E.A.S.Y. is not so easy :(

lamplighter

Tue, Nov 15 2011, 2:04 pm

I'm trying to follow the baby whisperer system with my 1 month old but I can't seem to do it.
My baby falls asleep at the breast NO MATTER WHAT I TRY. I play with her, talk to her, take off her clothes, tickle her- nothing works! This is causing her to have noshing feedings instead of real blocks of nursing time and her sleep is all warped because of it. I want to train her to self soothe and sleep without props but this nursing issue is making it impossible, it also makes it hard for me to "read" my baby I.e. I can't know what she needs if I'm never really sure if she's still hungry or not. This is all very frustrating!
Any advice?

amother

Tue, Nov 15 2011, 2:20 pm

I really liked the baby whisperer method and it really worked for me. from the begining my DS slept most of the night between his feedings and at 8 months old my DS slept 12 hours a night without waking up at all. at 14 months we are still going strong, he sleeps from 6pm-6am more or less.

try feeding your baby right when she wakes up and when you are done with the feeding, wait 5 minutes and go and change her diaper, then play with her until she gets tired.

the one thing I didnt listen to was taking away the pacifier. at 5 months my DS stopped getting his pacifier out of bed, but he still uses it to get to sleep. he never really found his hands to his mouth and we decided that it was better that he continues his sleep instead of fighting to get rid of it.

No beginnings are easy, but I really suggest getting your child on a schedule, it was so helpful for me!

lamplighter

Tue, Nov 15 2011, 3:05 pm

akivachaya wrote:

what does e.a.s.y. stand for?

Eat - nurse the baby
Activity - the baby plays
Sleep - the baby sleeps because s/he's tired and falls asleep without props
You - rest and take time for yourself.

It's a routine that helps in 2 ways, it helps you understand what your baby is crying or needing at that time and secondly it helps the baby sleep better because she's tired and not just noshing.

Issue is my baby noshes.

After no naps longer than twenty minutes and 3 noshy feeds I just put her in the swing and she fell asleep there. I know bad mommy that I am but I can't live like this and she was so overtired! Why oh why can't I keep her up when she feeds? I only get one feed in that she is up for and is solid- the afternoon/evening feed, after that its downhill again Sad

chatouli

Tue, Nov 15 2011, 3:11 pm

LOVE the Baby Whisperer. But as the poster above said, she may be a little too young still.

My DS also used to fall asleep nursing and then take terrible short naps. The way I found to stop that was to strip him down to the diaper and then annoy the back of his neck with a wet wipe while he was nursing. It stopped him from falling asleep and he ate better. It all goes from there.

I also have to tell you that from 0-3 months I am totally pro-swing for naptime. Without it, even on EASY, my DS just would not sleep properly during the day. He needed motion to give him a good nap. After 3 months it was easy to wean him from the swing. I can tell you how I did that if you are interested.

Good luck!

MMCH

Tue, Nov 15 2011, 3:58 pm

Mazel tov!! I have to agree that I think you should wait until the baby is closer to 6-8weeks. Youll notice that at that time the baby will start to 'wake up' shell look around more, be up for longer and not fall asleep at every feeding.
I am also a huuuuge baby whisperer fan- all though like someone else we were swing junkies till about 3 months...and im not so against props (my 13 mo is addicited to her paci)
the thing I found MOST IMPT- routine routine routine. We did the exact same thing at bedtime every night in the same order starting at about 2months...and eventually by 5months DD taught herself to sleep through the night!
Good luck!

BeershevaBubby

Tue, Nov 15 2011, 4:02 pm

Look, the first 12 months of life is pretty much the most difficult because just when you think you've got baby on a schedule, she's teething, going through a growth spurt or developmental milestones or recovering from vaccinations.

6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, 12 months, 18 months, 24 months... give or take a week or two. Their appetites go through the roof or sink to almost nothing. They're fussy and cranky and want to be held. They want to play at all hours or sleep through the day.

1 month, even 3 months IMO is too young for baby to self-sooth. Generally at this age, if baby is fussing, it's because she has a need - she's hungry, she needs to be burped, she's got a dirty diaper. None of these things can be self-rectified.

