religious questioning...

amother

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 4:41 pm

So...does anyone out there ever question the validity of all this?? I mean the validity of the Torah really coming from Hashem...if everything we've spent our lives doing is really real?? -objectively speaking. curious to know the level of philosophical questioning ppl are going thru...time of life it's occurring and what you're doing with the emotional component of all this...I guess I've always had questions on some level -an d it's sort of complexly coupled with my frumkite!- and want to know abt ppl who feel the same.

AlwaysGrateful

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 5:33 pm

Sure, all the time Smile

I guess I was lucky enough to have friends that I could ask questions to in high school and seminary, and we'd hash out the answers. I also did a lot of reading about hashkafa. Sure, there were times when I had major questions - especially in high school and seminary - and I didn't always get the answers right away. At this point, it's less common for me to question on a deep level, but it happens. Often, something will be bothering me for a little while until I finally sit down and think it out, talk it out with dh or a friend, or ask a mentor for a possible answer. Again, I don't always get an answer right away, but because I've already "questioned" most of the big stuff and gotten answers that made perfect sense to me (existence of G-d, validity of the Torah), I don't mind waiting for the answers for the little stuff (how could good people do such bad things, etc.). Often they're not intellectual questions anymore, more emotional.

amother

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 5:36 pm

All the time. Sometimes I wonder if maybe we're all confused and the universe happened by accident.

Then I say modeh ani, cover my hair, dress from my wrists to my neck to my toes, put coins in the pushka, feed my kids a kosher breakfast, take them to cheder ...

I work on having faith, but if I have doubts or questions, at least I keep doing what I know I must.

I know this makes me sound nuts. It sounds nuts even to me. I wish I were brave enough not to do this anonymously. Anybody else out there ever feel like this?

sympa

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 5:38 pm

My religious questions usually surface when I'm feeling a hopeless or depressed - typically about something unrelated to religion. Often, however, I'm not thinking that logically at the time, anyway, so even good answers that I look up or ask don't really satisfy me (or make sense, lol). Often within a few days it passes, and those things don't bother me anymore anway.

amother

Wed, Dec 23 2009, 7:11 pm

ive had many questions, and I find naaseh venishma hard to do. so what ive done in the past is, depending on the question, find someone to ask.

a few years ago, my father passed away very suddenly and had way too many questions and could feel myself getting depressed. I made up a fake email account, and wrote questions to ask a rabbi at chabad.com.
real, serious sounding appikoris questions. I must say, that the Rabbi that answered me, answered me very well, and actually made me stronger.

if you have questions, you need to get answered. keep searching. do what it takes to get answers.

this is a religion based on emuna, but you also have to firmly believe in it. I wish you much hatzlacha!

amother

Thu, Dec 24 2009, 1:06 pm

amother wrote:

Im the amother who said she gave up on asking questions.

welcome to my life. I just do things cuz I know I am supposed to. Once in awhile I break down and cry that Im a fake but at least I still do it. I just hope I dont pass down my feelings to my kids.

rydys

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 8:57 pm

There is nothing wrong with asking questions, as long as you are honestly looking for answers.

Some people ask just for the sake of challenging. They will debate everything no matter what answer is given. Nothing is good enough. These people are not really asking to learn, they are questioning just for the sake of questioning. This is not good.

If, however, you are honestly asking to get answers, and are willing to be open to the answers given, go ahead and ask. Yiddishkeit is not a religion based on faith alone. The Torah encourages us to ask. We know it contains all the answers, we should look for them. Hashem wants us to come looking for Him. That is part of how we grow.

There are some people who do not seem to have any questions. That is OK for them. However, most people have questions at some point. You need to find a rov who is not afraid of questions, even if he does not know the answer. He will help you look for the answers. You can try some of the kiruv organizations like Aish Hatorah, AsktheRabbi, etc. These organizations are happy to hear from frum people with questions. By now, there are very few questions they have not heard and usually have good, well thought out answers.

Do not be afraid of honest questions. You can find the answers, you just have to look.

Yael3

Thu, Mar 15 2012, 12:49 pm

Rydys, thank you for posting such a thoughtful response!!
A great person to ask these types of questions is Rabbi Liff, he is the head of the mechina program in Har Nof (Yerushalayim). He's American so no worries if you don't speak Hebrew Wink

His email can be found on the Neve Yerushalayim website (mechina program).
Keep the questions flowing if you have them!! It is a sign that you are a thinking Jew, and Hashem gave us a brain to use it Smile

morah

Thu, Mar 15 2012, 1:00 pm

rydys wrote:

I like this, but I would add, that you have to also be willing to accept that there may not be an answer (or no satisfying one). There will always be a need to take a leap in faith for some things. You cannot conclusively prove the truth of the Torah or Hashem's existence- but neither can you conclusively disprove it. At some point, though, logic fails to suffice, and that's where emunah comes in. There are also things that are troubling- like, say, the mitzvah to kill ALL of Amalek, down to the babies. There is no good answer to that one IMHO, but I believe in Hashem and the truth of the Torah, and accept that if I can't figure this one out, it's due to my own limitations.

amother

Thu, Mar 15 2012, 1:15 pm

I honestly think that religon is all about 'faith'. No I don't really believe in aswers, I dont think there are answers for everything and I don't think there should be- if anything was 100% proved then everyone would have been religious.
Bottom line- you've got to make a desicion. you either choose to believe or not. Its totally fine either way.
But thinking, pondering, wondering and questioning- that's great. It takes you (or can take you) to a deeper place within youself and the deeper you go the deeper you can find g-d inside of you.

B+T Tali

Wed, Mar 21 2012, 1:02 pm

morah wrote:

There are also things that are troubling- like, say, the mitzvah to kill ALL of Amalek, down to the babies. There is no good answer to that one IMHO, but I believe in Hashem and the truth of the Torah, and accept that if I can't figure this one out, it's due to my own limitations.

This was very confusing for me, too. I asked a rav about this when I was seminary-age and he gave me something to read by Rabbi Aron Moss. He said that killing Amaleks was necessary at that time, and so it was commanded. But now that we don't even know who Amaleks are anymore, for sure anyway, the command continues as something internal, like to kill the feelings of hating parts of our Jewishness or being unholy.

It's hard for me to explain so I looked it up for you:

<<But this doesn't mean that Amalek has disappeared. Amalek is alive and well today, albeit in a different form. No longer a foreign nation, today's Amalek is an internal enemy. We each have an Amalekite lurking within our very self. The inner Amalek is unholy cynicism. That little voice inside each of us that derides, belittles and attacks truth and goodness; our irrational tendency to mock people who act morally, to be cynical when we see altruism, to doubt our own or other's sincerity - these are the modern day Amalekites. They wage a lethal war with our soul. If we let it, cynicism can kill our every attempt to improve ourselves and smother any move towards refining our character and expressing our soul.>>