Where should we live? Please help!!!

amother

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 6:30 am

Please help,

My husband and I have a son who will be 5 in the fall, and we are at a point in our lives where we need to decide where to live. We have been living in Europe for work, but that has now come to an end. We have no savings at all, but some student loan debt to repay. We figure we will have a combined income of only around $80 (before tax) the first few years, and we are scared to death that this is simply not enough to live in the US in any major Jewish city. We insist on sending our child to private Jewish school. The cost of tuition is what scares us the most. If we IY"H have more children, the financial burden just seems totally overwhelming. Our other idea is to move to Israel. My husband speaks Hebrew fluently, I speak almost none. This means our income will be about half of that, but tuition is almost free, and cost of living is far less, as far as I understand it. We keep going over the numbers and we simply don't know what is best. It is driving us crazy as we need to make a decision very very soon!

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!!!

amother

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 7:50 am

OP here,

Please forgive me if I wasn't clear. Our combined working income in the US will be around $80. We have no problem finding work, but that is about the salary we can expect for a few years, a little more after a few years (around $140 after that). My question is, can you live with that in the US? Can you pay rent on a 2-3 bedroom apartment, pay tuition for 2-3 kids, have a car, and still afford food, utilities, student loan repayment (about $1500 a month) etc? It just seems impossible. Is it realistic in Israel with half that income? We just don't know...

Thanks for your help.

Meema2Kids

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 7:54 am

Do you mean $80,000? DH and I make much less than that and while we are not living a luxurious lifestyle, we are certainly making it. We have 2 kids in school currently and are just buying a house (have rented until now). We live in the midwest. In the city we are moving to, there are 2 choices for orthodox schools, several shuls, etc.

amother

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 8:11 am

OP here,

Thanks for your reply. Yes, I meant $80,000. How do you do it? I mean at $10,000 a year for tuition alone in most major cities, how can you afford to put 3 kids through it? Rent is about $1000 a month, then there is all the rest. My numbers just don't add up. We are so stressed about it, it's all DH and I ever talk about. We've never lived in the US together since we've been married, and we are afraid of going back there just to end up in a terrible debt situation. I just want to know how people do it on normal people salaries?

Thanks so much for your help!!!

shalhevet

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 8:21 am

If you need to repay a student loan at $1500 a month, then forget Israel. I don't know what sort of work your husband is looking for, but many people don't even earn that amount monthly.

Otherwise if you live in a more out of the way place you can live cheaply (ie not Yerushalayim or Bnei Brak). Rent in some places can be $300-$400 with excellent chinuch and frum neighbours. Chinuch for the girls is free and for boys free or up to $150 a month - it depends what kind of system you would want to send them to - MO, chardal or chareidi. Could you work too? The salaries are lower but the cost of living is much lower too.

amother

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 8:34 am

amother wrote:

In Pittsburgh you can! Wink

Why dont you check it out?

NotInNJMommy

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 8:56 am

Pittsburgh and Cleveland both have large Jewish communities and a low cost of living. It may be worth you checking them out! I think Cleveland's Jewish community is bigger that Pitt.

chocolate moose

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 9:48 am

We paid tudent loans for years and years and that's what we told the tuition committee when they wanted to know why we insisted on paying so much less than anyone else.

Raisin

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 10:33 am

Op, I think I know who you are. 8) (hint: I live in the same country as you) you can pm me if I am right.

Good luck - sounds like a tough decision.

My advice - if possible live near your parents. (free babysitting and no airfare to visit them!)

TzenaRena

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 11:02 am

We are not paying 10,000 a year in tuition for each child. Confused

I think that FULL tuition in Crown Heights (for families who earn a comfortable income) is probably closer to 5,000. For families with less of an income, it's less, even much less. For families with a few children in the same school, there are tuition breaks.

Your numbers are probably way off.

I don't think you should be as worried as you are. Needless to say, the best option is remembering that the Aibershter is the one who gives parnassa. "Birchas Hashem hi taashir". He will surely make things work out the best way possible!

zkalan

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 11:35 am

With 80,000 a year you could pretty much live anywhere. We make about 45-55 combined a year and somehow we make it in Brooklyn, NY. So don't stress over it, just make a decision as to where would you want to live, Israel or US. If Israel, I heard that you could get an American based job. Speak to your local Aliyah Center.

amother

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 12:59 pm

Hi,

OP here again. Thanks so much for all your suggestions so far! I will definetly look into the places you mentioned. Our only criteria basically is, an eruv, a mikvah and an orthodox Jewish day school and shul. If that much is in place, then we're ok. Of course DH has to find a job there (I can work anywhere)! But perhaps we were looking at the wrong things? We throughly looked at Maryland, but the tuition at the main school there (I think it was called Berman's?) was around $12,000 a year! That scared us away. We looked briefly at NJ and NY, but the cost of living also seemed high... We're just really scared of getting into serious debt. We have always really wanted to live in Israel, but again, the numbers are scary. Please don't think I'm looking into any kind of fancy lifestyle, just an apartment to rent, a used car, and schooling.

Please keep your suggestions coming! Tongue Out

Meema2Kids

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 1:04 pm

The student loans are tough because you're stuck with them.... is there any way to reduce your payments? We moved to a 30-year repayment schedule. we also consolidated our loans through Direct Loans (US gov) and have an interest rate about 3.25%. We can always make extra payments but for now that helps us get on our feet.

Full tuition here is about $8,500.

greenfire

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 1:14 pm

hey there is always Cleveland ... 3 communities to chose from ... tons of shuls and 3 schools ... you can eventually buy a house because the mortgage payments would be cheap per month ... once you get settled ... there is an eruv ... a mikva ... oh and this is not a sales pitch ... just info ... nothing is ever perfect in life ... but choices at times need to be made ...

Is it possible to visit some of these areas before you need to make this major decision ...

DefyGravity

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 1:20 pm

zkalan wrote:

One COULD live anywhere, but it's more practical to live in a place where your income outweighs the expenses.

Mirabelle

Tue, Apr 24 2007, 1:22 pm

Hi,
I am from Silver Spring, Maryland originally which is where the Berman Hebrew Academy is. There are many other choices of day schools that would be cheaper including the Torah School which is a more frum elementry school and I am sure would be willing to work with you on tuition.