Look, enjoy your time with her. Take her into bed and nurse her laying down. Take a nap while she does this.

lamplighter

Tue, Nov 15 2011, 6:02 pm

chatouli wrote:

I think it's young too but the books disagree with me and what do I know? Should I use a wet wipe? It seems so cruel Sad

I agree that the source of the issue is the noshing instead of nursing properly. I think I need to start with that.
My baby cannot fall asleep on her own, needs the swing, breast, or my DH's arm and often a paci to sleep. I was hoping to train her out of it through this system but are you all saying that's unrealisitc?

I'd love to know how you weaned her off the swing.

shabri

Wed, Nov 16 2011, 1:54 am

I have successfully Baby Whispered 3 kids and had them all sleeping 12 hour nights by 12 weeks the latest (1st 2 were closer to 8 weeks)

But while there are certain things that you can do now, you really can't do a full EASY schedule until 6-8 weeks. The baby is just too new, too tired etc. The most important things in the early weeks is 1. waking them up every 3 hours during the day to eat and 2, making sure they don't fall asleep nursing. So I am confused a bit as to what is happening with your baby. Is she eating as soon as she wakes up? Are you waking her up to eat? Either is fine. It is hard to wake a baby at this age, but there are some things that can help. Try changing her diaper if she falls asleep, rubbing her palms and back or just hold her sitting up. (You'll see her eyes will open, its a reflex). If she is really too tired, let her sleep a little a try again 15 minutes later. Once she has eaten, try to keep her up just a little bit. You can play or sing or just change her diaper or give her a bath. Anything to get her not to fall asleep when eating.

Once you have gotten her to stay up for a full feed, she will likely sleep better at the next nap since she won't be hungry. As soon as you have a few of these going, you are on your way.

You are right, E.A.S.Y. is not easy. It requires consistency and sometimes doing the short term more difficult thing. But if you can stick to it, based on my experiences, you will have an easier time overall.

cubbie

Wed, Nov 16 2011, 6:26 am

shabri wrote:

Ok, there's really not much left for me to say, Shabri's said it all - I have also successfully baby whispered 3 babies - all three sleeping through the night (12 hours) with a dreamfeed by 10 weeks.
The first two I started at 6 weeks, and the difference was amazing, my fussy/gassy baby, became relaxed, content and happy over night, my third I started from birth, wow what a happy baby.
The thing is that people hear the words "training" and "self soothing" and assume that there's a baby being left to CIO when actually it's the opposite, a baby who is put on a good routine from day one, doen't need to CIO but neither does the parent become a slave to rocking, walking, nursing just to get 1-2 hours of sleep.

chatouli

Wed, Nov 16 2011, 9:49 am

lamplighter wrote:

chatouli wrote:

I think it's young too but the books disagree with me and what do I know? Should I use a wet wipe? It seems so cruel Sad

It's not mean to keep her awake so she can eat properly! My lactation consultant recommended the wipe. Also I nursed on one side (keeping him up with the wipe as necessary), changed his diaper between sides, and then nursed on the other, again with the wipe as necessary until he was done eating. Once your baby has taken a full feed, and played a bit, she may fall asleep on her own without a prop but I have to tell you, until after 3 months mine never did.

The way I got him off the swing was I would do the whole setting the scene routine and then rock him to sleep and put him down in the crib. Yes, he was still being rocked TO sleep, but once he was asleep he was no longer moving so that is better than the swing. He would then stay asleep for his nap. (Granted, between 3-6 months he woke up at the 40 minute mark quite frequently, but BW has techniques for dealing with that.) Soon he did not require being rocked to sleep, I would rock him in my glider just until he was sleepy and then put him down in the crib.

I think this is a BW philosophy but maybe I read it somewhere else. Babies have to learn to sleep. Between 0-3 months, they work out how to sleep at night. Between 3-6 months, they learn how to take proper naps. You have to teach your baby how to sleep, but you have to do it in a way that works for both of you and not every baby will respond to the same techniques in the same way.

STMommy

Wed, Nov 16 2011, 2:15 pm

I also used the wet wipe routine. I also nursed in a warm room and when DD fell asleep during a feeding, I would get her naked to wake her up and continue feeding her. The falling asleep during feeding was so frustrating. But I also never got into the Baby whisperer because I was very resistant to any book that seemed preachy to me, and I distinctly remember that the tone of the book was to make me feel bad that things weren't going right. Couldn't stand that. We moms get enough flak/lack of suport as it is, don't want a book adding to my stress!