leaving a baby alone

amother

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 1:32 pm

amother wrote:

first she has never woken up while I was out,
second when she wakes up she is used to playing quietly for 10 minutes anyway, so no fear of her wailing away.
third my neighbor is home all day with no kids.
fourth I can be home in under 2 minutes if she is crying.
fifth, whats the difference between being downstairs in the kitchen while your baby sleeps upstairs? and a neighbor being in her kitchen with my baby upstairs? its exactly the same distance and setup.

I'll address you point by point:

1. There's always a first time for her to start waking, you never know when a baby's schedule will change.
2. The following hapeened to my cousin's baby a few weeks ago: The baby woke up from his nap. While his was playing, his little leg got caught in between the bars of the crib. He was screaming. Obviously, she was there to help him.
3. You never know when your neighbor will be preeoccupied with something else, step out for a few minutes, or fall asleep. Can she come down to your apartment while you are out?
4. You don't know what can happen in 2 minutes! How can you even be sure it will only take 2. What if you get stuck somewhere?
5. There is a big difference between a mother being on a different floor in a house as opposed to a neighbor being in another apartment. It's also illegal to leave your baby home alone.

You are endangering your little baby. Please try to make another arrangement as soon as possible. I'm not trying to attack you. I, as well as the other posters, would hate to see anything happen, c'v, to your little one.

ChavieK

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 2:00 pm

I'm not even worried about a baby crying for a few minutes. That's the least of it. How long does it take for a fire to spread? If you are in the house you hear the smoke detector, what will you do in car? Do you mean to tell me you leave your apt door unlocked so anyone could get in? Or is it locked to keep your baby safe? If your neighbor is home anyway all day with no kids ask her, pay her, to come up for 10 min. Btw where I live the age for children to stay home alone/babysit is regulated by the fire dept.

Mitzvahmom

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 2:11 pm

shayna82 wrote:

I never took a shower with any of my kids up and around. always waited till my husband was home. it only takes a minute for something bad to happen cv

Not everyone has another adult in the home.

Not everyone has the money to get someone to babysit.

Believe me there have been nights I have wished I could have run out to the store (5 min walk) to get something. Honestly, we go with out because I would never leave my kids alone.

I had social services over once, and the woman asked my daughter if I ever left her alone in the apt. She said yes, once (my heart almost dropped). The social worker said really, for how long?

my daughter, well the snow was up to my mom's hip so she did not want us to go out in the bad weather.. So she ran the garbage out to the dump (accross the street) and we watched her fall down in the snow. It was really hard, but it was to deep and she just took out the garbage. Plus my mommy knocked on the neighbor's door and the neighbor stood outside our door, but did not want to come in. Because we had cars and toys all over the floor.

The social worker smiled and said so u were not alone.

My daughter yes I was my mommy was not there.

amother

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 2:13 pm

shayna82 wrote:

I never took a shower with any of my kids up and around. always waited till my husband was home. it only takes a minute for something bad to happen cv

If I am stuck I will bring the baby into the bathroom with me, where I can keep an eye on him or her. (rarely happens) With my first baby, when she was small I used to take a bath with her in her babyseat next to the tub. If she would get kvetchy I would bring her in the bath with me!

Ruchel

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 2:22 pm

only1 wrote:

I don't get why this is in the controversial topics section.

it's not even controversial - it's just plain dumb.

LOL!

This is controversial because in some countries/culture it is more accepted than others. I have heard of babies left alone for hours, and toddlers for a night....

Piper

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 2:45 pm

Ruchel wrote:

only1 wrote:

I don't get why this is in the controversial topics section.

it's not even controversial - it's just plain dumb.

LOL!

This is controversial because in some countries/culture it is more accepted than others. I have heard of babies left alone for hours, and toddlers for a night....

Sometimes I think people should be required to get permits to breed.

Raisin

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 2:47 pm

Quote:

LOL!

