changing the spelling- WWYD?

amother

Thu, Dec 15 2011, 1:20 am

When we named our daughter (now 8) we had (what we thought was) the standard spelling of her name in mind but it wasn't written in Hebrew on anything official, as we lived in the US.

When we made aliyah almost 2 years ago we changed the spelling:
Basically, after spending hours in the consulate in NY with crying hungry children, waiting for our turn, the young women working at the counter took one look at the spelling we used and asked if we really meant that, since they had never seen the name spelled that way. We were already overwhelmed by the experience, and distrustful of our own Hebrew ability, so we did what we now realize was stupid and took their advice and wrote it the way they recommended.
This also changed the meaning of the name, because of the different letters, but our feeling was and has been that that new meaning seemed more appropriate for her anyway, and we didn't want her to have difficulties with the name in school.

But after some time we realized that we had spelled the name correctly to begin with. Not only that, but the "new" meaning we thought the new spelling had might not even be there-- it might not have a meaningful word in it at all. But not only is the name on all the documents now, but DD had been using the new spelling all this time and it is what feels right to her.

Is what's done done, or should we go back to the original?
The name is Eliana:
The new spelling has an Aleph instead of an Ayin in the middle -- We thought that might mean "My G-d--Please" rather than the traditional "My G-d had answered" but that is probably wrong, since the name ends with Heh.

zaq

Thu, Dec 15 2011, 6:38 am

So what are you asking, exactly? Eliana spelled aleph, lamed, yud, aleph, nun, hey has no meaning. The meaning you intended would have a final aleph rather than hey.

Just curious, what was the spelling you originally submitted? And this spelling, aleph, lamed, yud. aleph, nun, hey was the spelling the consultate clerk suggested?

Many people use alternative spellings these days. For example, I know someone who named her dd Elisheva with an initial ayin instead of aleph in memory of a relative whose name was Ezra. It's not the standard spelling and she always has to correct people, but it does make her stand out from all the other Elishevas.

Your current spelling means nothing at all. Seeing as it doesn't mean anything bad or embarrassing, I see no reason to go thru the hassle of changing the spelling.

Thu, Dec 15 2011, 6:45 am

I don't understand - even if legally her name is one thing, that doesn't mean that's how you always have to spell it. I have a friend whose name was misspelled on her birth certificate, ss info etc- thing Chaha intead of Chana. And don't think for a second that anyone knew her legal name was Chaha - until I saw her fill out her name for something...

But I imagine if it was too big a deal to change her name in NY, it'll be 1,000 times harder to change it in Israel.

zaq

Thu, Dec 15 2011, 10:01 am

You didn't take away her real name--her real name is whatever you said it was. Now dd will have an intriguing story to tell, an icebreaker topic for small talk when she meets new people. Did you know Oprah Winfrey was supposed to be named Orpah, as in Ruth's sister-in-law? It doesn't seem to have hindered her success.

I have a coworker whose name was misspelled on her birth cert, too. I assure you it has not left her emotionally scarred. What bothered her was the nickname kids gave her in school, and that had to do with the sound of her name, which was unaffected by the misspelling.

I mean, if your kid's name was mispelled Easter for Esther, I'd change it posthaste, but if it was Esthir or Esthar, I wouldn't.

zaq

Thu, Dec 15 2011, 10:07 am

Listen, sometimes you have to let well enough alone. Maybe the mistake was bashert. To start changing things around at this point would not only be a hassle but would also confuse everyone, most especially your dd. She relates to her name as it is, and to her, this is who she is. What, now she's somebody else? Imagine that you always referred to yourself as "Tamar" and now you find out your name was supposed to be "Tomer". Would you start calling yourself "Tomer"?

zaq

Thu, Dec 15 2011, 10:15 am

During the great wave of immigration to the US in the late 19th-early 20th century, it was not unheard of for full siblings to have similar but slightly different last names, like Heller and Haller or Schnaidman and Schmidman, because of transcription or hearing mistakes by people completing immigration documents. Evidently these people felt no need to correct the paperwork and so their names remain to this day. It doesn't seem to have done them any harm.

Liba

Thu, Dec 15 2011, 10:21 am

But this is a first name...

Misrad HaPanim spelled out last name wrong as well. It is just a missing eyen, so we aren't arguing over it. DH did argue with them and make them spell all of the first names right and then ran out of steam.

Basically, we use the misspelling for legal documents and sign our name spelling it correctly...

Your daughters name, I wouldn't mess with it for now. She is comfortable and writing it they way she is. I would tell her the story in a couple years and see what she does with it. She can certainly decide to spell her name as she likes later on.

FWIW, I don't think legally changing a name here is all that hard. People legally change from their English names to their Jewish/Hebrew names at misrad hapanim without too much trouble.

zaq

Thu, Dec 15 2011, 10:51 am

amother wrote:

original spelling was:
אליענה

current spelling is:
אליאנה

So Zaq, I'm not sure I understand-- are you saying you would keep the current spelling for all uses?

Yes, I would. IMO a person should have one name, not an "official" name and a "real" name. What, are we schizophrenics?

While I can't think of an example off the cuff, I do see Israelis with names that sound like Hebrew names but are spelled differently. Sometimes this is deliberate and sometime's it's a mistake.
Do I not have a distant relative named Moyshe, spelled mem-vav-yud-shin-ayin? He was named after a Moshe, of course. Moshe spoke Yiddish, and so his granddaughter, whose formal Jewish education consisted of a 6-week JCC class in conversational Yiddish, assumed his name was spelled phonetically. So her son became Moyshe, mem-vav-yud-shin-ayin, and so he remains.

I really don't think anyone will have a problem with the variant spelling of your dd's name. It doesn't look odd or unpronounceable, and I'm willing to bet most people wouldn't even notice unless they're persnickety about language. The kind of people who will insist upon calling you SaRAH because it's grammatically correct, no matter how often you ask them to call you SArah.

CatLady

Thu, Jan 12 2012, 7:06 am

I'm accustomed to seeing different versions of English names. Like Khloe with a K, variations on the same name such as Kaylie/Kayleigh/Caylee, Robin/Robyn and so on, and creative names I got from watching Toddlers and Tiaras like MaKenzie, Brittannie, and Syriniti (pronounced "Serenity") Anything goes nowadays, and if English can accommodate alternative spellings, so can Ivrit, I guess.

Why not let your DD decide which spelling she wants to use? She'll feel the vibe from whichever spelling is more reflective of her real self. Maybe the so-called "mistake" is not so much of a mistake after all.

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 12 2012, 7:13 am

I think spelling a name wrong looks trashy (Siriniti type), but when it comes from another alphabet or when there are different real options, it is something else and a real choice.

Many spellings have been butchered in Israel among Yiddish or Ladino names. Hence when we wanted to name dd after my grandma and my great grandma (two Ladino names) the spellings we found on grandma's card were just WRONG historically speaking, as in not those used in ketubos over the centuries. I ended up contacting a scholar over it, and we decided in the end (dd was old already!) to go with the historical spellings, even though they make no sense in modern Hebrew.

It seems to me Eliana has two meanings hence two spellings.