Do you feel beautiful/comfortable with yourself?

greenfire

Sun, Apr 08 2007, 12:34 pm

a [gentile] a jew ... what's with the differentiation ... if s/t is not nice it's to all ... humans alike

the stores are there for us to browse ... just don't lead anyone on ...

withhumor

Sun, Apr 08 2007, 12:36 pm

Trust me, I don’t check my lipstick before I walk in, and I’m not wearing a fur coat. An assumption is theirs to make, I’m not provoking them.

mannyzmom

Sun, Apr 08 2007, 1:13 pm

I dont think you have to ask a shaila about it, thats not what I said. just letting you know the halacha - if you say to the salesperson youre just browsing then obviously its not a problem, but if you ont then halachically its like stealing. just wanted to let you know.
I dont think it should matter what you look like when you shop. I prefer not looking fancy bc I prefer salespeople not bugging me and asking me questions all the time.

Mitzvahmom

Sun, Apr 08 2007, 1:25 pm

stealing!??!

But what if u try on an outfit and it looks HORRIBLE. All purposes u wanted to buy an outfit but it looks awful, isn't that the point of the store so you can try it on before you take it home?!

I donot understand how it's stealing

Ruchel

Sun, Apr 08 2007, 1:27 pm

But mannyzmom, unless the salesperson comes and asks me, I cant go to her and tell her "hello, by the way I'm just looking not planning to buy"?? it would be just weird... and what about when I don't know and might end up buying?

Mitzvahmom

Sun, Apr 08 2007, 1:30 pm

I had that situation happen, I felt soo bad..

But the outfit looked horrible! They even tried to give me an alternative shirt..

But the skirt made me look so fat

withhumor

Sun, Apr 08 2007, 1:30 pm

How about when I don’t know if I will have a tantrum and tell dh the only way I’m leaving that store is WITH those $8,000 shoes…

greenfire

Sun, Apr 08 2007, 1:35 pm

I usually say "just browsing" when one of them is following me ... and sometimes on the way out of a store I say "thank you" so they know even though I cannot buy anything I appreciate their service ... but that is usually if they don't bother me while I browse ...

lotte

Sun, Apr 08 2007, 1:41 pm

It's true there is a halacha about it its called:Hona'a.its a certain kind of a lie/ or misleading.
When I originally started this thread I meant that my friend does not feel comfortable among other gorgeous shoppers.she means eveybody is skinny,latest fashion,make up,facial surgery..etc.
You got to the point if its rigth or wrong to browse ...ask prices etc...

withhumor

Sun, Apr 08 2007, 1:48 pm

You know the old joke about the beggar who used to sit by the restaurant door every day and sniff and sniff and finally one day he got so enticed, he went in and ordered a meal. But he couldn’t pay so the owner took him to court. He sued him not only for eating the meal and not paying, but for days of ‘enjoying’ the tantalizing smells. So the beggar paid up, how? How jingled some coins in his pocket and said I am hereby paying you off with the sound of my money.

Tila

Wed, Apr 11 2007, 1:54 pm

I know I am ugly, over weight, and old, but I do not make a big deal outta NOT giong places. I will put on make up, dress well, and try to feel better.

mannyzmom

Sat, Apr 14 2007, 9:15 pm

only saw the replies to what I wrote now - ofcourse if your intentions are to buy its ok to try on and to look. but if you know for sure youre not buying bc you cant afford 8000$ shoes or for another reason then you shouldnt browse. from my understanding if youre going in to browse to buy later its ok too. sorry for going off the topic.

withhumor

Sat, Apr 14 2007, 10:09 pm

What about ordering free catalogs from companies that you’ll never buy from , but enjoy browsing… I can find a million ways that this can be scrutinized in the same way. I think it’s digging too deep.

mumoo

Mon, Apr 16 2007, 3:54 pm

this will be unpopular, I'm sure:
I am comfortable with how I look and dress in any store (though I choose resale/thrift over department any day) but I will dress to go out because I feel people treat me better that way. For better of worse, it's true. Not dressing to the nines, understand, but put together as a bas Melech should be. (btw I don't wear makeup and I'm not an ideal weight)

I am comfortable with my self in an old robe, no socks and a snood-or worse, but the general public probably isn't!

I also was particular (to a point, not neurotic) about how my young children appeared in public. when they are clean and dressed nicely, friends and strangers were more attentive and friendly. I feel this is good for their social development.

greenfire

Mon, Apr 16 2007, 4:17 pm

mumoo wrote:

I also was particular (to a point, not neurotic) about how my young children appeared in public. when they are clean and dressed nicely, friends and strangers were more attentive and friendly. I feel this is good for their social development.

I have given this advice to some of my dds friends when they were feeling friendless ... keep their hair neat ... be careful not to wear uniforms to birthday parties or out of school events ... it makes a difference in how the other girls view them ... it has worked on some not on others ...