This is controversial because in some countries/culture it is more accepted than others. I have heard of babies left alone for hours, and toddlers for a night....

A couple of months ago, I was in the supermarket 5 minutes drive away Motzie Shabbos, about 9:30 or so at night and I met a young couple who live near me shopping. They have 3 kids aged 2-7. I asked who is with their kids and they responded casually , Oh we left them at home watching TV in bed. Our oldest child has our cell number if anything happens.

shock

I was kind of dumbstruck, and I said something like, You know,here it is against the law to leave your kids alone, so be careful.

These are well educated daati people from Israel, just living in our community for a few months. In Israel they were living on a Kibbutz.

realeez

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 2:51 pm

only1 wrote:

only1
I don't get why this is in the controversial topics section.

it's not even controversial - it's just plain dumb.

Very true.

Also, did anyone think that even if the baby seems to be fine in his/her crib, there could be a fire ch"v and with no one home with the baby, it is very scary to think of the consequences.

mumoo

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 2:57 pm

the vast majority of times nothing happens when we do something dumb baruch Hashem! but what about that one time? I tend to have a lot of bitachon in comparison to my worrying mother and sisters but in areas where we have the control-why take chances

do you women who are ok with leaving a baby home alone also drive without seatbelts, leave your house/car doors unlocked, walk in dangerous neighborhoods at night, leave children unsupervised in swimming pools?

are you just of a cavalier mindset all around?

please don't tell me that crossing the street is dangerous and flying in an airplane and bathing have their dangers. I know, I just am curious where the line is drawn

mimsy7420

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 3:25 pm

Ruchel wrote:

only1 wrote:

I don't get why this is in the controversial topics section.

it's not even controversial - it's just plain dumb.

LOL!

This is controversial because in some countries/culture it is more accepted than others. I have heard of babies left alone for hours, and toddlers for a night....

In the olden days, they used to swaddle their babies, give them opium to make them sleep the whole day, and hang their swaddled blanket from the ceiling so they won't crawl around. I wonder how many women came home to find dead babies. Sad

But TODAY we know better!!!

Raisin

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 4:02 pm

Statistically I wonder what is more dangerous: Leaving your infant asleep in a cot, or driving with them in a car - in a car seat.

I would imagine more children die from car accidents than from being left home alone for short periods. Ch'v not that I would do that (leave my kid home alone), I just think nowadays more people die from car accidents than ANY other type of mishap. We do everything we can to protect our kids, people are way more fanatical about child safety nowadays than ever, yet the one thing that kills so many people (not too mention the planet) our cars, we won't give up.

Not even talking about the major deterioration in our lifestyles caused by cars. Cars have their place, but are way overused.

mimsy7420

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 4:05 pm

Raisin wrote:

There is a big difference between accidents and neglect.

Raisin

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 4:12 pm

Putting your kid in a big metal box on a dangerous road full of other big metal boxes, some of them driven by drunks, some of them driven by teenage boys, some by 90 year olds. Thats ok. Leaving your kid for 5 minutes alone in his cot is not.

I think if a martian would land on this planet he would think we're all mad.

(Just playing devils advocate. Yes I do use a car. Just wish I didn't have too. They haven't heard of school buses where I live.)

yoyosma

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 6:37 pm

Well, I know some people will scream at me, but I will admit to leaving my baby asleep while I run out to get DD from the bus. I live in an apartment building on the first floor. I will go into the lobby and wait by the door, or I will stand waiting outside by my kitchen window to hear if anything is amiss. If she is awake, I bring her out with me.
Also, if my baby is asleep, safely in her swing or bed, I will take a shower. Is that neglect? I dont know. I am never more than a few steps away (tiny apartment), but why should I wake a sleeping baby if I am SO close to her proximally?

mumoo

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 7:10 pm

yoyosma wrote:

this doesn't sound like a problem to me. the instigating post was a mother drove away for almost an hour. you are in your building, at least with it in sight-to see intruders, fire, ch'v and only minutes away from a crying baby