Kiddush for baby girl

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amother

Sat, Aug 13 2011, 5:35 pm

How does ir work when you have a girl? Is the kiddush on the Shabbos after birth or can it be any time? Is it connected to when you name the baby?

Ruchel

Sat, Aug 13 2011, 5:47 pm

It depends on YOUR minhag.

Some don't do a kiddush. Some name at first occasion, first shabbes, third shabbes, fourth shabbes, anywhere in the first year, first year... there are sources and traditions for all of those. Find out yours!

shabbatiscoming

Sat, Aug 13 2011, 5:51 pm

amother wrote:

How does ir work when you have a girl? Is the kiddush on the Shabbos after birth or can it be any time? Is it connected to when you name the baby?

There is NO "right" way to do this. Some people have a kiddush, others dont. Some have it at the shul, some at home.
Its what you want to do.

Raisin

Sat, Aug 13 2011, 5:53 pm

there is an inyan to make a kiddush, but I don't think it matters when. We name our dds on monday and thursday as well so the naming is not necessarily shabbos. We made our dd's kiddushim when they were a month or two old. One at home and one at shul. I liked the one at home more, it felt more personal.

amother

Sat, Aug 13 2011, 5:57 pm

You dont have to do anything. My family doesnt make a kiddush for a girl or any kind of celebration. The name is given at the first torah reading after the birth.

maze

Sat, Aug 13 2011, 9:39 pm

We also hold that you're supposed to make a kiddush. Kiddush was made on shabbos.

ElTam

Sat, Aug 13 2011, 10:47 pm

We hold that you make a kiddush in shul or at home. How long after the birth depends on when Ima feels up to organizing it.

amother

Sun, Aug 14 2011, 7:25 am

We named at the first Torah reading (several hours after the birth) and made kiddush on a second day of Yom Tov.

obagys

Sun, Aug 14 2011, 10:07 am

I have a 15 mo DD and a 2.5 mo DD - still have to get around to making a kiddush for both of them and will probably end up combining. I wanted to give each one their own kiddush but was told it's totally unnecessary Sad

gp2.0

Sun, Aug 14 2011, 10:29 am

Some people wait until Shabbos to name their baby, so the naming and kiddush coincide.

Some name their baby as soon as there is a Torah reading (Monday and Thursday) and then have the kiddush the following Shabbos. Unless there is a very good reason to push off the kiddush by a week or two, most people have it either the Shabbos immediately following the birth or the next Shabbos, as soon as possible.

As for the reason for the kiddush: you are thanking Hashem for the miracle of giving birth. Hashem performed a miracle for you and your child, why would you not openly thank him for it as soon as you have the opportunity?

"A young man who had been married for one year had a baby girl. The man asked Rav Eliezer Schach, his Rosh Yeshiva, whether he should make a Kiddush to celebrate the occasion. Rav Schach said, "Suppose you were married for 8 years and your wife was unable to conceive all that time, and then she became pregnant and you had a baby girl. Would you make a Kiddush then? Of course you would. Now that Hashem saved you from 7 years of anguish and frustration, should you not certainly make a Kiddush expressing your gratitude?" It is not just a miracle when a woman has a child after many years of childlessness. It is a miracle even when she has a baby after just one year of marriage."

Raisin

Sun, Aug 14 2011, 2:42 pm

obagys wrote:

maybe I'll combine my sons bar mitzvas, they are only 5 year apart. Rolling Eyes

Sorry. My pet peeve when girl related simchas get played down - yet when we have a baby boy you "have" to make 2, or sometimes 3 parties. Personally I am over the moon when I give birth to a girl, why shouldn't I celebrate?

amother

Sun, Aug 14 2011, 8:39 pm

I have seen girl namings bigger than some brisses.

You can be thankful and not have a kiddush. My parents had me after long years and didnt do a kiddush because it wasn't done.

chocolate moose

Sun, Aug 14 2011, 9:03 pm

It doesn't have to be big at all. You can even just contribute something to an existing kiddush.

lamplighter

Sun, Aug 14 2011, 10:48 pm

Is there a reason why you specifically wouldn't?

gp2.0

Mon, Aug 15 2011, 12:09 am

I find it strange (and I'm indignant on behalf of baby girls worldwide Very Happy

) that even with some people complaining about women not being 'equal' to men in the Torah there are still women who would brush away an event of a girl's kiddush as 'not necessary' or 'I'll get to it someday.' This is shooting yourself in the foot.

It doesn't have to be a big party. Just some cake and herring and lchayim in shul, often men only, is what most people I know do.

I am gratified that my daughter's arrival to this world was publicly celebrated, the miracle of her birth acknowledged, shared and rejoiced over.

Grandmama

Mon, Aug 15 2011, 12:31 am

There are many individual true stories told of girls who had a hard time doing a shiduch, who came to the Satmar Rebbe. He asked the fathers if they had made a kiddush for their daughters when they were born, and some scratched their heads and said, they meant to but never got around to it, for one reason or another. The Rebbe instructed them that the very next Shabbos, while these girls were in their 20's or more, to make a kiddush and get all those mazel tovs, which would bring their zivug closer, the real mazel tov they were waiting for.
A kiddush is people blessing you with more good mazel, for you and for the child, and by giving lchayim and mezonos, the brachos people make are a zchus for the future.
It makes no difference if its on a Monday, a Thursday, or Shabbos.
(These girls got engaged shortly thereafter.)
However, if not making any kiddush is a minhag in your family, your Rav should be consulted.

I also assume any women here on imamother who never had a kiddush, got married anyhow.
Maybe their parents got enough mazel tovs without making a formal kiddush.

RachelEve14

Mon, Aug 15 2011, 12:44 am

We made a kiddush for the twins when they were about 6 weeks old (they were still in the NICU their 1st & 2nd Shabbot). They were born on a Friday and named the next day (Shabbot)

We made a kiddush for Rivka when she was about 2 weeks old. She was born on a Tuesday and I think the kiddush was 1.5 weeks later. She was named on a Thursday because we knew the name and I wanted to be able to tell my mother we had named for her mother before Sunday.

chocolate moose

Mon, Aug 15 2011, 9:59 am

lamplighter wrote:

Is there a reason why you specifically wouldn't?

Not everyone knows that it's an inyan to do.

It costs money and you already have expenses connected with a newborn. You might have other kids and be busy with them. It's an extra expense and thing to do.

We didn't make a kiddush for our daughter because of the above. BH she had a birthday at a Chabad House at one point and we sponsored part of the kiddush then, so we were yotzei.

Ruchel

Mon, Aug 15 2011, 10:10 am

Not everyone has the custom. Period.

Some will even do quite a big celebration, but no kiddush.

My rav holds it has no link to shidduchim at all.

Ema of 5

Mon, Aug 15 2011, 10:37 am

just to throw in another minhag- there are people who dont name until the third torah reading. (some of my relatives do this) some people only name on shabbos. (some of my relatives do this too.)
my daughter was born in the middle of july, and we made her kiddush labor day weekend because my parents were going to be here for shabbos anyway, so we decided to save them the expense of having to come in twice. she was born on sunday, and I think we named her either on thursday or on shabbos.

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