Share your calming tricks please!

SacN

Thu, Feb 09 2012, 4:23 pm

The story is:

I have a delicious three month old. She smiles, coos, and is generally very sweet. Except, of course, when she's fussy.
Lately, that has been a lot of the time. We've tried everything--even took her to the pediatrician because I thought something might seriously be wrong (maybe she has an ear infection? Reflux? etc). Nothing seems wrong--I tried cutting out dairy, we tried using a rectal thermometer to let out any constipation (though she's breastfed and didnt seem constipated). She doesn't seems very bothered by gas, and doesn't mind laying down after she eats.

I have a theory that she's exhausted. (I know I am...). She doesn't fall asleep with less than 45 minutes of rocking with on and off fussing and crying, and wakes up from the smallest movement or noise. If I let her sleep on me, I better not sneeze, and good luck trying to put her down. She also doesn't generally fall asleep in the stroller, baby carrier, swing, car, etc. Only swaddled, with me holding and rocking her.

She isn't calmed by the swing (and I've tried front/back and side/side ones), the bouncer, the doorway jumper, the baby carrier, driving in the car, or rocking the the stroller. I bought hylands colic tablets and they seem to do nothing. It's not a growth spurt, unless those last more than a month.

ANY tips? I'm not complaining, I just want to make her happy and comfortable. And of course, would love time without a baby in my arms.

piegirl

Thu, Feb 09 2012, 4:46 pm

my two month old has been like that for the past two weeks, and I also figured that he was overtired. now after he's been up for an hour and a half, I start putting him to sleep. feed, change, then on his stomach with his pacifier, tapping his back and singing. it takes a while, but he falls asleep. I stay with him till hes deeply asleep, then turn him over on his back.
thats the only way.
he used to fall asleep when he was lying down next to me and I was nursing him, but not anymore. you can try that too.

SacN

Thu, Feb 09 2012, 5:19 pm

Hi,

Thanks for the advice-- she won't ever fall asleep any way other than swaddled, on her side facing out (as if she's nursing, but facing the other way), with the pacifier, and it takes FOREVER. Also, it hurts my back...

Occasionally, she'll fall asleep while I nurse her, but it lasts about 3 minutes, and she'll wake up. There is no way I could flip her from her stomach to her back while she's asleep. I cant even move the paci away from her face without her waking up.

I can't spend the entire day holding her, trying to get her to sleep for only 10 minutes until she wakes up...there has to be a better way.

ellie23

Thu, Feb 09 2012, 6:33 pm

here is my advice: put her to sleep 15 minutes before she is supposed to nap...before the crankiness starts. make sure she is in a designated sleeping place. this means the place you want her to sleep. could be a crib, bassinet, pac n play etc.. make sure the area is conducive to sleep..no stimulation unless it is white noise, dark, comfortable temp, clean etc...I purchased light blocking window curtains and it made a huge difference in the way my babies napped!

anyway once her sleeping area is set up and she is in bed with a paci etc, leave the room. no rocking, no mommy. as you are by now painfully aware of, once you do those things the baby willd epend on it and become so sensitive to anything different sleep will become virtually impossible! she will cry. because she is so little I suggest you take it very slow with her. in other words, I personally wouldnt let a 3 month old cry for say longer than 10-15 minutes. of course, you would go into her room every 4 minutes or so to pat her back, wipe her dry, return paci etc..just no talking to her or picking her up. try this for a week and see if there is an improvement. it is an adjustment for her and she will need time and patience to learn how to sleep...but it is an invaluable skill.

piegirl

Thu, Feb 09 2012, 7:23 pm

I forgot to add that I flip him over and then nurse him
my baby used to only fall asleep on me when I was lying down, and then I wouldnt be able to move for his45 minute nap. then hed wake up and be cranky because thats not enough sleep.
you have to get her used to sleeping in another position. maybe on your bed with you laying next ot her the whole nap for starters? then at least she smells you and knows youre there

yksraya

Thu, Feb 09 2012, 8:13 pm

with one of my kids I used to put my nightgown into the crib that way he was smelling me and thinking I'm near him. that way I could take a little break from holding him (he was colic) sometimes he would even fall asleep and sleep for an hour or more.

sarachana

Thu, Feb 09 2012, 9:06 pm

try using white noise when u put her down to sleep. What I do is turn the volume up slowly and the right volume will put them out very fast....or at least help them calm down. It could be as loud as the vaccuum cleaner...babies love the noise!

SacN

Fri, Feb 10 2012, 3:11 pm

Its not that I mind holding/rocking her, or even nursing her. Its that none of those things even work. We have a sound machine, she always sleeps in the same place, in a quiet relaxed environment, etc. It still takes forever and a lot of crying before she finally dozes off, and then it lasts under 20 minutes before she's up again and fussing. I've slept with her sheet so it smells like me--no luck with that either.

I'm not letting her cry. If I leave her awake, she gets hysterical--quite the opposite of the calm that would help her sleep.

punchike

Fri, Feb 10 2012, 3:38 pm

I second the Baby whisperer- it's great! you gotta read it carefuly & work on it. but its very effective.

for a desperate night: turn on music, walk her to sleap in a bassinet type carriage, then transfer her to her bed, use a swing, bundle her up & take her outside for a few minutes... most babies will fall aleep from the walk 7 cold air combined.

jelly belly

Sat, Feb 11 2012, 8:29 pm

How long has this been going on? Sounds like my colicky ds, but it definitely started before three months. I never found a trick, sorry. If I danced around a certain way he screamed less, but it didn't make a huge difference overall. Eventually, he grew up Smile

Peanut2

Sat, Feb 11 2012, 10:16 pm

My baby was like that. She's now 8 months old and we're still figuring out how to handle her.
My dd was simply tired. If I could go back in time I would have tried to start having a schedule for my day, with massive amounts of time for sleeping and napping. If you know she gets tired say 2 hoursbafter she wakes up in the morning, try putting her to sleep 1.5 hours after she wakes up. You don't need to schedule her, but just set up a bit of a routine with lots more sleep time. The more tired they are, the harder it is to put them to sleep.