Outgrowing a nap and not sleeping well

Seraph

Thu, Jun 02 2011, 2:54 am

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

He's not in a crib and never was in a crib. He's in a bed since day one. And me giving him toys in bed doesn't work, and me lying down in bed also just means that he has a big toy to poke, prod, and jump on.

I really don't want to get into a a co-sleeping versus crib debate. But if you insist on having that lifestyle don't complain about the problems it is causing. I am sure all your reasons for co-sleeping outweigh this issue and that is why you came to that decision.

Can you keep the co-sleeping thing out of this? It has nothing to do with anything. Kids who slept in cribs often climb out of their crib by this age and transition to beds already, and it has nothing to do with if I should have him skip his nap or not.

intrigued

Thu, Jun 02 2011, 2:57 am

Seraph wrote:

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

bestseven wrote:

Either put him into bed at noon with some music or a doll or anything that relaxes him and don't take him out at least for an hour..

He's not in a crib. Do you know what would happen if I put him in the room for an hour and ignored him? I'd find the room in complete dissaray. Shoes would be all over the floor. All clothes would be dumped off shelves. Drawers would be completely emptied out. Dirt would be dumped out of the potted plant on the windowsill and onto the bed. (He did that just last week.) All the sheets and pillows and blankets would be in a heap on the floor.

I can NEVER leave him unsupervised to "sleep" in the room for an hour. That's a disaster waiting to happen.

It sounds like he needs a relaxed environment then.

The problem is that you can't get everything. If you want him waking up at 830 you are just screwing his schedule. He needs to have a set bedtime at like 7 and yes he may wake up at 6 but that is the price we all pay and the child is much happier and healthier and as a PP said the nap will fall in place after. Kids need structure and the schedule he is on now is a breeding ground for very bad sleeping habits.

Can you explain to me why a kid who isn't going to school and doesn't need to be out of the house at a set time needs to be awake at 6 am? I don't need him to go to bed early. I don't mind a 9 pm bedtime even. I just don't want a midnight bedtime, and I want that once he goes to sleep, he can sleep well and not have nightmares from being overtired. Ma hakesher waking up at 6 am?

Waking up at 6 am is just a natural outcome to kids who have healthy sleeping habits. The reason why I mentioned this is because you said he couldn't nap early because he wakes up late so obviously it seems waking up late is important to you. Listen I hate it too my son wakes up at 630 now and every morning it is very difficult for me but I know that this is the best for him. Kids naturally need to go to be earlier then 9PM. JMHO.

intrigued

Thu, Jun 02 2011, 2:58 am

Seraph wrote:

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

True but there are some active kids who need a more relaxed environment. I didn't want to bring this up as I don't see the point in debating this. But you admit yourself that there is no way how your son will relax on his own. Whilst kids who have a crib or even their own bed generally have an easier time with that.

Seraph

Thu, Jun 02 2011, 3:01 am

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

bestseven wrote:

Either put him into bed at noon with some music or a doll or anything that relaxes him and don't take him out at least for an hour..

Says who? There are people who are night owls and people who are early birds. Kids have a set amount of sleep that they need (and that also varies by kids), but the exact hour they sleep shouldn't make such a difference. And as I said, on average they wake up 7:30... Thats not exactly late. Its only on a day that they nap and go to sleep at midnight that they wake up at 8:30. And they can get up as early at 6:30 sometimes.

Seraph

Thu, Jun 02 2011, 3:04 am

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

Uhm... I don't think you have any idea what you're talking about.
My son doesn't relax ever. He's the energizer bunny, times a million. His batteries just keep going and going and going and going, and he's been like that since day one. He knows how to go to sleep on his own and put himself to sleep, so long as he's tired, but you can't make someone who is not tired go to sleep. (I'm the same way! Theres no way I can go to sleep if I'm not tired! I get so distracted by every little thing and all the thoughts rushing through my head that its hard for me to fall asleep.)

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Jun 02 2011, 3:06 am

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

bestseven wrote:

Either put him into bed at noon with some music or a doll or anything that relaxes him and don't take him out at least for an hour..

I have to agree with this. There is a boy in the gan that I work in who we know when he went to sleep the night before tooooo late. He is a wreck and very very cranky. It does not matter if a child has to be out of the house by 7 am or is home all day. Its better that they wake earlier and go to sleep earlier, for their health and well being.

Seraph

Thu, Jun 02 2011, 3:09 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

bestseven wrote:

Either put him into bed at noon with some music or a doll or anything that relaxes him and don't take him out at least for an hour..

Sure, if a kid has less sleep one night then he's cranky. But that is total hours of sleep, not whether he slept from 9 to 8 or 7 to 6.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Jun 02 2011, 3:23 am

Seraph wrote:

shabbatiscoming wrote:

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

intrigued wrote:

Seraph wrote:

bestseven wrote:

Either put him into bed at noon with some music or a doll or anything that relaxes him and don't take him out at least for an hour..

Sure, if a kid has less sleep one night then he's cranky. But that is total hours of sleep, not whether he slept from 9 to 8 or 7 to 6.

No I dont mean less hours, I mean going to sleep later. It is that way with my daughter also, if she will go to sleep at 9 pm and get up at 8 am the next morning, she is just more edgy than if she goes to sleep at 8 and gets up at 7 am. I dont know why that is but I see it a lot with my daughter and kids in my gan. I am not arguing with you, just saying what I see here Smile

Shopmiami49

Thu, Jun 02 2011, 3:33 am

Seraph, have you ever tried letting him nap for 30-45 minutes and then waking him up? I've done that before with my kids during the transition stage and it's worked. Many times, they are either super cranky or extra energized after a really short nap, but at the end of the day, they do end up going to sleep earlier. Another option could be to wake him up a little earlier in the morning just to get his body used to taking an earlier nap (if he still needs it) and going to bed earlier than midnight.

FYI for all posters who say that her son is too young to stop napping, every kid is different. You have kids who really survive on very little sleep. I, fo one, am the child of two parents who went to slepp at 9pm every night and woke up at 6. My mother always tells me that after putting me to bed at 6pm, she would often still hear me in my crib talkign to myself until she went to bed. And I woke up when they woke up. And I was a perfectly well adjusted child, no problems in school whatsoever. My son stopped taking 2 naps at 8 months, my daughter at 15 months. My son stopped taking naps altogether at 2.5 and my daughter at just under 2. So again, every kid is soooo different with different sleeping needs, especially as their bodies change as they get older.

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Jun 02 2011, 10:05 am

Shopmiami49 wrote:

I think these two are your best bet, Seraph. In terms of the whole "What does waking up late have to do with it? I don't care if he wakes up late!" idea, you have to look at the day as a whole. It's not a matter of his waking up late being "inconvenient to your schedule," it's the fact that if he wakes up earlier, he might be able to squeeze a nap in at a decent time, especially if youre able to tire him out enough. If he gets that nap in, he may be able to go to bed at a decent time, sleep well, and function well the next morning.

Structure is important to kids. I see from this and other posts that you may not agree so much with imposing structure on your kids, or maybe just with the degree to which it has to be imposed. But this issue, and things like this, are the reason that people do impose structure on their kids. It's not necessarily the structure itself that is beneficial, it's the outcomes of that structure. Kids who have a set wakeup and bedtime are more likely to sleep well and therefore function well without falling apart.