goods. What I try to do is to time it that I get home from the grocery store, put the baby down for a nap, and then race back and forth from the car. Do you only go shopping when your dh is home?

Or rather, I should ask, how much is your dh home?? My dh goes out to learn at night (and I'm assuming this is true of at least many imamothers), which means that he's home essentially for dinner and then late at night. I'm not shopping then, and I would be exhausted if I stayed up every night for him til late just to take a shower (especially when nursing a newborn or infant in the middle of the night).

I just can't imagine what I would do if I felt like I couldn't leave my kid in the crib for 30 seconds, especially sleeping, to run out to the car.

maofboys

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 10:58 am

I also will leave a child in a safe place just to take groceries up, or strap another in a car seat lock the door and then carry the next one down. but like most of you it makes me nervous. For all of you who say carry kids up and down with groceries, wow you must be very strong, and this too could be dangerous. When my 2nd son was 2 months old and my oldest was 19 mon. I had the baby in a baby bejoiren and carried my older one down with the diaper bag and stroller over my shoulder and fell. broke my leg B"H kids were fine but it was not east to have an 8 week old baby and a cast. Don’t over do it! you need to judge the dangers yourself. a baby sleeping in a crib can stay for a whole 30 sec. carrying 2 kids and groceries for 3 or 4 trips is probably not the better choice.

LiLIsraeli

Tue, Nov 30 2010, 11:07 am

maofboys wrote:

Thank you AlwaysGrateful and maofboys for making me feel better about this!