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Forum
-> The Social Scene
-> Chit Chat
Are you frum from birth or ba'ale teshuva?
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| FFB |
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40% |
[ 13 ] |
| BT |
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59% |
[ 19 ] |
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| Total Votes : 32 |
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amother
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 Wed, Mar 28 2007, 10:56 am
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Its so beautiful how today there are so many baalai teshuva. To the frum from birth ppl, we couldnt have done it without you!
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Mitzvahmom
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Wed, Mar 28 2007, 10:57 am
BT for 11 years  OY sorry I think it's 12 years now..lol
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Chani
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Wed, Mar 28 2007, 11:54 am
Want to add one for giyores? or should I just mark "frum from birth" - afterall, it's true! 
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amother
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Wed, Mar 28 2007, 11:56 am
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Oh My gosh! Sorry! I just kind of think of ppl who are gerim as always Jewish.
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shalhevet
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Wed, Mar 28 2007, 11:57 am
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And you need another option for mitchazek or something. I grew up MO; now I'm yeshivish/ Litvish.
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amother
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Wed, Sep 19 2007, 7:19 pm
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many years BT and I don't tell anyone. Some know, others would never guess.
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mushmom
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Wed, Sep 19 2007, 8:04 pm
amother- why not?
DH and I are both from FFB families, but we always preferred BT's as people and friends, and describe ourselves as BT-wannabes. I always found BTs to be so much more emotionally and intellectually developed, cooler people, and much more enjoyable company than FFBs.
(No need to pounce on me- I know its a generalization but this has been our experience)
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greenfire
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Wed, Sep 19 2007, 9:54 pm
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you obviously know there is a variety of people in this world ... irl and here on imamother ... and there are more than just 2 options ...
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amother
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Wed, Sep 19 2007, 9:59 pm
you wouldn't believe it  
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amother
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Wed, Sep 19 2007, 10:34 pm
not the first amother, but another amother who is bt but never admits it and no one knows!
ok, some people know cuz of some not frum family at simchas, etc., but most people don't.
I guess it's different everywhere, but I feel like people expect a whole lot less of bts. so many times I hear excuses, well, he/she is a bt, so it's ok. no it's not! people just talk to you differently if you say you're a bt, like they stop using hebrew/yiddish expressions, and I just find it condescending. since no one knows that I'm even a bt, it means that I've obviously caught up in my learning, and I happen to be fluent in both hebrew and yiddish-- more than a lot of ffbs that I know!
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amother
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Wed, Sep 19 2007, 11:03 pm
I am the first secretive amother. Other amother, it's nice to know someone who gets it. Even those who extol our virtues still seem to harbor a certain negative feeling. In the beginning I was so excited and told anybody. The immediate change in attitude and friendship was obvious. I have since moved and very few people know. I am more accepted, and other parents let their children come over and actually EAT by me!
Mushmom-maybe I am one of those "so much more emotionally and intellectually developed, cooler people, and much more enjoyable company than FFBs." So people could still enjoy my company without having to know my yichus.
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southernbubby
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 12:18 pm
Even those BTs who are so knowledgeable that they can pronounce every word properly, speak the language, and are very learned, will have to divulge their yichus when their children marry.
I was born to Jewish parents but because I am from KY, there were people who wanted to ascertain that I was born Jewish when it became time to marry off our children. Most people want to know the yichus of the parents of a child when considering that child for a shidduch.
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mummiedearest
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 12:27 pm
southernbubby--
even people who are FFB's have been finding that some of their yichus does not check out. in many cases, unfortunately, people have found that their grandmothers had improper conversions to judaism. quite sad...
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southernbubby
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 12:37 pm
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Exactly, mummiedearest. Whatever the origin, people what to know who they are letting their child marry.
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MrsLeo
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 1:29 pm
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I'm none. Im not frum from birth cuz my parents werent frum wen I was born but im not BT either cuz I was too young (4) to know that my parents were becoming frum, and I got the same jewish education that any ffb would get, I just didnt have it from wen I was born, only from wen I went to school and I dont remember before then so I dont really consider myself BT.
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Raisin
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 1:54 pm
We need a lot of options here!
BT
FFB
Giyores
Child of BT's
Child of BT and FFB
Child of Gerim
child of Ger and Bt
Child of Ger and ffb
Became more frum than than my parents
Parents became Bt when I was very young
[/list]
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southernbubby
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 2:10 pm
Until there became a BT movement, there was no such term that was commonly used. A cousin of mine, who is a generation older than me, married a frum man and moved to NY and attended Rabbi Avigdor Miller's shul. Nobody told her that she couldn't wheel the carriage on Shabbos and people looked at her strangely until her husband realized what she was doing and explained it. She said that she was all alone in becoming frum and there were none of the resources that returning Jews have today. She soon became a mainstream member of the community and married off her children and did a lot of community work. At this point in her life no one would regard her as a BT because she did it before it became a trend.
Her mother decided to move across the street from her and her mother eventually had to keep a kosher and shomer Shabbos house in order for the grandchildren to come over. I guess that when people looked into her children they found out what her background was but the BT stigma did not exist then.
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LisaS
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 2:17 pm
I grew up very traditional and went to dayschool so when I decided to become BT around 8th grade it wasn't like I was starting from scratch. Most people don't know unless they are a close friend or extremely perceptive. That is, I am proud of it but also happy there isn't too big a gap between me and FFB.
I feel it the most when it comes to something like Hilchot Shabbat. Someone FFB knows instinctively that X is muksa or Y is allowed cause they saw it in their parents home and I don't have that foundation.
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