leaving a baby alone

greenfire

Mon, Dec 04 2006, 3:56 pm

Yes it depends on the child - however when they are at least 8 years old. The depth perception and distance perception under this age are not reliable. Imagine what u would feel if u found out that on one such instance a child gets hit by a car. WHAT WOULD U DO THEN children rely on us to protect them and teach them - at the right age - not when it's convenient for U

shoy18

Mon, Dec 04 2006, 4:38 pm

[quote="chen"]

shoy18 wrote:

Technology is so advanced that if you tend to go to the neighbor who is just seconds away from your house, then buy a baby monitor with a screen they do make them and if your willing to leave the child alone its the least you can do to make sure god forbid nothing happens while you aren't home.

quote]

do you have any idea how long it takes a fire to spread through a house? Seconds. yes, seconds. when journalists talk about a fire "racing" through a house, they are not being poetic. they are being literal.

so Mama with her hitech baby monitor--which is intended, BTW, to help a mother keep an ear out for her baby's crying while she is in the house, not while she is outside-- can hear her baby scream and she can't get to him through the flames. very comforting, to be sure.

Chen, please understand I would NEVER leave a child home alone, all I was saying if your going to be that stupid maybe invest in one of them so you can at lease see the kid you leave.

Not to scare anyone but this happened a family in my neighborhood, while a ladys husband was in shul she had gone to a neighbor with her baby RIGHT NEXT DOOR for a little while, and her hub came to pick her up with the rest of the kids and they went home, and they opened the door and their ENTIRE house blew up, I mean silverware in thier kitchen was across the street, apparently the flame went out and the house filled with gas..... Could you imagne GOD FORBID she left her baby alone!!!!!!!!!! BH BH no one was hurt but thier house was nonexistant!

Chaya123

Tue, Dec 05 2006, 11:08 am

JRK, thanks for your insightful posts.
Yoyo- I wasn't referring to taking a shower while a baby is sleeping in her crib. I was rather referring to actually leaving a child sleeping herself with no supervision.
While you may take offense from my comment, I will explain to you where I'm coming from. Yes, I do have one child B"H so maybe I can't relate to those who have many. However, I waited for this child for over 5 yrs after my marriage and went thru tremendous pain and stress until I got there. So, to me, just the thought of carelessly abandoning a child "even just for 5 min" bec it's "inconvenient" is appalling! Sorry that I can't relate to you but neither can you relate to me!

yoyosma

Tue, Dec 05 2006, 11:22 pm

Chaya, you know nothing about how long I waited for my children, so that point is irrelevant. You stand guard over your baby as long as you want, Hashem should bench you that you have as many as you want that you will wish for those days when you could stand still watching your baby.

I still maintain that a sleeping baby doesnt have to come into the shower with you and that you can wait on your porch for carpool if your baby is safely inside.

Sregion28

Wed, Dec 06 2006, 12:12 pm

http://www.nccic.org/poptopics.....itter

Here are the guidelines for leaving kids home alone, or babysitters. Not all states are listed but you can see from the ones that are what the general guidelines are.

I think that there needs to be common sense used here. There's been a lot of argument on this topic and I think it comes down to one thing- "whats the worst thing that could happen, and are you close enough to your child right now to prevent it?"

For example - taking a shower when your baby is in his crib, sleeping. If it's a baby who can't climb out yet, (not a 1 year old who could learn at any minute how to, im referring to a small baby) the worst thing that could happen is that he would cry for a few minutes. Sad for the baby? Maybe. Dangerous or illegal? No. (bringing a baby monitor in the bathroom solves this problem).

But an older baby who could climb out? He could be playing with the stove by the time you come out of the shower.

And in terms of leaving the house - NEVER OKAY! Fires take 2 minutes to engulf an entire house. If you're not close enough to hear your child cry or hear that fire detector, you are too far away.
Again, baby monitors can solve these problems if you just want to go on the porch, in the backyard, or across the hall to the neighbors house for a minute.
But LEAVING THE HOUSE COMPLETELY FOR A PERIOD OF TIME? To go to the store or somewhere else? It's scary to think about what could happen.

square_peg

Fri, Dec 08 2006, 9:53 am

shanie5 wrote:

I remember a neighbor of mine telling us that after she had one of her children, her mik nite was friday. her dh went from shul to walk her home. the kids left home were ages newborn-low teens (13 or so is my best guess).
well, an alarm went off and the police showed up. the kids begged the police to believe them that their parents just went for a quick walk. the police left, promising to come back later-which they did. BH they were all together and singing shabbos zemiros when the police returned. (they probably left the first time cuz the older kids were responsible types, but think of the what ifs there..............)

I was babysitting other people's family of 6 by the time I was 13...

