trying to toilet train not getting anywhere!pulllleease help

alwaysquestions

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 9:36 am

waaaaaaaaaaa trying to train my dd and its really really really not going well. this is day 3 an im sooo frustrated. I wana give up but I dont want to. I dont know when she needs to go. im busy pressuring her every 30 sec!now shes gotten nervous of the whole thing! any advice? anything anything please. Twisted Evil

BrachaC

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 9:51 am

How old is dd? Is there a reason this has to happen right NOW? I am a firm beleiver that if the kid is ready it will not be a miserable experience. I waited until all of mine were at least 3 or 3 and a bit before I even tried. We just trained my youngest this fall, we started a little before her 3rd birthday, but she was ready, and the school wanted us to train, so we gave it a shot. She had one or two accidents in the first couple of days, one accident in school since then, and 2 nights where she wet the bed. So, if you don't have to do it now and it is not going easily then maybe it is not the right time.

alwaysquestions

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 10:32 am

oh god I was hoping I wont get this response. I WANT to train her now. its the perfect weather to sit indoors. I know for a fact that she got the whole thing of going to the bathroom. she just doesnt want to. I cant figure out when she needs to go. it could be every hr , every half hr, or 2 hrs. I dont know!

ra_mom

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 10:39 am

alwaysquestions wrote:

You need to keep giving her drinks, so that she keeps needing to urinate.
This way you can keep her on the potty, get her to use it often while she is on it, and really teach her the concept in just a few days.
We had to offer individual sized sugary drinks which we don't usually have in the house, with straws, because that was the only way to get dd to drink.
Sit with her next to the potty. Read her books. Show her the process over and over with a teddy.
Offer rewards for every time she uses the potty. And loads of praise.

gold21

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 10:46 am

op, dont pressure your child. chill. if you just chill, you will be a lot more successful and you will build up your child's self esteem. parenting is not about convenience; its about what is best for your child.

BrachaC

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 10:50 am

Sorry for the response you were not looking for! I remember my parents training my brother one summer under a lot of pressure. they designated a part of the house, pulled out the potty chair, gave him lots of salty snacks- so that he would be willing to drink a lot- and then read lots of books while he sat on the potty chair. Is she old enough to bribe? I know a lot of people who just buy a big toy- like a big Little Tikes car or bike...and put it somewhere visible. When the child is trained it is their prize. good luck.

alwaysquestions

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 10:53 am

I tried 5 months ago and gave it up after 3 days. now 5 months later its 3 days want to give it up again. but im wondering if after few days itll work like magic.
she learnt the concept shes just one of the lazy kind of kids.

gold21

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 11:18 am

alwaysquestions, are you for real?? shes just 2, and youre calling her "one of those lazy types of kids" and youre pressuring her to complete a toilet training regimen in just a few days?? no seriously are you for real?? thats horrible. you need to realize that your 2 year old is still very young and you need to build her up, with positive words and positive actions- dont destroy her self esteem with pressure and negativity. whats your goal here? a happy stable child-teen-adult, no? so you need to be careful with the way you are dealing with her!

mom/2

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 11:31 am

Just trained DS, he was just 2, and the first week was sort of a nightmare since you don't know when they need to go. First 2 days I sat in the bathroom practically ALL day! nearly went off my mind. The first day he controlled all day, and he drinks loads. Second day he would sit 1-2 hrs on the toilet, and when I took him off he would make an accidents within minutes. Was frustrating but didn't give up. Got a potty since I couldn't sit another minute in the bathroom - had half my house in there to keep ds and myself somewhat occupied. Potty was great bec. he lost the fear of making in a toilet, and I was able to do stuff. By a week I got the hang of things, and realized when to put him on the toilet (after drinking, or if wasn't on in 2 hrs or so). I limited the drinking as well not to have to run so often with him. He was trained by almost 2 weeks, although he could still make accidents. But overall he's ok. Don't give up. Just continue doing what u r, and giving a sweet afterwards helps them too. Now he's using it to manipulate me: ) In the morning he asks to go to the bathroom so I should take him out of the crib. If he wants a nosh... They're smarter than we think!

