upsherin- taking to cheder- lubavitch help

Coke Slurpee

Mon, Feb 07 2011, 10:20 pm

We are not lubavitch, but one of my boys goes to Cheder Lubavitch. We thought we would take my almost 3 year old to Cheder Lubavitch for his upsherin, because it is done in first grade which is my other sons class.

My son's Rebbi gave us a whole booklet on what we need to prepare/make for his upsherin - and it is very different from our minhagim for upsherin - specifically the cake and egg with the psukim.
What I wanted to know is can I ask the Rebbi if I can just skip the cake and egg part or is that an integral part of the upsherin that all lubavitchers do and I should just pick a different Yeshiva to do the upsherin?

mo5

Mon, Feb 07 2011, 11:49 pm

Not part of upsheren only but hachnosa l'cheder. Its a minhag. If its not yours no one willmake you do it...but the honey cake/sweet torah learning is nice.

aidelmaidel

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 4:10 am

There are two different issues here:
Upshernish which is the hair cut
And Areinfernish which is when you bring the child to school the first time wrapped in talis, lick the honey, egg, etc.

Some people do both on the same day, some do them seperatly. I certainly don't think the school is going to force you to do the egg, etc. if you just explain its not your minhag.

mama-star

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 5:52 am

the cake has pesukim on it too. I went through a crazy amount of trouble making a cake and the egg for my son's areinfirn. he didn't eat the egg but the whole class ate the honey cake. I think you will be able to tell the rebbe that the egg and cake aren't your minhag and ask if you can skip it...but if you can't, here's my advice to you: ice the cake in white frosting and write the posuk into the frosting. for the egg, just use a roller ball pen. even if the kid eats the egg, I don't think the ink will hurt him (I seem to recall reading this somewhere but can't provide the source). anyway, hatzlocho!

gryp

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 6:50 am

I would discuss it with the teacher. The egg and the cake are strong minhagim and were much easier to prepare than I thought it would be, so maybe you just want to give it a try. If your son's class usually shares the honey cake (in my kids' school they don't) your son might have to deal with "hey, where's the honey cake?" questions from his friends. Not the end of the world but something to think about.

I used a toothpick to engrave the psukim into the cake and it really wasn't hard. It can be done in advance. The egg I found faded if I did it in advance so the morning of, I used a toothpick dipped in chocolate spread to write the psukim and it came out very nicely. I skewered the egg into the sides of a styrofoam bowl/cup so that the letters wouldn't smudge.

I did it twice like this, and will have to do it again soon IYH.

TzenaRena

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 10:07 am

I just want to point out that all these hachnosa l'cheder minhagim are NOT uniquely Lubavitch.

They are universal Jewish minhagim, brought down in the sefer Rokeach - authored by one of the earlier mekubalim, Rabbi Eliezer of Vermeisa; he was one of the Baalei haTosfos, who had many illustrious talmidim from the gedolei hadoros, including the Ramban -

and some are mentioned in the sefer Kav haYoshor, authored by one of the great scholars of Poland, Rabbi Tzvi Hirsch Keidinover of the era of the Ta"z and Sh"ach (sifsei Kohen), Tosefos YomTov etc. It is a sefer of Mussar.

These Gedolei HaDoros, one a Rishon, one an Achron, pre-date the Chassidic movement.

Just pointing out that doing these minhagim will not turn you into a Lubavitcher, nothing to fear, but everything to gain, the minhagim are holy and can have a very profound effect on your child, helping him to have an open and receptive heart and mind for the holy teachings of the Torah throughout his entire life, bezras Hashem.

Coke Slurpee

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 7:48 pm

I guess I'll just ask the rebbe- though I'm not sure that they'll forgo the egg and cake. I just wanted to make sure I wouldn't be offending.

Its not that I'm afraid of the minhag, I brought my other kids to cheder (just not a lubavitch one) but I'm just one of those people whose idea of baking is Dunkin Heinz- never mind frosting or writing letters- I failed penmanship in elementary school Wink

JollyMommy

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 8:51 pm

if I were you I'd do them any way. they are such beautiful, harmless minhagim, why not?

just to warn you that it's much harder than you would think to make a decent looking egg and cake. my cake looked like I had hacked it instead of carved it and the egg letters all ran into each other was looked like a green ball. but, it was still beautiful and the rebbe was so sweet with my son, it's one of my happiest memories and really set in my mind that cheder is the place for my son.

Laughing Bag!

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 9:14 pm

I dont seee y u wouldnt do it it is a nice minhag that ive seen as not nessasarily lubavich but iv seen it myself in lubavitch only. we are not lubavitch but have an uncle who is a lubavitch 1st gr rebbi and my nephews have gone to his class for cheder firen it was nice the honey cake was a plain honey cake written stam the posuk with white icing. the posuk on the egg was written with a plain ball point pen in the classroom we just brought the cooked egg and the rebbi wrote it but maybe he did it that way b/che is the uncle but u can do it that way too the nk that child eats does not harm as its too little to even taste or anything and if I remember right I think they make the child lick more honey than other chadarim or maybe its this rebbi he put on more than just the alef I thinkon emes too on yud... over all it was nice experience and it doesnt need to be fancy but the kids love the honey cake lol so y not?
enjoy and mazal tov!

TzenaRena

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 9:23 pm

aidelmaidel wrote:

Yay tzena for being so knowledgable!

Have I mentioned how I want to sit in the dust at your feet?

happens to be that it's pretty dusty where I'm sitting. Wink

Now,that cleaning lady I was supposed to arrange, maybe sometime this week?

coke slurpee, you can get someone to do it for you! It's actually part of the minhag that a young unmarried girl (or a woman that is tehorah) makes the cake. My daughter made the cake for my son when she was about eleven. (no special culinary skills needed for that!)

chocolate moose

Wed, Feb 09 2011, 8:01 am

mama-star wrote:

The minhag is that the psukim are engraved INTO the cake.

mummy-bh

Wed, Feb 09 2011, 10:43 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

mama-star wrote:

The minhag is that the psukim are engraved INTO the cake.

Correct. Personally, I found it easiest to frost with a fairly thin layer of water/icing sugar frosting, and then use that as a base to engrave on. You have to be sure that the letters go deep enough, but the frosting made sure I was able to read what I was writing!

mummy-bh

Wed, Feb 09 2011, 10:53 pm

mama-star wrote:

the whole class ate the honey cake.

I thought the boy himself had to eat all the engraved part? (oh, and all the malach michoel sweets!)

Coke Slurpee

Wed, Feb 09 2011, 10:57 pm

The booklet my son's rebbi gave us with the info on the upsherinish said that the 3 year old has to eat the p'sukim and the cake is usually served at the party later on.

What is the story with Malach Michoel and the treats? With telling kids that Malach Michoel threw the candies?

gryp

Thu, Feb 10 2011, 10:58 am

http://www.sichosinenglish.org.....6.htm

Quote:

#81: (Back to text) See Sefer HaSichos 5701, p. 28. In Sichos Shabbas Parshas Pinchas, 5734, the Rebbe explained that the sweets in fact come from the angel Michael, for he is the source of this sweetness. The people throwing the sweets to the child are acting - perhaps unconsciously - as his agents.