Have you ever wished you were a man?

amother

Tue, Dec 26 2006, 7:47 pm

I don't mean this in any kind of creepy s*xual way...but sometimes I think that they got the better deal. More opportunity to learn in depth; fewer household responsibilities. I love my children but I completely DESPISE housework, cooking, cleaning etc.. Before anybody starts jumping all over me, I am not some rampant feminist wanting to abolish the mechitzah. But I do feel like my husband is much more able to have a rich intellectual life than I can, primarily b/c the community supports it for men, and the responsibilities at home demand so much time. I find myself so, well, uninterested in many of the topics that women my age talk about at gatherings - shopping, cooking, children, makeup, blah blah blah. I do learn a few times a week, but it isn't nearly enough to be satisfying. And I feel guilty for feeling this way. I guess this is what Hashem had in mind for me, though.

technic

Tue, Dec 26 2006, 7:52 pm

the part I dont get is that these guys get up early every day and shiver their way 2 shul IN ORDER TO THANK G-D FOR NOT MAKING THEM A WOMAN - while were curled up snoring under our duvets!!!! - go figure!!! Twisted Evil

Flowerchild

Tue, Dec 26 2006, 8:03 pm

I also hate housework cant stand it, agh, but I love cooking I have fun with it. why dont you join a bookclub or something or go to shiurim, or creat a bookclub with your own friends, like chose a book between you guys and then read it and then discuss it amongst yourselves. get together with other women who are interested in learning and learn once a week or something. besides men are not as smart as you think they are, we just make them feel that way Wink

sister

Tue, Dec 26 2006, 8:50 pm

I would NEVER want to be a man.
as a woman you can be whoever you want to be, do not fit yourself in to a box because that will make you resent your life. free yourself from the shackles of strict gender roles and you may begin to love being a women!

red sea

Tue, Dec 26 2006, 10:01 pm

technic wrote:

guys get up early every day 2 shul IN ORDER TO THANK G-D FOR NOT MAKING THEM A WOMAN - while were curled up snoring under our duvets!!!! - go figure!!! Twisted Evil

LOL!

amother

Tue, Dec 26 2006, 10:22 pm

only when I get UTIs or yeast infections or have to worry about bedikas! basically - all the problems involved with that area sometimes make me wish...

bandcm

Wed, Dec 27 2006, 8:03 am

I have been jealous of my brothers, and then husband, on occasion, but if you would pin me to the wall and give me the choice right then, I would say, `No way!``
I like not having responsibility to never be wasting time, Shacharis, Rabbeinu Tam, Mincha, Maariv, Chitas, Rambam, learning, Maamar before davening.
If I get to daven and learn chitas, I´m amazing!
If my husband misses rambam one day, its terrible and he has to make it up the next day.
I also like being with it emotionally, understanding how people feel and what they are thinking. My husband is sometimes clueless - `Really? You think that´s what he thinks? How do you know?``

suomynona

Wed, Dec 27 2006, 8:09 am

The only reason I wish I was a man is because they don't have to decide what to wear. They can wear the same white shirt and black pants every day, at least in my circles.
In case you can't tell, I HATE shopping.

happy2beme

Wed, Dec 27 2006, 8:51 am

Honestly, the only time I've ever wanted to be a man was when I was younger on simchas torah. I used to want to dance so badly with such enthusiasm with the torah.

Any other time, no way! I enjoy being a woman. Yeah, I do not enjoy cleaning & cooking (although I like baking) but that's not what makes you a woman & it's not what defines you!
It's your softness in speech & action (I don't mean mellow- but c'mon, women are much softer than men in speech & action!!) it's your maternal instinct (how often r u right for no specific reason?), it's your beauty- inside & out, it's that special connection with your children that no one can ever have. it's a lot of things!

Plus, when you figure how much responsibilty they have... I'd rather have my responsibilities any time!

amother

Wed, Dec 27 2006, 10:40 am

Many times, especially when we are sitting around and the women are shmoozing about kids, clothes, cooking ect I mean all this has to get done but to talk and talk about it? On the other hand the mens conversations are way more intellectually based and I generally join that end of the conversations.
But I love being a mom to my kids , a wife to my husband, a nurturer and I embrace all my capacities and enrich myself with ongoing learning . Although it is hard to find female intellectual conversations, I suffice myself with learning alone and with my dh.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Dec 27 2006, 10:43 am

only on simchat torah, it justseems like a man friendly chag.

other than that, never. things seem more difficult and more things that they HAVE TO do.

amother

Wed, Dec 27 2006, 11:11 am

I discussed this with my 20 yr. old daughter.

We both agreed, despite our age differences , that we miss not having a gathering where frum women of all ages and backgrounds can come together and sing their hearts out (like the good old days of Bais Yaakov). Men do this while davening, at Tishen, etc. (I'm not Chassidish, but I think the singing would be very relaxing).

We can go to Shiurim, but it's not the same. Why does that type of gathering for women end at our school years?

Are we both strange? Rolling Eyes

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Dec 27 2006, 11:16 am

amother wrote:

I dont think that you are strange at all for that. I also looooooooooove singing. I have heard of such gatherings.
why dont you start something? I am sure that women would come.

amother

Wed, Dec 27 2006, 11:20 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

amother wrote:

I dont think that you are strange at all for that. I also looooooooooove singing. I have heard of such gatherings.
why dont you start something? I am sure that women would come.

Let's see if others agree w. us.

amother

Wed, Dec 27 2006, 11:23 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

amother wrote:

I dont think that you are strange at all for that. I also looooooooooove singing. I have heard of such gatherings.
why dont you start something? I am sure that women would come.

I forgot to mention that I'm in Brooklyn. In my area, no one, or very few at most, does anything in public, no matter how enjoyable or innocent, that they think others might view as strange.