Shoes and briefcase help for girls. In Lakewood

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 2:46 pm

To make a long and painful story short, my DD ( going into 5 th grade) is having social trouble. Part of it is her lack of skills, which she is getting help for, part of it is bullying and nastiness by other kids, which the school claims they're handling.
They suggested we get her more stylish shoes and briefcases. However, she has super wide feet, and the shoes in the Jewish stores just don't fit.
Can someone guide me what kind of shoes and briefcase I should be looking at for her? I know a knapsack isn't " in" but what is "in"?
And since her school only allows navy, grey or black shoes, how stylish can they be already?!
I'm not looking to spend a lot of money on this......
Anon cuz I've asked ppl IRL but haven't gotten much info.....

MyKidsRQte

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 3:09 pm

Have you tried Tescher's? They may be more expensive, but they should be able to help you. PM me for their number

bubbebia

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 4:02 pm

Since when is a backpack not "in"? While I no longer have school aged kids and I don't live in Lakewood, every kid I know, including my grandsons, use a backpack. 10 yo girls are generally into sparkly pink and purple stuff. Look in that direction. Or is that kind of thing assur too?

sarahd

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 4:41 pm

My friend in Lakewood just bought a messenger bag for her 10 year old. She says that's what all the girls use for their briefcases.

(Her daughter attends a very chassidish school, so the styles might be different among the litvish crowd.)

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 5:16 pm

Im in lakewood too and my son is having social issues....who are you using for help for your daughter? I'm loooking into it for my son and would like to hear recommendations.

Simple1

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 6:44 pm

My dd, 9yo is asking for a messenger bag. You can look at Packs Unlimited in the Rite Aid plaza and they can give you advice on what the girls her age are using.

It is frustrating to have to buy the "right" stuff just to fit in. Otherwise I would be able to get very inexpensive shoes.

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 7:56 pm

Buy her a Kipling if you want her to be in. My dd is also going into fifth grade and she has one for three years already. You don't need a messenger bag my dd had one last year and it was so uncomfortable that she only wants a backpack this year. But you do need a Kipling it will make ur dd feel great.

Also if you want in shoes you can buy her Atlantas. My dd can also only wear the color shoes you describe but trust me it's not the color of the shoe but the style.

My dd is pretty popular so I dont worry what other kids do but if you want ure dd to feel good you should buy this.

Also buy her cute accessories as in pencil case and pencils and erasers and notebooks and cute socks too.

One more thing make sure her hair is neat every day. You don't realize what a difference that makes.

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 8:02 pm

thanks for all the tips!
Where is the rite aid plaza? for some reason I'm blanking on it....
I cannot afford a kipling bag for my dd..... and pink/purple sparkly stuff are a big no no in the school- it is a chassidish school.
Same with accessories and school supplies- they are supposed to be only the plainest ones, so tell me how it could be not stylish?! I haven't figured that one out yet.
What really bugs me about this, is her principal acts so holier than thou and preaches this that and the next thing, yet she is the one pushing my dd to be more 'shtoty'.... I really don't get the double standard.

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 8:04 pm

to the amother who wanted details- my dd is going to Miriam Lowinger, who is amazing!
She started w/ her in school and continued over the summer. She really gave my dd concrete things to use in dealing w/ other kids. Good luck!

sara53

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 8:16 pm

Maybe Im very naïve, as Im not in the school parsha yet.

But if the school is not providing a pool, library, science lab, state of the art computer room, etc... for free (as in Public school)

Yet otoh, the children are still cruel, mean, shallow, superficial, and the school isn't teaching compassion,
'rachmanim, bayshonim, gomel chasidim', traditional Jewish values, whats the point exactly..

This thread is very scary.. Should I move to a very small OOT community, homeschool ???

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 9:31 pm

You can get a Kipling bag for $50. You are spending so much on therapy think of it as therapy.
What kind of briefcase does the popular girls have? Why don't you ask your daughter what the other girls do?

Pandabeer

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 9:37 pm

amother wrote:

where can you find kipling for $50? I Only saw for $80

greenfire

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 9:46 pm

it's always good to look put together ... unfortunately girls tend to judge outer appearances ... but if you look hard enough you can find the "in" things for less expensive - when they have markdowns or last years styles that are usually close enough to the current styles

totally agree with making sure she looks neat & clean everyday when she leaves the house - not just her hair brushed proper - but her uniform shirt pressed & not stained ...

good luck !!!

greenfire

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 10:20 pm

http://www.amazon.com/Kipling-....._sg_3

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004W.....TIIB8

I've purchased jansports for my kids years ago & they are all still in good condition

at $35 they have a wide variety of prints & colours too

http://www.jansport.com/shop/e.....-t501

these are $45 but a little bigger

http://www.jansport.com/shop/e.....-tdn7

Simple1

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 10:58 pm

You don't need to get the Atlantas; Venettini has the same look for cheaper (though it's still not cheap).

I agree your dd can look good without spending too much if she's clean and put together and the clothing fit and or are in good condition. Regarding the school bag, if you want to spend less, you can look for something that looks like the better bags, ex, you can avoid cheapy looking designs, or bags that look too "babyish" for her age.

You can by a nice fat ribbon for her hair and tie it nicely. Or if you want to spend more, by an accessory from a store like Accents. Find out what the girls are wearing to school.

amother

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 11:40 pm

that is the point of my post- to try to find out what the girls are wearing bec. I don't feel comfortable asking the other mothers.
She does look clean and neat- except her hair is super curly so it's hard to look so sleek like the other girl's pony tails.
Thanks greenfire, but I can't spend 45 dollars on a breifcase- 20 or 25 is prob the max I can spend, pref less if possible.
The venetti shoes are all too narrow on her- she has really wide feet. I took her to so many places, but we always have to go w/ stride rite shoes, which are considered nebby in her school, apparently.

vintagebknyc

Sun, Aug 11 2013, 11:42 pm

amother wrote:

try ebay. I always check there first