Imaonwheels

Thu, Dec 21 2006, 5:38 am

I see that a lot of dancing is being done here. JRK is right on. I was a dependent and neglected children worker. We would come in some mornings to find nice shiney new folders for children who had been left in cars, alone at home or outside somewhere inappropriate w/o supervision. My co-worker just said to me once,"Yours". He went to visit a client and saw in another window a baby alone. He called the police, filed and brought me the papers. Prosecution will happen and getting the child back is no easy deal. Those folders go into the same drawers as the beaten, molested, dirty and starved children.

Anecdotes go both ways, do you want to take the chance?
Where I grew up a neighbor was getting into the car to shop in a place so close that she was only taking the car to shlep the stuff. The baby was asleep. In the car already she had a nervous feeling even though she left him in the past. She b"h went back into the house and got the baby and put him in the carseat and left. While she was gone a troubled teenager who had fought with her dh threw a firecracker and lit cigarette butt into the window and it started a large fire. They found the burnt dog under the bed.

I had a 1 1/2 yr old who was asleep wake up, get out of the crib and stand on the sill of the open 4th fl window. I also came just in time by ness because of a feeling. I felt that the quiet was too "loud" so I came to check on him. In a house w/a lot of small children quiet is the most suspicious sound.

If there is no extremely pressing necessities don't take chances. I have no prob to go to my next door neighbor to borrow something. I wouldn't go to drink coffee and shoot the breeze. I also hate this new fad some of the young people have here. They opened themselves a gemach for the babysitter machine and put it by a neighbor and go out for the evening.

Marion

Thu, Dec 21 2006, 6:35 am

Imaonwheels wrote:

I also hate this new fad some of the young people have here. They opened themselves a gemach for the babysitter machine and put it by a neighbor and go out for the evening.

Do you mean a TV?

BTW, while I wouldn't leave the baby home alone, I HAVE considered putting him to bed and taking the monitor up to the neighbours to keep an ear out. It wasn't practical though. If I never went anywhere out of earshot I'd never get anything done. I can't hear him over the washing machine and water in the sink to do dishes. I can't hear him out checking the mail in the front of the house (although I CAN hear him in the back if I'm hanging out laundry).

bandcm

Thu, Dec 21 2006, 8:14 am

I definitely learned my lesson with this.
I opened my apartment front door (when I only had one baby). My baby was playing on the floor a few feet away from the door. All I wanted to do was put the garbage bag in the hallway for my husband to see when he came home from shul, to take it to the trash.
I put the bag down but then it fell over, and was sticking out into the hallway so I went another step to right it. Just then a gust of wind slammed the door shut, and of course my baby was still inside. We were a few feet apart, but I couldn´t get to him, because I don´t take a key along every time I open my front door.
Thank G-d I was wearing a skirt and shirt, because at that time of the morning it is very normal for me to still be in pyjamas. However, I was wearing a beret, no socks and slippers - I would NEVER go out without a sheitel and socks. BUT!
I ended up running to my grandmother´s house, she has our spare key, but she wasn´t home, ran back to my building, banged on a neighbour´s door, he got a scary lloking tool, climbed on out shared fire escape and sawed the safety bars of my window open. He came back into his apartment carrying my by then screaming baby.
Since then I am paranoid about leaving the kids for even a second.

amother

Thu, Dec 21 2006, 10:35 am

My mother-in-law was watching my kids recently for the day. Before we left we knew she would have to move her car for the street cleaner so my husband put the car seats in the car and told her: DO NOT LEAVE THE KIDS IN THE HOUSE BY THEMSELVES WHEN YOU GO MOVE YOUR CAR. TAKE THEM WITH YOU.
she told us again and again not to worry about it, that she'll take care of it, it will be fine.

Right before it was time for her to move her car, we called her from where we were and reminded her to take the kids with her. My husband told her clearly: "I am scared that you are telling me not to worry about it but in the end you will do what you want and leave the kids in the house."
She assured us that she wouldn't leave them and it would be fine.

A few days later she tells me: "Of course I left them by themselves, do you think I'm crazy enough to bring two kids with me when I'm just going for two minutes to move the car? I dont even know how to work the buckles on their carseats."

I am still in a bit of shock that I left my 3 year old and 1 year old with her and she went against our one specific instruction. I feel terrible about the "What If's" that could have happened. All I know is that never again can I leave her alone with my kids.
Sad

Imaonwheels

Thu, Dec 21 2006, 1:17 pm

Marion wrote:

Imaonwheels wrote:

I also hate this new fad some of the young people have here. They opened themselves a gemach for the babysitter machine and put it by a neighbor and go out for the evening.

No, I mean the monitor.