Baalas Teshuva or Frum from birth?

amother

Thu, Sep 20 2007, 4:30 pm

I am a geyores and I tell no one!!!
I told one person in the community and that is the single biggest mistake I have made in five years. I know I am going to have to move someday.

I am not ashamed I am a geyores, but there are a lot of problems and controversies these days even with kosher conversions. (every ger or geyroes should check with the Rabbinut in Jerusalem and Bdatz Jerusalem to make sure their conversions are still okay). My rabbi suddenly was banned by the Rabbinut for doing too many conversions (my beis din was black hat hareidi!) and I was thrown out of my home by dh with my 9 month old child at the behest of a Rabbi!

b'h I did not have to get re-married, but did a giur l'chumra along with my son approved by B'datz.

So my advice to converts...get your conversion checked out periodically and Tell No one!!! Exclamation

amother

Thu, Sep 20 2007, 5:08 pm

amother wrote:

Kicked out by D(dear??)Husband..?
Generally if there is a problem found with a conversion and the couple ismarried, they quickly do another dunk again.
Well I guess you are ultra chareidi.. if you were normal orthodox you wouldn´t have to HIDE your status.. too sad.. Rolling Eyes

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Sep 20 2007, 5:23 pm

Ruchel wrote:

for me too since they are frum from birth... it may change their situation for shidduchim, but for "label" I don't see how they could not be ffb!

I think that that is really really sad, that someone would change their minds or situation if someone was a BT or an FFB?

why would it matter? I dont know, I went out with a ger, a divorcee, many BTs, I just dont see the big deal, but who knows, maybe im weird.

Ruchel

Thu, Sep 20 2007, 5:39 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

for me too since they are frum from birth... it may change their situation for shidduchim, but for "label" I don't see how they could not be ffb!

Well, it's sad but as in some circles you don't ask "private" questions, people don't want to take risks and just skip Bts or gerim. I mention that not all of them have a "past" every time the topic comes up, but many people just won't ask. Sad

I can tell you that when I make shidduchim with my friends and one of them tells me "no, he/shes' a bt/ger" I ask if THAT's the problem or if they fear something else they won't ask, and generally it's the second option so there is a chance the shiduch can be made...

You also have those who want yichus, but need to think a bit more: a BT can have killer yichus and a ffb not know who is great great grandfather is (which doesn't mean there is no yichus either, but yeah).

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Sep 20 2007, 5:42 pm

Ruchel wrote:

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

for me too since they are frum from birth... it may change their situation for shidduchim, but for "label" I don't see how they could not be ffb!

the tichus thing: my husband is a BT and he has a bit of yichus in his family, me, im an FFB and have none, so.........

Ruchel

Thu, Sep 20 2007, 5:53 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

for me too since they are frum from birth... it may change their situation for shidduchim, but for "label" I don't see how they could not be ffb!

the tichus thing: my husband is a BT and he has a bit of yichus in his family, me, im an FFB and have none, so.........

It makes sense. The son/grandson of a gadol can go off the derech c'v, and a very regular family can stay frum!

If we think about it, a ger from a Jewish father can also have yichus, unless you believe that the non Jewishness and/or the conversion breaks the family links. But genetically it's there.

tzatza

Fri, Sep 21 2007, 9:02 am

About all of the above... I and DH are BTs (very proud of it and never cover up). Now, interestingly, our greatgrandparents were frum and there were some big rebbeim in the lineage. Once (years ago) I saw a picture of a whitebearded rebbi in my in-laws house and asked them who it was. My MIL said it was a relative, but she didn't know his name (picture was passed down to her). When we looked into matter closer, guess who it was?! Chofetz Haim!!!
(don't throw stones, but I was (and still am) not so familiar with gedolim's faces).

amother

Sat, Sep 22 2007, 6:02 pm

I'm saying the rav who did my conversion was banned by the Rabbinut Overnight! (and he is black hat haredi!) Forever! Just because they suspected a financial motive because he was doing "too many of them" (and I had no idea while I was doing the conversion) That is why it is a good idea to keep checking.

Alternatively, I think I would just do a giur l'chumra with eidat chareidi or any beis din approved by them, just to assure that in the future there are not problems!

(you never know what can happen with an Orthodox conversion that is not done under the auspices of Bdatz Yirushalaim, or some other very prestigious Beis Din....I know of a friend whose Orthodox conversion was pusiled because a guy on her beis din went off the derech (not all betei din for conversions use 3 rabbis...some may use a member who is an upstanding member of hte community and shomer Shabbos etc...they are still kosher, but..) She almost had to do th whole thing over again, but in the end they let her take another dunk.

mugsisme

Sun, Sep 23 2007, 12:48 am

I became a BT at 15. That was 26 years ago. At what point in my life does it no longer matter? It used to bother me a lot, especially when I was in sem. But now? who cares. It is a part of who I am, and I did not get to pick which family I was born into. BTW, my mom is frum too, as well as my brother.

Hmm, in another four years, I will have been frum 2/3rds of my life! Cool.