Are my kids too old for Aliyah?

5*Mom

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 12:08 pm

There are definitely more challenges at 9 and 7 than at 2 an 4, but it's not necessarily a disaster in the making -- depending on a few factors: how socially skilled and confident are they? How quick are they to pick up language? Do they have any learning or behavioral issues at all? And how willing are you and your dh to work hard at integrating yourselves. learning the language, making Israeli friends and adapting to Israeli culture?

mamaleh

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 12:23 pm

Are they boys or girls? What grades will they be in? Do they speak Hebrew? Can you get them a tutor there to catch them up to their peers here in any subjects where they might be behind? Or a tutor here to help them get and stay caught up?
My daughter came going into 2nd grade and was pretty much caught up to them in most subjects. If we had come a year later she would have been WAY behind in Chumash and in a very different place in math (behind in some aspects, possibly ahead in others)

amother

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 1:11 pm

OP - my son is 9 and daughter is 7. They don't have any learning issues but their knowledge of Hebrew is limited to what Americans learn in yeshiva in first grade and third grade. My son is immature and has trouble making friends. He does better with younger boys so I am thinking if we go it would be good to hold him back a year and repeat a grade.

5*Mom

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 1:26 pm

amother wrote:

The bolded would give me pause. If making friends in his mother tongue is difficult, it won't get any easier with a language barrier, even if the kids are younger. At 9, it will take him a while to learn enough Hebrew to be socially functional. Also, I would think about how his immaturity looks, or may look to a teacher. If it can in any way be construed as being disruptive or a behavioral problem your son would be in for one heck of a ride in school here.

Sanguine

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 1:43 pm

I know people who successfully made aliya with older kids. The trick is to move to a very anglo neighborhood and check that there are for sure anglo kids their exact grades. Then they can quickly make friends and feel comfortable. Also, the teachers in those neighborhoods are more used to dealing with olim. It makes a difference. Then start working on their Hebrew. Find an Israeli girl to come spend time with them and just talk - they can play games, go for walks... Just talk, talk, talk. Are your kids excited about the idea? (do they know?)

5*Mom

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 1:51 pm

Sanguine wrote:

In theory, maybe, but in practice that usually means RBS and I would really not recommend it.

sunny90

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 2:08 pm

5*Mom wrote:

In theory, maybe, but in practice that usually means RBS and I would really not recommend it.

Why wouldn't you recommend it? I live here and I love it!

Okay, speaking from firsthand experience here. My family made aliyah 12 years ago this summer to RBS. Things were very different then. I was 12, had a sister who was 10, another sister who was 8, a brother who was 5 and a sister who was 2. I did not acclimate very well for a long time (probably due to my extreme aversion to moving to Israel in the first place), but my sisters and brother were pretty much fine after getting used to it.
Back in those days, there weren't many school options for Anglos besides for Magen Avot. Now there are many options and the schools are also more understanding of and prepared for new olim. They are more tolerant and they even opened up a new girls high school a couple of years back with more American hashkafos as opposed to Israeli. Boys have the option of going to yeshiva high school or regular yeshiva. RBS is a lovely community with many types of people, both chareidi and non chareidi, and personally I'd never want to live anywhere else.
OP, if you want any more information please PM me.

amother

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 2:09 pm

There is no hard and fast rule. Plenty of olim bring 9 and 7 year olds and it works out just fine. Someone asked a good questions: are they on board? The fact that my kids were pulling us along on their aliya helped us as a family tremendously.

5*Mom

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 2:10 pm

sunny90 wrote:

I'm glad you're happy here. You haven't had much experience with sending children to school yet, though.

amother

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 2:15 pm

5*Mom wrote:

I'm glad you're happy here. You haven't had much experience with sending children to school yet, though.

I love it in RBS also. I have had some experience with sending kids to school.

5*Mom

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 2:31 pm

Sanguine wrote:

Before ou fight over Beit shemesh, Are they Chareidi or DL?

It doesn't change my recommendation; we have extensive experience in both systems and dh and I have discussed this extensively with dozens of families -- an informal kind of survey -- across the community and school spectrums (spectra?).

Sanguine

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 2:38 pm

5*Mom wrote:

back up... I said Move to an anglo community. You said that leaves only RBS which I don't recommend. I said why only RBS, are they Chareidi? Then you and the RBS ladies went on to argue RBS. If they're not Chareidi RBS isn't the only choice!! So before this RBS discussion goes on - ARE THEY CHAREIDI???

Sanguine

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 2:56 pm

Uh Oh - I think we scared OP away. She asked one small question and she stated fights. Remember there was once an American lady asking about Aliya and she would go to sleep and wake up to pages of "discussions", then she would go to work and we were still at it. I think we had her kids registered for gan and a deposit on an apartment without her ever coming back Rolling Laughter

Someone says ALIYA and it's like "we got a live one" we don't take a breath Colors

. Well I'm leaving at 10. I'll find out in the morning what color car she's getting Very Happy