How do you know if they're happy in playgroup?

superjew

Wed, Jul 04 2012, 10:43 am

My son is 2.5 ka'h and although he speaks everything, for the most part. He doesn't go into detail of what he does in playgroup etc... I ask him every day what he ate for lunch and he does tell me that but if I ask him what he did he won't answer. I ask him if he had fun, he says yes. If I ask details like did you swim? Did you color? He'll usually answer yes to all lol
He goes into playgroup very happy, waves good bye & all. (He wasn't like this at first, he's going for a while. Now his playgroup has daycamp so its the same surroundings for him)
When picking him up, hes neutral about seeing me/DH happy enough to see us but happy enough to stay sorta thing. Also, depends on the day. Once we get home though he's usually cranky (I believe due to hunger)
Here's my dilemma;
He had over a week off between playgroup ending & daycamp starting. During this time he went to a funcamp around the corner for 2 days - he seemed to love it. The rest of the days he stayed home, mostly with DH (when I worked, I work part time) Over this time he seemed to 'tame' down a bit. We broke him out of his defiant stage where he was testing us a lot. Due to consistent consequence etc and some other positive changes. Anyway, he was so happy mostly towards the end of the week off. Now he's back since Monday, and he is back to square one. Well, not AS defiant per say, but he is definitely more cranky, a lot more 'no's' A lot more tantrums & crankiness for no apparent reason. Today he found something that would tick me off -speaking like a baby- No idea where that came from but he randomly started using baby words and not making sense while kvetching. I told him to use his words & big boy voice. He kvetched louder. I ignored him while getting ready and then he just randomly stopped. Thats just one silly example. But he'll get upset about silly things. Argue about things that he usually wouldn't. Become cranky & have a WAY harder time snapping out of it. Etc It isn't that he wasnt this way before. Its just that he was, he stopped during time off and now is again. (stopped as in got better, still normal toddler behavior but more normal and not negative) Hope I'm being clear....
I feel like something is going on and I'm not sure if its playgroup/daycamp related.
It can be just usual toddler hood or maybe something is up and he just doesn't have the ways of expressing himself. Thats what I'm worried about. So-How do I know?
Is him going there happily enough of a sign? What about all this new crankiness & tantrums?

Thanks Mommies for your input!

gp2.0

Wed, Jul 04 2012, 10:55 am

Are they putting him down for an early nap in playgroup, like 12-2?

I noticed a HUGE difference in DD's behavior after the first day of playgroup, when she only napped from 2-3, and the second day, when she napped from 12-2. I notice a huge difference in her behavior when she gets more sleep altogether.

BTW if you want him to answer you more in detail just don't ask yes or no questions. Ask 'What color crayon did you use?' or 'Can you show me how you swam in the pool?' or 'Who did you swim with?'

Lilkingdom

Wed, Jul 04 2012, 11:08 am

It is very possible he is tired and that's why he's all cranky. Does he nap in playgroup?

Perhaps be in touch with his morah to find out if he's involved in a lot of fighting. Is he the kid who gives in all the time?

When my son started playgroup, he used to come home very cranky. I was in touch with the morah daily and it appeared like hes having a great time. Turns out he was simply tired by the time he got home. They napped him there daily and I saw a huge difference. Now he outgrew the nap and can handle a full day. He is also an extremely good kid in playgroup. Never starts fights and avoids them at all costs. Will give in all the time and never starts up. Because of that, he does get a bit more worked up at home because he needs to release his tension somewhere. I'd rather have my kid behave nicely in public and release tension at home. Much better than the other way around.

superjew

Wed, Jul 04 2012, 11:12 am

Sooo... this is where you're right. I do see a difference when he has a good night sleep. BUT he totally stopped his nap time. With us at home he too didn't nap. They say he stays in his carriage but he plays around, yaps and gets bored. (they have nap time at 12 or 1ish) He doesn't fall asleep. I noticed that he doesn't get tired until later in the day (when he's getting home from playgroup) but I don't want him to nap late. He goes to bed about 730 and sleeps till 730 or sometimes till 8 or later! Depends on him.
I don't want to make his night time earlier because it used to be that time but he woke up so early & more cranky.
Oh! And, I forgot to mention that past 3 nights he's been crying in the crib that he doesn't want to sleep yet. I bet it at over tiredness. But I keep thinking maybe he's anxious about something he can't express.
Rolling Eyes

Lilkingdom

Wed, Jul 04 2012, 11:21 am

you should put him to sleep by 7 then. he will wake up earlier the first few days because it does take time for his body to get used to the time change. eventually he will sleep just as long because if they fall asleep tired, they sleep longer and better. once overtired they don't sleep as well. A bath really helps! My kid falls asleep instantly after a bath. Does he understand to a sticker chart with a reward at the end of the week? Might work great for the 'no crying at bedtime' chart.
I allow my son to choose a book. (he just turned 3) and we read that book together before bedtime. I tell him a few times that I will only read the book if he goes to sleep nicely. It works, he loves sitting on my lap and hearing the story.

You said he's usually bored in playgroup. That might be a problem. Is it possible there is not enough stimulation for him there? Maybe a different playgroup would work better? Is he with age appropriate kids? Maybe put him in a class with kids a bit older.

MMCH

Wed, Jul 04 2012, 12:19 pm

so interesting to read that, its similar to my DD. shes 19 months, and has been going to daycare this past year while I finished school. For the most part I know she loves it the morah's tell me shes a delight, and she jumps into their arms in the morning. While she doesn't talk yet, I also notice that she came home soooo cranky. Like the transition btwn daycare and home for her was the hardest,she did not know what to do with herself. This past week btwn school and camp, it was just us and she was adorable! so well behaved, so cooperative, napped, ate, like all around great...I was starting to worry that something bothers her...
my dh said its just the over-tiredness of daycare, she doesn't nap well there, its alot going on, and she finallly has our attention all day long.

im trying to not let it bother me too much over all shes a good girl, shes healthy and thriving...so just try to stay positive?
good luck

superjew

Thu, Jul 05 2012, 12:12 pm

Yeah, I guess its a sleep thing, but I'm not sure. They say in playgroup he's happy there. He's very comfortable and they say just recently he is being a bit more agressive. Though the teacher told me they're working on it & its all normal not majorly worrying. He's this way at home too - bit better than it has been but he seems to just be going through the terrible two's now. Its hard when they're so smart. I had opened another thread about that a bit ago. But now, Im just wondering how I know if its just regular stuff (tired, toddler hood etc) or if there is something he's unhappy about. Is there a way to even really know? :/
I wish he would nap but he refuses. Rolling Eyes

See, when I put him to sleep earlier 7ish he never seemed happy when waking up. Now, he goes to sleep 730 (last night at 8 since we were out) and he sleeps WAY better and A LOT more. I see a difference when he wakes up. He is WAY happier. Yesterday and this morning he was a bit better and I thing he's just getting used to the schedule again.

Thanks vordale for your response, it made me feel better to know that this does happen to others as well. Smile