Please pray for me and my daughter

amother

Sat, Feb 19 2011, 5:55 pm

OP again:
We saw the pediatric psychiatrist on Thursday for 2.5 hours and she really listened and seemed to understand!
My dd came home with me, heavily sedated, and left on Friday night with her siblings for a weekend with their father. We go back to the hospital on Tuesday (with her father if he agrees to come) to discuss a long-term placement in the pediatric psych unit as soon as a bed becomes available.

My mother is flying out on Sunday to stay with us for a few weeks, so I'll finally have some support here. We're not close, but I can't do this on my own any more so I've accepted her offer of help.

I didn't even make shabbos this week, I'm so exhausted :-(
I lit candles and went straight to bed. As I hadn't cooked, I just had cold sandwiches for all my meals and spent most of the day shluffing in my bed until havdalah!

Thanks to everyone for your support here. This week has been a complete nightmare. I don't know how I'm finding the strength to keep going. When I finally found the courage and left my husband (after 12 years of abuse), I naively thought life would improve :-(

Now I'm penniless (my ex left me with huge debts, which were split 50/50 in the divorce, despite the fact he earns loads and I'm unemployed), struggling to raise my kids on my own (he only sees them 2 weekends a month) and my daughter is suicidal! I don't know how much more of this I can take. Please keep davening for us :-(

shosh

Sat, Feb 19 2011, 6:48 pm

I pray for you that your life will improve. And that's nice of your mum that she's coming to help you, because it sounds like you need all the moral support you can get. Make the most of it. And I'm sure your kids will enjoy having Grandma around. Kids going through divorce need all the extra love they can get.

I also have Shabboses like that sometimes - if no one's here I have been known to crash in bed, holed up with a good book and some good chocolate. It can do wonders sometimes - oil on a troubled soul and all that stuff!

Even if your ex was the biggest porcine creature out there, divorce is hard on the kids. Is your 12 yr old the oldest? If so, it makes even more sense that she's acting out. I found the divorce and the whole split really wreaked havoc on my kids, especially my oldest two. All of them are affected in different ways. But one of my kids took it really badly and had all sorts of issues that he is only now slowly coming out of (I hope!) A marriage break up when a child hits adolescence is even more difficult.

You have done the right thing getting help for her. A combination of help, therapy and a lot of prayers, together with the passage of time, will get you through. Just keep your eyes on the road ahead. Be'ezras Hashem, she will come through it. It will be rocky, but keep on getting help for her, keep davening for her, and most of all, keep loving her.

I hope the financial situation will improve for you, too. Get all the financial help that you can - state, tzedakah orgs, etc, but at the same time, get back to work. You have to stand on your own two feet. If your kids see that mum did what she could and worked hard, they will respect you for it. You have gotten this far. It's all a process, but with Siyatta DiShmaya you will get out of the mud.

Good luck to you and I wish you well.

snood

Sun, Feb 20 2011, 2:26 am

shosh wrote:

Everything Shush said!! Read her post over and over.
Give it time in the end you will see you did the right thing, but for now you need to keep being brave and keep doing the right stuff until you get out of the tunnel......you can see the light...hang in there, and lots and lots of love and hugs.
Know that we love and care for you and are davening and thinking of you.