big sister worried about teen sister

amother

Fri, Jan 19 2007, 10:32 am

The sweetest girl in the world is my little sister. She is 10 years younger and the love of my childhood life. She is beautiful, bright and wonderful and everybody loves and trusts her...thats the problem. She has collected a group of very strange friends...the stories I hear from her shock me (and if you knew me, nothing shocks me). Her friends are on drugs, one died last month, they sleep around, get kicked out of school. Whenever I talk to my mother about this she says that my sister has a beauiful neshama and thats why so many needy people are attrcted to her. These crazy friends of hers end up living in my parents' house (with my even smaller siblings) and my parents are too hippied out to relize the danger. I was yelling my mother to get these kids out and discipline my sister but she told me she wont smuggle my sister's good will and free spirit. She then told me that I am selfish and she didnt raise me to not to care about others. They all insist that my sister is not involved in any of the things the "lost" children are doing. But how can she not be influenced when there is so much negativity around her. She is also very very very pretty and she hangs out with unsavory young men that always need to talk to her about some crisis in their life....GO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE, NOT MY SISTER!! I am so upset at my parents...they almost lost me ( I was a mess growing up) and now its happening to my sister. My parents are awesome, I LOVE THEM, they have an amazing relationship with all of us, the raised us to be independet, confident, kind...they love and trust us too much. How can I help them realize that my sister needs guidence? Or is this not my place and should I just back down?

greenfire

Sat, Jan 20 2007, 11:16 pm

I'm sorry but I would be worried about her too! However there is a niceness to helping people that no one else could care less about. Do you know for sure if she has taken drugs or done anything? You should definately have a heart to heart and see where you could help. Just let her know you're there through thick & thin and be understanding. This is always important in anyone's life dealing with these issues.

amother

Sun, Jan 21 2007, 10:33 pm

I'm also a big sis worried about my little sis...
just a very different story

my sister grew up with a learning disability. low self-esteem. always upset/depressed about not being rich, not having a fancy home, not doing well in school, etc.
her friends don't look like the best role models.
she has a boyfriend now...
but all this I have come to accept...so she's "modern." But...
I just heard she's possibly not keeping shabbos 100%....
I'm hoping it's jsut a stage...like my brothers went through...but I'm so worried...
I feel at such a loss...wish there was something I could do........
Crying

Ima'la

Mon, Jan 22 2007, 1:03 am

I think you are a great sister. It doesn't sound like you will have much success getting your parents to change their ways - I think you should stay very close with your sister. Shmooze with her, call her on the phone, invite her for Shabbos, etc. Be her friend. Don't underestimate how much a little sister looks up to her big sister. Or how much she may need a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and a place where she is accepted for who she is.