I feel like my 2 y.o. is feeling me up! help please

amother

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 10:09 am

though I never thought I wud b that type, I nursed my ds till 18 months- but now I think I created a problem- he is now 2 1/2 and is very attached to my ahem, lets call them, womanly assets- and he comes to touch and hold them for comfort. He wants to smush his face in them. he even pretends to take food from them with his hands and eat though I doubt he remembers that this is what their orginal purpose was.
he doesn't have a blanky of pacifier- I am his comfort, or more accurately, my female anatomy is.

at the beginning I ignored it- I didn't want to turn it into a big deal and hoped it would go away- but if anything it got worse- and it can be so embarassing in public!
so a few weeks ago I started telling him that when I hold him, he needs to put his hands by my neck. it worked for a while but now he says he needs to put them by my "other neck" (his words- lol) and does just that.

my dh says that I should stop holding him so much and just tell him no- but he is my child and he looks at me with this big tear filled eyes and it breaks my heart- I feel like he feels I am abandoning him. my dh says nonsense, that I've got to be tough and not give in to him.

do I fight with him? will he outgrow it? do I ignore it? enforce a rule? not hold him so much?
anyone else had this?
advice? ideas? please?

momgrandmom

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 10:20 am

Be loving but firm. Tell him it bothers/hurts you when he touches you in the bosom. Give him a kiss, put him on your lap but turned face forward. Keep telling him if he continues. Like when a teething baby starts to bite when nursing, you can tell him to stop. Try to distract him with something else. The key is to be consistant.

EMmom

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 12:52 pm

he's too young to rationalize with
bribe him with a treat?? sometimes bribery is the only thing that works Smile

next time he touches you tell him you will give him a special treat (whatever he likes - m&m) and a hug if he takes his hands off without a fight

thatgirl

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 12:55 pm

I woulnt make a huge deal out of it.
He obviously needs your comfort so just try to distract him by holding him close and kissing his cheeks.
I wouln't keep telling him not to touch you there since it will confuse him and make him want to touch you more.

MrsMortgage

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 12:56 pm

momgrandmom wrote:

ITA

shlomitsmum

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 1:27 pm

LOL he just likes the "squishy feel" just distract him. I'm tickleish so I just tell the kids mommy is ticklis and does not like this ....they learn quickly about welcome and not welcome touch. a very good skill IMO Wink

kaffe

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 2:40 pm

its not s*xual for him.
there are alot of kids who like to touch/ rub a certain body part of their parent for comfort. afaik its generally a sensory thing. it may be possible to distract him with another body part that may feel similar to him (just pick your fattest part- and if you dont have one. gain some weight Wink

)
if that doesnt help, you can look up other sensory activities to distract him with. either may help. but regardless, I dont think its such a huge deal.

amother

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 3:59 pm

how I weaned at 18 months? it was a disaster.
my dh was very upset that I let it go on that long and was very upset- basically put his foot down and said it was time- so I did morning nursings, and then stayed away from him all day for about a week- my dh took care of bedtime- started a bottle of milk routine- it sounds crazy but I couldn't be around him and ignore his cries- it was too hard for me
then eventually, I added the morning bottle instead of the nursing- but I would hold him really close while he drank to simulate the closeness feeling- it's terrible to admit, but I still missing the nursing. am I crazy?
my hormones were all over the place and my cycle went totally bonkers.
ask someone else who had a postive experience how they did it- probably b more useful....

thanks for the advice- it sounds good in theory- lets c if I am actually able to enforce it....

part of the problem is that he wakes up really early in the morning- like 5am- and starts screaming- and he never got into the bottle in the crib routine due to nursing so I take him and he lies w me in my bed- and of course, his hands r all over me.... I know I cud just get up at 5 and start the day, but I'm tired just thinking about it

anonymom

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 9:56 pm

Can you get a nice, cozy special new blanket for him. Cuddle with him and the blanket together. If he says he doesn't want it or doesn't like it, say that you're cold and put it around you when you sit with him. Maybe after a while, he will start getting more attached to the blanket than your breasts.

My toddlers have at times given more attention than I felt comfortable with to what's under my shirt, but I just kind of ignored it or told them to stop. It was never as extreme as your situation.

amother

Tue, Feb 08 2011, 10:25 pm

Both of my DD did this. I guess it might be a sensory issue. They both stopped it when I weaned them.

I just weaned DD2 at 21 months. I had a very positive experience (DD1 weaning was a complete disaster). I slowly weaned her to night only feedings. Then after a week of no battles during the day I started to put her to sleep with a bottle only. And then after a few days I made sure I wore a nightgown that was very closed so she cant even stick her hands in & just kept offering a bottle whenever she woke up. I just wana add that she did get to cuddle with me while she drinks a bottle & that was what made all the difference. It wasnt as if mommy is suddenly rejecting her all the way.

good luck!

Ruchel

Thu, Feb 10 2011, 11:29 am

DD did this very late (and I did not nurse long). I think it's fun and weird for kids so they do it. BH today she only does it rarely (always in public situations when she wants my attention, which is embarrassing though lol).
She once did it at a chassidish dinner, she started lifting my top asking for "lolo" (milk/breast). When I stopped her, she pulled my skirt down... shock