4 year old waking me up 4 times a night , help!!

ven

Mon, May 20 2013, 5:24 pm

my 4 year old wakes me up 4 times a night for no serious reason. he screams very loud until I come to see him and yes its about attention. I cant ignore him as he will wake all neighbours in my block. please give me tips !!

up north

Mon, May 20 2013, 7:14 pm

tell him he will get choc chips in the morn if he doesnt call you in the night. If not make some nice little flyers telling your block that you are sleep training ur 4 yr old and they shouldnt panic if they hear screaming you doubt it will be for more than a couple of nights. The problem is he has you over a barrel because he knows u are scared to disturb plp. You have to remove his power grip and get back in control of your nights. Tell him its naughty to steal mommys sleep, tell him you cant look after him properly in the day if you dont get a good nights sleep. Next time it happens lock ur bedroom door and shout to him you are not coming and he should go back to sleep. Dont go to him no matter what and the next night do the same and after that he wont call you again.

black sheep

Mon, May 20 2013, 7:21 pm

I know this is unconventional, but I always let me kids come into my bed in the middle of the night. usually at 4 years old, if they are calling for you in the middle of the night, they are feeling a lack of emotional comfort which only you can provide. for one particularly kicky kid (basically when he was in the bed no one else can sleep,) I used to let him bring his blanket and pillow and sleep on the floor next to my bed. and by contrast another kid would sneak into my bed so quietly I wouldn't even notice she was there until the morning. if they are coming to you or calling for you, it isn't for "no reason," it's because they need you, at least emotionally. I believe kids need their mommy in the middle of the scary dark night.

cranberry

Mon, May 20 2013, 9:11 pm

I had this problem with ds4. What worked for me was actually to work on bedtime. We had an issue that either dh or I had to stay in the room with them (he shares a room with ds3) until they fell asleep. We decided to tackle one problem at a time, starting with bedtime. We did it gradually, by telling them, okay, I'll be back in one minute, leaving the room, and coming back a minute later. Then I'd say I'll be back, and come back in a few minutes. Eventually we got to the point where I can put them to bed with a short routine (ds4 is very big with needing strict routines), say goodnight, and leave. They're usually asleep within a few minutes.

Once they got used to falling asleep on their own, they stopped waking up in the middle of the night. Of course we still have the occasional nightmares, wet bed, etc., but no more randomly waking up 3x a night. They still wake up. I hear them taking a sip of water. But then there's just the silence of them going back to sleep on their own.

ddsw

Mon, May 20 2013, 10:15 pm

the best thing that worked with my dd is a sleep chart. for every night that she stayed in her own bed and didnt call out for me she got a sticker in the morning. start small like 4 stickers equals a prize. then continue the chart just increase the amount of stickers he needs to get- from 4 to 7 to 13. encourage him and get him excited- tell him right before he goes to sleep I really want you to get your prize and I know you can get a sticker tonight. keep the chart right by his bed so he sees it when you are not in the room.