Bliss

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 11:42 am

First of all 3 days of training is not a lot and shouldn't really make you feel so fed up. Now I know this is not the advice you wanna hear but I'm going to give it to you anyway. I heard from 2 doctors who said kids who are pressured and forced at a youg age to use the toiler usually have problems with bed wetting later on. One said there are statistics that in our communities there's a much higher rate of older kids with this issue. So I'd say, if you really wanna do it now at least go slowly and on a pace she could follow along.

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 11:44 am

This post sounds like us! Day 3- not going anywhere- and dd is already 3. We already do all the tricks. Charts, prizes, praise, sitting on potty every 20 min. But she wont drink. Maybe I should try salty foods.

alwaysquestions

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 11:57 am

Bliss wrote:

bliss, thank you so much! you made me feel better. I hope shell get it eventually. soooo frustrating!

grin

Wed, Dec 29 2010, 12:32 pm

it'll be much less frustrating for both of you and the process will go much quicker if you wait until she shows signs of interest. I think you should calm down - your'e not washing her diapers (like I did, back in the day), it's really not that big a deal to wait it out until sh'es more ready. You don't want to turn such an issue into a tug of war. Children can become constipated form toilet training pressure.

Do you want to spend the next month frustrated over accidents?

Believe it or not, she'll be trained in due time - one day you'll ask yourself what the pressure was all about?

emama

Thu, Dec 30 2010, 6:00 am

Oh my. Three days and you're frustrated? Please, rethink this. A. Your child is young. B. Three days is not enough, and C. It hurts me to hear a parent say her child is lazy...just what does that mean? Our children are precious, and a 2 year old isn't lazy.
Slow down. Training can take awhile and if you're frustrated, it probably won't be pleasant or work. Next, read some books on going to the potty, w/ your daughter. For some kids, sitting on the potty watching videos or reading books, while eating/drinking is helpful. Understand that this will be your job/activity for a period of time. No pressure on your child, only praise, hugs and love.

Ani

Thu, Dec 30 2010, 8:11 am

Here's what I do with my 2 year old DS who's almost fully trained for a couple of months already. We have a potty in the bathroom and child-size sitter for the loo, so he always has a choice. Since he's still nursing, I usually have a feeling when to expect. I set a kitchen timer, say, for 30 minutes. When it rings, I say joyfully "potty time!", take his hand and head for the bathroom, ask "potty or loo?", then pull down his pants.

If he’s ready, he makes, if not - I set the timer for another 10 min or so and we do it again. If he makes alright, then I again set the timer for an hour or so and repeat the process.

I noticed that if I start asking him when I feel he could use the toilet "do you want to do pee-pee?" or something like that, he invariably says "no!", wetting himself in a short time afterwards, but if I do the procedure with no questions asked - we go through the day in the same dry pair of pants. Smile

momo4

Thu, Dec 30 2010, 9:55 am

For me age 2 is late ;( ;( I do it at 19 months (my mom did it to all her kids, and she had A LOT of em ;( )
If you catch them before they're too mature and refuse to go, you have a better chance at it. The main thing you should know is DONT PREESURE in fact don't keep asking, just keep giving her/him to drink and just take her, at first every hour, if she doesn't need to go that often, reduce to every 2 hours. Let her run around with panties (stock up on them, you'll need to wash them often too) and every time she makes them wet, without a word change her (to get her to feel comfortable only when she's dry)and sit her on the toilet for a few min ( to show her you gotta make it there) after e few days of staying sry (you keep changing her) she won't be comfortable being wet, shell get the idea better.
When 2 hours past and her panties are still dry, make sure she sits on the toilet till she makes......give her drinks while she's sitting, read to her, put on the bathtub (helps the need to make) and when she does make, make a big deal of it, show her your proud, give her a treat.......shell want to do it again. Hope this helped

alwaysquestions

Thu, Dec 30 2010, 10:48 am

thanks everyone for your responses.
my dd knows that she needs to use the potty. she asked me a couple of times that she needs to go.
I just dont know when to take her. or when to ask if she needs to go. it could be 20 min and sometimes 2 hrs (like now) which was pretty frustrating cause for the past hr was asking her every second if she needs to use the potty. it depends on how much she drinks I guess but cant figure it out. cant set a timer cause sometimes I put her on and makes 2 min later on the floor. go figure