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Seats

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sarahd

Tue, Dec 19 2006, 5:43 am

I agree with purple girl. It doesn't say anywhere in the laws of shiva that one must davka be uncomfortable or in pain when sitting shiva, just that the chair needs to be low (or the person should sit on the ground, which btw I have seen. More by Sefardim than Ashkenazim.) If someone is making comfortable chairs available for aveilim, who sometimes are sitting in them for 12-15 hours at a stretch, yasher koach to them!

chocolate moose

Tue, Dec 19 2006, 10:02 am

I really think that you all are confusing shiva with Tisha B'av!

Ribbie Danzinger

Tue, Dec 19 2006, 3:03 pm

Is there a difference between shiva and Tisha b'av? I thought that the same signs of mourning were applicable for shiva and Tisha b'av alike, although on TBA we obviously have other prohibitions too, like eating and drinking for example.

chocolate moose

Tue, Dec 19 2006, 4:52 pm

Ribbie, I think some of them, not all of them.

cindy324

Tue, Dec 19 2006, 6:56 pm

Quote:

think it's another symptom of the 'mitzvas have to be as quick and easy as possible' syndrome.

It's the same mentality that says buy little pre-filled-cups-of-oil-where-you-just-have-to-break-the-seal-and-light syndrome. Instead of putting the effort into pouring in the oil and arranging the wicks.

It's the same mentality that says buy
pre-packaged-and-wrapped-Shaloch-Monos syndrome.
Why go to all that trouble and make your own?

It's the same mentality as the get-some-cleaner-to-scrub-all-your-house-for-Pesach
-or-better-still-go-on-a-glatt-kosher-dream-Pesach-holiday
-and-someone-else-can-do-all-the -work
syndrome.

Quote:

being frum is difficult enough why not help ourselves out and make it easier

Quote:

It's a shame that you feel this way (about it being difficult to be frum).

Why? Do you think leading a frum lifestyle is easy? Good for you!

Do you feel that if you don't scrub the house Erev Pesach top to bottom all by yourself, with no cleaning help, than the mitzvah wasn't done properly? Maybe you do, but does your family feel the same when you're barely conscious at the Seder?

And I totally agree with mumoo. You don't have to end up a wrung out nervous wreck in order to perform Hashem's mitzvos. That surely isn't what HE wants from us.

ny21

Wed, Dec 20 2006, 5:21 pm

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

They supply Everything you can think of.

it seems that one call would do it all.

Last edited by ny21 on Mon, Jan 22 2007, 7:07 pm; edited 1 time in total

ny21

Wed, Dec 20 2006, 5:26 pm

purple girl - yes that is the org I am talking about.
they were great ! it 's good to keep their number handy.

supermom

Mon, Jan 22 2007, 3:59 am

When I was sitting shiva I was due two weeks later. And sitting lower than my couch (it was low as it is) with out the pillows would have been really hard on me. I was told that I was allowed to sit on the couch. When a person is sick or pregnant the laws change about everything in shiva.

ny21

Tue, Jan 30 2007, 4:38 pm

amother wrote:

I know of an agency "misaskim" that supplies e/t pple need when sitting shiva. I , however, dont have their phone #

yes this is the people who provided the service ,that I am talking about.

amother

Tue, Aug 28 2007, 4:13 pm

I sat shiva on my father's very uncomfortable couch (I think it had a broken spring), and I had hurt my back during a pregnancy fall a few months earlier. So I would have appreciated a seat I could tolerate that did not cause me additional pain.

Shiva IS supposed to be like the 9 days.

But physical and mental health are considerations. I took breaks where I would not accept visitors; I took a nap and even quickly checked email for condolence messages, and I took short cold showers. I once had a difficult postpartum depression and I was attempting to preserve my health.

How can judge the choices of people sitting shiva? We don't know all the details of their personal circumstances, or what they can reasonably handle.

chocolate moose

Tue, Aug 28 2007, 4:34 pm

amother wrote:

Shiva IS supposed to be like the 9 days.

not exactly. did you avoid meat during shiva?

Isramom8

Wed, Aug 29 2007, 5:41 am

I don't mean that shiva is like the 9 days as far as avoiding meat. I mean that I read that the 3 weeks, and the 9 days, and Tisha B'av are actually compared to shiva: While a personal person's mourning gradually lessens, during the month of Av, our national mourning increases till after Tisha B'av. Tisha B'av is compared to the day of death till burial, the 9 days are compared to shiva, the 3 weeks are compared to the sheloshim, or something like that.

shoshb

Wed, Aug 29 2007, 7:22 am

Quote:

After all, I've never seen people sitting on the floor

I have. I believe Morrocans and Yemenites do not sit on chairs at all during Shiva, but sit only on the floor. Not trying to prove a point or anything, just saying......

And I agree with Shalhevet. There is something to be said for the "process" that gets us ready to do a Mitzva. She's not suggesting that if you R"L break your hip two days before Pesach that you don't have any help just so you can be superwoman. She's saying that all else being equal, it's good to have a deeper experience of the Mitzva.

It's like when you see artwork on someone's wall. I may have beautiful pictures, but if my neighbor painted her pictures herself, it adds a whole other level of beauty to the house.

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