All u professional moms out there...

amother

Wed, May 04 2011, 4:04 am

DD is 2 and has these screaming fits (!!!) Ok you say shes 2, what do I expect? Well I want to know:

1) Is it normal?
2) when is it abnormal?
3) why does she wake up and begin screaming (maybe woken up by a fly or noise and she's overwhelmed??)?
4) how can I relax her when she wakes up screaming?
5) how can I relax ME when she starts and doesnt stop?!
6) is there something wrong with her? maybe she has something bothering her inside (physical?) and can't express herself?
7) if I dont understand her one minute she has a fit?
8) she gets DS (6 mos) on a roll screaming!
9) who do I pick up (first)? Confused

10) why am I not managing?
11) how do you ppl look normal and not have hair flying out of your tichel, do you put on a sheitel or do u also get sweaty and irritated, do u smile at your dh, is your back breaking from giving in and picking them up all day?

TIA! I'm counting on u! At wits end

the world's best mom

Wed, May 04 2011, 12:38 pm

The terrible two's can really be terrible, and some kids are harder than others. If your child seems okay besides for the screaming fits, I would say it is normal. It could be a sensory thing, so watch out for extreme sensitivities or cravings for certain sensory experiences.

Every child is calmed by different things. For example, when ds screams, I would hug him tight while rocking him on the recliner with music playing and the lights off. He craves music, cuddling and rocking and is sensitive to light. A blankie or pacifier may help.

When children scream, it is usually because they can't adequately express their feelings. It doesn't mean that something hurts her, it could be something extremely simple, like she's bored or hungry or over-stimulated. If you can't figure out what it is that triggered the screaming, it really helps for the child to have her own calming spot. Ds loves being cuddled in my arms, and he also loves his toddler bed with his CD player next to it. A rocking chair, a beanbag, a swing, or even under the table are defined spaces where children may be able to calm down more easily.

If your child does not seem easily comforted by anything, then you can certainly walk away. If she will allow you to hold her, maybe you can while reading a book to help you tune out the crying. That way you can comfort her and yourself at the same time.

There's not much you can do about her making the baby cry. I would pick up the baby first.

The reason you're not managing is because noone manages in these situations. Some people just ignore the crying kids while they put on makeup and Shaitels so they can pretend they are surviving. Very Happy

Having children close in age made my last few years into a rollercoaster ride that forgot to end. B"H, things do calm down very much. I find that it's a big help when the baby learns to crawl and walk and become more independant.

AlwaysGrateful

Wed, May 04 2011, 2:27 pm

I had this, with the same spacing between kids. It was very difficult. I found it helpful to realize that when my two year old was all wound up, he would get even worse if he felt that I was upset or frustrated. So I learned how to breathe in, breathe out, and go on with my day. If I felt myself losing it, I would -- not often -- put him in a different room, calmly ask him to stay there until he could get calm because the screaming was hurting my ears, and then go back into an adjacent room. The distance helped.

Another thing that helped my son was that I taught him calming techniques. I know it sounds crunchy, but it really worked at that age! I taught him how to breathe in deeply in order to calm down, how to hug a pillow or his teddy bear, stuff like that. I saw that sometimes he was all wound up and really wanted to calm down but didn't know how to do it. This gave him tools to use so that he could calm himself.

Hang in there. My son is three, and he's been out of that stage for a while. Doesn't mean that he never screams, but it's a million times rarer than it used to be, and much more low key. And there's always an easily definable reason. (And I think I've gotten used to it more.)